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Old 02-09-2006, 06:38 PM   #1
Nindalf
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Nindalf's reviews

I'm bored, so thought I'd try some reviewing. I don't know how often I update(if ever), but we'll see.

All reviews are very biased and poorly written. They consist of half-assed thoughts with no coherency. They are by no means objective.

Yup.

EDIT: Also, if reviews contain pictures, they haven't been taken by me. I just Googled them because I'm too lazy to do it myself.

Last edited by Nindalf; 02-09-2006 at 06:42 PM.
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:38 PM   #2
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Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars (PC)

Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars (Also known Circle of Blood) is a classic adventure game, released in 1996 by Virgin Interactive. It's also extremely underrated, because people are too dumb to install games on their PC, let alone play a game that requires actual thinking.


Poor guy's walking to his death...

You are George Stobbart and at the beginning of the game you find yourself sitting outside a cafe in Paris, enjoying a nice drink. Jazz is playing, romance in the air, when you observe a man with a briefcase rush inside the cafe. Soon after a scary looking clown enters the said cafe. Not a particularly scary clown, but scary like all the clowns. Before you know it, the clown is running away from the cafe with the old man's brief case. And before you can say "Oi! What's going on in here?", the whole place blows up. The murderous cloud blew up the cafe with a bomb hidden in a evil clownish musical instrument. And so the story begins.

At the beginning of the game your goal is to find out what the clown took and why he killed the man from who he stole it. As the story advances, you learn how deep the storyline really is. Few games can match the brilliance of Shadow of the Templars' intense plot that is just enchanted with great writing and dialogue. The game has a great sense of an international adventure, Ala Indiana Jones. During the game you play in Ireland, France and Spain, on top of some other places, and each one feels new and different. I probably should talk about the story more, but either you have played the game and know already, or you haven't played it and therefore doesn't deserve to know. Shame on you.

Being an adventure game, perhaps the most important part of the game is its puzzles. Few adventure game handles these as well as Broken Sword. It manages to keep almost a perfect balance, not so annoyingly fucking hard you have to consult walkthroughs every second, or at all if you have any patience, but still not so easy your blind retard cousin on ritalin could pass it.

The graphics are very impressive for a game released in 1996, and due to its great style it is still beautiful to look at today. The voice acting and music are also top notch!

George in Spain

Overall Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars is one of the finest examples of how an adventure game should made. The historical (and religious) plot is extremely intriguing and keeps interest up until the very end, its puzzles are well done and the characters are very likeable and interesting. A gem that should be played by any self-respecting gamer.

This game gets the perfect possible score, 5 TEMPLARS OUT THE POSSIBLE 5

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Old 02-09-2006, 06:47 PM   #3
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........your literally insane.

Dont forget to place an index on your first post so we dont have to dig through pages to look something up.

And very good review of broken sword. Reminds me of Kings Quest games mixed with Dragons Lair
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:50 PM   #4
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Yeah, I would hate it if I weren't able to find my 3 reviews.
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:53 PM   #5
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you only have 1, i counted!!!
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Old 02-09-2006, 06:55 PM   #6
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THE SHAME
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Old 02-10-2006, 03:24 AM   #7
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What a coincidence! I'm reviewing the GBA version of Shadows of the Templar. Small world huh?
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Old 02-10-2006, 04:31 AM   #8
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Serpah, don't ruin this wonderful thread!

Awesome review Paasivirta.
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Old 02-10-2006, 06:21 AM   #9
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Review Super Mario Bros 3.
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Old 02-10-2006, 06:23 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ALttP
What a coincidence! I'm reviewing the GBA version of Shadows of the Templar. Small world huh?
That review better not be better than mine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Paper exe
Review Super Mario Bros 3.
If I keep reviewing, I'm sure it'll be coming up at some point.
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Old 02-14-2006, 11:19 AM   #11
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Rome: Total War (PC)

Released in 2004, Rome: Total War is the latest instalment in the popular Total War series (I'm not counting expansions, because those are just developers' evil scheme to charge money for glorified patches).


Map Overview

Total War series has always been a mix of real time and turn based strategy and Rome is no exception. Most of the game happens on world map. Player can do all kinds of boring stuff like set taxes and build building and units. And that's pretty much it. You will also move your units on the map if you want to attack or just move them for the sake of moving. That sounded much better in my head.

If you attack someone, or they attack you, you can choose whether you want to fight yourself or do you want the computer to generate the outcome. I discovered that you win almost every time if you let the computer fight, unless you're fighting against an army 5 times bigger with better units. Gay or awesome? You decide.

What sucks most about the battle system is how they handled the war at sea. I stopped building boats because it's so fucking annoying. Unlike in the battles at land, you cannot fight the battle yourself. You can only let the computer fight it. After a couple dozen of times it became really retarded. You always get a pop-up saying "YOUR SHIP IS UNDER ATTACK!! WHAT WILL YOU DOOO!?" GEE, I GUESS I'LL LET THE COMPUTER HANDLE THIS ONE!

The actual battles you actually get to fight are very impressive. In some ways a battle between two small armies is just as entertaining as a clash between two huge ones.


City attack. Or defense. Whatever.

The balance of units is very well done, except I didn't like the archers much. They're great when defending and all, but they're really stupid. When enemy is really far away, they naturally aim to the air and the arrows rain down on the enemy. But you'd think that when an enemy army is charging at you (especially when they're on horses), you'd STOP SHOOTING TO THE FUCKING SKY and aim DIRECTLY AT THE ENEMIES CLOSING IN! Retarded! But other than the dumb archers, the combat is really fun and sometimes makes you think you're really a masterful commander. I of course am one for real, but this game would make all you delusional people think you are too.


Riders attacking spear men. Duh.

One of the small faults of the game is commanding of cities. There really is no way of putting pissed of cities in order without waiting for the rebellion. And when a major city is suddenly occupied by a nearly thousand rebels, it's no easy feat winning it back. But this brings up another point where this game shines. Defending cities(And attacking them) is perhaps the best part of the game. Especially when you have tons of archers on the walls(who in this case can't really mess it up by aiming to hell) is great to see the invaders bring up ladders and siege towers as they are firing at you with catapults. Awesomeness.


Brits attacking a major city. They'll probably die. Brits suck in this game

Diplomacy also plays part in Rome. Sometimes it's better to form alliances with your enemies so you can concentrate on fighting others. Also forming trade agreements and trying to make other factions to pay you is a good way to pay for the armies that will destroy them. Different Factions are also very different. Rome is of course the most advanced and their legions are the best in the game, and my favorites. Galls and Germans are like cave people and Brits are a bunch of William Wallace wanna-bes. You get the point.

Overall this is the best game in the Total War series and should be played by all. One of the best strategy games ever.

Rome: Total War deserves a very impressive score, 5 AND A HALF CAESARS OUT THE POSSIBLE 6
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Old 02-14-2006, 03:57 PM   #12
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hmmm......interesting review thread. I like the style of reviews. I like how you pander to nobody but yourself. I commend you for this.
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Old 02-14-2006, 04:25 PM   #13
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I interpret that as "You're awesome".

I thank thee.
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Old 02-14-2006, 07:20 PM   #14
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Ha ha Nindalf uses the super-crappy Magicbox default as his forum skin. "OLD School" looks way better. As Paper would say, "Everyone know this".
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Old 02-15-2006, 06:25 AM   #15
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Old school is absolutely hideous. I refuse to use it.
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