The MagicBox Forums  

Go Back   The MagicBox Forums > General Topics > Community Board

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-03-2005, 01:53 AM   #1
Stalin
International Playboy
 
Stalin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: The Kremlin 4 Eva'
Posts: 260
End of Sex

Saw this on another board:

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.
__________________
When we hang the capitalists, they will sell us the rope.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DevinBre
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bromocore
the fuck is a n00b?

.... Is that considered irony?
Stalin is offline   Reply With Quote
Connect With Facebook to "Like" This Thread

Old 10-03-2005, 02:03 AM   #2
Vegetto
Alive
 
Vegetto's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Utah
Posts: 9,399
or for a long long long time, from her at least

that was good though
Vegetto is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 02:56 AM   #3
Daniel4802
That booty too fine
 
Daniel4802's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Allen, TX
Posts: 1,658
That was truely priceless. She got wtf pwnzored.
__________________
Anime:Ben-to, C3, Chihayafuru, Fate Zero, Guilty Crown, Last Exile 2, Persona 4, Shakugan no Shana 3 and Un Go.
Manga:Arachnid, Ayakashi Hisen, Beast 9, Crime Zone, Hitogatana, Kick no Oneesan, Gate 7, Last Game, Paladin, Taiyou no Ie and Uwakoi.
Daniel4802 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 03:08 AM   #4
[M]egaman Ver.6
Sign 'O' The Times
 
[M]egaman Ver.6's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Zamunda
Posts: 1,013
Hookers.

:cool guy:
__________________
And I ain't gonna tell nobody nobody 'bout my little pretty toy
All the other kids would love 2 love U but U're my little private joy
My private joy
U're my private joy
[M]egaman Ver.6 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 03:13 AM   #5
burpingcat
Really Enjoys The Magic Box
 
burpingcat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,156
wait, wait, wait, wait just a minute....

what's a tennis bracelet?

edit: i google'd it and i still don't understand

Last edited by burpingcat; 10-03-2005 at 03:30 AM.
burpingcat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 03:16 AM   #6
Keits
Kaizoku da!
 
Keits's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,586
LOL! That was a great read. Thanks!
Keits is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 03:23 AM   #7
Drunken Savior
Mahjikbahks is dying.
 
Drunken Savior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 18,668
I would never go out with a woman who didn't enjoy sex all the time.

Bitch got put in her place good!
__________________

Games I'm hyped for
The Witcher 3, Batman: Arkham Kight, Star Citizen, The Division, Metal Gear Solid V
Drunken Savior is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 04:24 AM   #8
Keits
Kaizoku da!
 
Keits's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,586
Quote:
Originally Posted by Drunken Savior
I would never go out with a woman who didn't enjoy sex all the time.

Bitch got put in her place good!
Honestly, I don't blame some women for not enjoying sex. If their partner is terrible at it, then what desire could remain once things become routine?

The way our society makes sex seem like a forbiden treasure to young males, I wouldnt be surprised if there was a LARGE percentage of premature ejaculators in our population (at least pre-age 20).
Keits is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 04:34 AM   #9
Drunken Savior
Mahjikbahks is dying.
 
Drunken Savior's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Posts: 18,668
I blame them. If your sex gets stale, it's time to bounce out of there. Part of love is loving to please the person you love. Keep an open mind.

Heh, you'd be amazed at the number of premature ejaculators. If you prematurely shoot, I recommend learning new tricks to supplement. I mean Gene Simmons new tricks.
__________________

Games I'm hyped for
The Witcher 3, Batman: Arkham Kight, Star Citizen, The Division, Metal Gear Solid V
Drunken Savior is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 08:19 AM   #10
camac
I feel so good.
 
camac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: FL
Posts: 3,550
Haha that was hilarious, and here I was expecting a wholesome moral or something.
camac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 09:43 AM   #11
Reality
Sin and Punishment
 
Reality's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Ohio
Posts: 14,381
Man, I wonder if they found his body yet.
__________________
Outpostnine is that 1%.
Reality is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 09:48 AM   #12
justin_credible
Registered User
 
justin_credible's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,271
I turned my virgin girlfriend into someone who wants it all the time. Seriously she buys expensive lingerie all the time and wears it just for me.

It has to be because I am like Don Juan lover.

....or maybe she doesn't know any better just because she hasn't tried anyone else. Damn.
justin_credible is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 10:41 AM   #13
Paper exe
Pwnd
 
Paper exe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 8,876
Shame on all of you!!!!!11!
Paper exe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 10:52 AM   #14
Magnus
The world's stopping but we keep going
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Australia
Posts: 2,358
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paper exe
Shame on all of you!!!!!11!
Magnus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2005, 11:00 AM   #15
Vicviper
Hello handsome!
 
Vicviper's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 3,081
Oh Snap! man vs. girl. man wins

The only reason women are like this is because they believe EVERYTHING they hear and read from shows like Oprah, Dr. Phil, The View, etc... Shows like this are the downfall of man.
Vicviper is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:36 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.