Joe Redifer's Super-Awesome Reviews!!!! - Page 77

Pikachief · 08-17-2006, 02:03 AM

this whole reviewing nonsense reminds me
i said i'd get to making my pointLESS reviews after i got Mother 3!

but i think i'll start 2marow

Nephlabobo · 08-17-2006, 06:27 AM

I wish someone would re-release Lunar 1 and 2 with a new translation that didn't suck.

Victor Ireland can rot in hell.

Joe Redifer · 08-17-2006, 03:50 PM

I have never played the PS re-releases. What about them sucks so bad, besides the redone music?

Nindalf · 08-17-2006, 03:56 PM

That they were on a Sony platform, of course, silly.

Seraph · 08-17-2006, 04:19 PM

They dont suck at all, and I thought the translations were very enjoyable.

Sinful Sam · 08-17-2006, 06:34 PM

The only bad thing I remember from the PS1 remakes was the bad voice acting.

Nephlabobo · 08-21-2006, 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sinful Sam

The only bad thing I remember from the PS1 remakes was the bad voice acting.

I think the voice acting came across as bad partly because of the script.

Joe Redifer · 08-26-2006, 11:37 PM

Beggar Prince
5/10
Sega Genesis

The artwork may be crappy, but I
was stoked just to see that it came
in a plastic clamshell case!!

Beggar Prince is a brand new game released in the US for the Sega Genesis by Super Fighter Team (it also works on PAL Mega Drives). Unike your typical ROM patches which just translate the language and that's it, Beggar Prince was given a full release that includes box, a cartridge that looks like a real Genesis cart with a cartridge lock notch in it (for Mega Drives) and a color instruction manual (very few of these on Sega systems). The box is a plastic clamshell similar to Genesis boxes before Sega of America's paper box cheap-o days, but with a non-textured plastic cover. The manual is printed on very high quality paper as well and even smells new. And who hasn't sniffed a manual of a brand new game at least once? If you haven't then you are mentally deficient and deserve anal herpes. The game costs $40 plus shipping and some other nonsense and has no region protection. Only 600 copies were made and Super Fighter Team had about 15 left at the time of this review.

The game opens with a looooong scene, which you can skip.

Story: 6/10
The story involves an asswipe of a prince who is bored with his crappy life and wants to get some action on the street. So he sneaks out of his castle and sees some beggar dude who looks similar to himself. After a bit of man-lovin' they accidentally put the other's clothes back on. Now everyone thinks the prince is some dipshit beggar. I think this might have something to do with the game's title, but more research is necessary. The real prince can't get back into his castle and the world starts to fall apart. Thus begins your mostly average RPG with annoying random battles, some puzzles and stuff like that. But Beggar Prince isn't 100% average. The story is enough to keep you involved, but it would probably make for a crappy movie.

A typical battle scene with some magic usage. I rarely used
magic because it misses a lot and seemed fairly ineffective.

Graphics: 5/10
Beggar Price is almost average on all graphic counts. This is an unlicensed game so the Taiwanese developers didn't have access to a real Sega development system... and it shows. When the screen starts to fade out, all sprites disappear. The screen scrolls smoothly when going horizontal, but when scrolling vertically it likes to stutter. Some of the screens can look pretty good, but there isn't anything that would have truly impressed gamers even back in 1991. There is a bit of nice line scrolling when the "Amidala" spell is used, however. The enemy sprites have very little animation, though some more than others. I swear that the "Cat Soldier" enemies attack you by unrolling their penises at you and the mummies attack you with toilet paper.

Oooo an ice level! That thing in the lower left will
allow you to save your game. It is supposed to be a
glorious beam of light. Can you tell?

Sound: 4/10
The music in the game is usually below average, but a few of the tunes are almost good. I like the deep bass line that is in part of the boss tune, but the rest of the instruments sound pretty weak. One tune in the pyramid (towards the end) is nice and soothing. And I was surprised to hear a bit of stereo! I didn't know that Taiwan had discovered the space-age technology of stereo yet. The sound effects are OK and there are quite a few digitized sounds. When you attack an enemy they make a sound like a crow cawing... over and over and over. Even the mummies. When you attack a large boss, they respond with something like "Bleccch!!" To be quite honest I usually engaged the MUTE button or listened to music from CD or MD while playing the game.

This scene was confusing. You are supposed to jump off
of the cliff to avoid the boulders. This scene has much slowdown
despite only 5 or 6 rocks being onscreen simultaneously.

Gameplay: 6/10
The gameplay really isn't too bad and can be pretty addicting. The game always doesn't spell out for you what you need to do and ther are a lot of bugs in the game since it was programmed in Taiwan (who care more about getting a product out to make $$$ than releasing something of high quality). There are places you can get stuck eternally if you don't have a certain item, and there is nothing you can do but start over from the beginning unless you have a save from earlier on... if your game actually retains the save files, that is (more on this in a bit). There are no typical shops in this game and no money system. In order to present something to an "NPC" in the game, you must use it while facing them. New weapons and armor are automatically equipped. Your character moves pretty fast which is good, but you will get into a battle every 5 or 6 seconds when wandering in a dungeon or whatnot, and it becomes EXTREMELY annoying. You are just trying to solve a puzzle but keep getting interrupted by those damned enemies! And in fights your character misses A LOT! He seems to miss more and more as he powers up. What the hell? I've seen him miss up to 5 times in a row despite the graphics clearly showing a hit. The battle system is fairly unique. You have a stamina bar and can continue to attack as long as you have stamina left. This is usually 5 regular attacks. Using magic uses up more stamina. The enemy has a shared stamina bar as well. So if you are ambushed by 6 monsters and all 6 are left when their turn starts, only 5 will attack. If only one is left, it will attack you five times before your turn comes up. You always attack first. It was confusing at first but then became acceptable. In towns you can find an empty bed which will completely restore your HP and MP. What is hilarious is that there are random beds in caves and dungeons as well, and your character will just tuck himself in and take a snooze! The game is worth buying just for that. The length of the game is supposedly anywhere between 10 and 20 hours long.

Here you must fight the cactus boss. The graphics here
remind me of the crappy visuals in "Dragon's Revenge", that
awful pinball game that Tengen made themselves.

Wrap Up:
While Beggar Prince is a nice game, there are quite a few caveats you should consider. First is that there are many bugs in this game. I have had the game freeze on me for no reason three times randomly. I have seen the selection menu get screwed up. The game will not allow you to save or load if you have a 32X. Same with a CDX. The game seems to erase save files randomly. This happened to me at the beginning of the game, I opened the cartridge and the battery was slightly out of place. I re-centered it and all was fine until I played for many more hours over the course of two or three days. Then the next day I turned on my Genesis and could no longer select continue because the game erased my saves again for no reason, even though the battery was still secure. This is unacceptable. I am not going to play through all of that again just to have my save file erased, which WILL happen again. I must knock the overall score down one point due to these caveats. The game is well translated but sloppily programmed. Every single thing about it is below average compared to other Genesis games with the exception of being able to replace the save battery yourself and the cartridge having Phillips-style screws instead of those retard-o "gamebit" screws.

Pikachief · 08-27-2006, 01:59 AM

wow these reviews just keep getting super-awesomer and super-awesomER!

Seraph · 08-28-2006, 12:28 AM

I love the cat bandits

And maybe im wrong, but i could have sworn ive seen a movie like that. anyways, not a bad looking RPG for the genesis.

Icarus4578 · 08-28-2006, 10:47 AM

Who would've thought that a Taiwanese company would release a Genesis game while we're making the transition into consoles three generations older?? And what's with 5 misses in a row? A battery that deletes save files at random? Wow, where do I sign up? :annoyed:

Yeah... When was the last time you played an RPG with dialogue like that?

Quote:

Originally Posted by someTHING

wow these reviews just keep getting super-awesomer and super-awesomER!

And your nose just keeps getting super-browner and super-brownER.

Quote:

Originally Posted by seraph830

anyways, not a bad looking RPG for the genesis.

Wanna see a bad RPG for Genesis? Here goes.

Fatal Labyrinth by Sega. What were they thinking?

Vicviper · 08-28-2006, 11:33 AM

I was really enjoying this game when I got hit with a horrible bug. I was in the pyramid and thought I had completed and collected everything I needed to move on. I proceeded to exit said pyramid and soon came to find that I still needed a pair of sand boots that were still in the pyramid. Without these boots the player cannot advance the story. I tried and tried and tried to get back into the pyramid but it was useless. So my adventure ended pre mature and I haven't built up the ambition to start all over from the beginning again.

Joe Redifer · 08-28-2006, 06:52 PM

The sand boots are right by the exit! And they work! Yeah, it is interesting that in most other RPGs if you had tried to exit without them, your character would probably say something like "Perhaps I should look around a bit more before I leave". I am surprised you can't get back in. Does the spinning sand toilet kill you instead of let you in?

Vicviper · 08-28-2006, 09:25 PM

The spinning sand toilet becomes part of the background and you can walk right over it or stand on top of it and nothing happens.
I'm wondering if the battery in your cartridge is dead or faulty. I feel you should go to Radio Shack and buy a new one for a very low price.

Joe Redifer · 08-28-2006, 10:33 PM

If I wanted a low price why the hell would I go to Radio Shack? Instead I go to Radio Shack for fantastic service by the experts who treat me like a number 1 customer! Anyway the battery is outputting 3.27vdc like it should. I just don't think it was fastened correctly. I super-secured it and saved a game. We'll see if it keeps for a few days/weeks.

If you can walk on top of the sand toilets, couldn't you also walk on top of the sand at the bottom which is what you need to do to progress? TRY IT!

08-17-2006, 02:03 AM	#1141
Pikachief To save or to feed? Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: earth Posts: 2,918	this whole reviewing nonsense reminds me i said i'd get to making my pointLESS reviews after i got Mother 3! but i think i'll start 2marow __________________ Games Playing: Final Fantasy 13 (4th time now, PS3 harddrive keeps failing :/ ), Gran Turismo 5, Ocarina of Time 3D, Super Mario 3D Land, Super Meat Boy

08-17-2006, 06:34 PM	#1146
Sinful Sam gnarf! gnarf! Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Five min away from SavedFromSin Posts: 8,822	The only bad thing I remember from the PS1 remakes was the bad voice acting. __________________ Join our Discord channel!!! https://discord.gg/htgtYqy Last edited by Sinful Sam; 08-17-2006 at 06:37 PM.

08-27-2006, 01:59 AM	#1149
Pikachief To save or to feed? Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: earth Posts: 2,918	wow these reviews just keep getting super-awesomer and super-awesomER! __________________ Games Playing: Final Fantasy 13 (4th time now, PS3 harddrive keeps failing :/ ), Gran Turismo 5, Ocarina of Time 3D, Super Mario 3D Land, Super Meat Boy

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08-17-2006, 06:27 AM	#1142
Nephlabobo Banned Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Carbombia Posts: 2,688	I wish someone would re-release Lunar 1 and 2 with a new translation that didn't suck. Victor Ireland can rot in hell.

08-17-2006, 03:50 PM	#1143
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	I have never played the PS re-releases. What about them sucks so bad, besides the redone music?

08-17-2006, 03:56 PM	#1144
Nindalf Registered User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 11,925	That they were on a Sony platform, of course, silly.

08-17-2006, 04:19 PM	#1145
Seraph >:3 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Troy, MI Posts: 11,000	They dont suck at all, and I thought the translations were very enjoyable.

08-26-2006, 11:37 PM	#1148
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	Beggar Prince 5/10 Sega Genesis The artwork may be crappy, but I was stoked just to see that it came in a plastic clamshell case!! Beggar Prince is a brand new game released in the US for the Sega Genesis by Super Fighter Team (it also works on PAL Mega Drives). Unike your typical ROM patches which just translate the language and that's it, Beggar Prince was given a full release that includes box, a cartridge that looks like a real Genesis cart with a cartridge lock notch in it (for Mega Drives) and a color instruction manual (very few of these on Sega systems). The box is a plastic clamshell similar to Genesis boxes before Sega of America's paper box cheap-o days, but with a non-textured plastic cover. The manual is printed on very high quality paper as well and even smells new. And who hasn't sniffed a manual of a brand new game at least once? If you haven't then you are mentally deficient and deserve anal herpes. The game costs $40 plus shipping and some other nonsense and has no region protection. Only 600 copies were made and Super Fighter Team had about 15 left at the time of this review. The game opens with a looooong scene, which you can skip. Story: 6/10 The story involves an asswipe of a prince who is bored with his crappy life and wants to get some action on the street. So he sneaks out of his castle and sees some beggar dude who looks similar to himself. After a bit of man-lovin' they accidentally put the other's clothes back on. Now everyone thinks the prince is some dipshit beggar. I think this might have something to do with the game's title, but more research is necessary. The real prince can't get back into his castle and the world starts to fall apart. Thus begins your mostly average RPG with annoying random battles, some puzzles and stuff like that. But Beggar Prince isn't 100% average. The story is enough to keep you involved, but it would probably make for a crappy movie. A typical battle scene with some magic usage. I rarely used magic because it misses a lot and seemed fairly ineffective. Graphics: 5/10 Beggar Price is almost average on all graphic counts. This is an unlicensed game so the Taiwanese developers didn't have access to a real Sega development system... and it shows. When the screen starts to fade out, all sprites disappear. The screen scrolls smoothly when going horizontal, but when scrolling vertically it likes to stutter. Some of the screens can look pretty good, but there isn't anything that would have truly impressed gamers even back in 1991. There is a bit of nice line scrolling when the "Amidala" spell is used, however. The enemy sprites have very little animation, though some more than others. I swear that the "Cat Soldier" enemies attack you by unrolling their penises at you and the mummies attack you with toilet paper. Oooo an ice level! That thing in the lower left will allow you to save your game. It is supposed to be a glorious beam of light. Can you tell? Sound: 4/10 The music in the game is usually below average, but a few of the tunes are almost good. I like the deep bass line that is in part of the boss tune, but the rest of the instruments sound pretty weak. One tune in the pyramid (towards the end) is nice and soothing. And I was surprised to hear a bit of stereo! I didn't know that Taiwan had discovered the space-age technology of stereo yet. The sound effects are OK and there are quite a few digitized sounds. When you attack an enemy they make a sound like a crow cawing... over and over and over. Even the mummies. When you attack a large boss, they respond with something like "Bleccch!!" To be quite honest I usually engaged the MUTE button or listened to music from CD or MD while playing the game. This scene was confusing. You are supposed to jump off of the cliff to avoid the boulders. This scene has much slowdown despite only 5 or 6 rocks being onscreen simultaneously. Gameplay: 6/10 The gameplay really isn't too bad and can be pretty addicting. The game always doesn't spell out for you what you need to do and ther are a lot of bugs in the game since it was programmed in Taiwan (who care more about getting a product out to make $$$ than releasing something of high quality). There are places you can get stuck eternally if you don't have a certain item, and there is nothing you can do but start over from the beginning unless you have a save from earlier on... if your game actually retains the save files, that is (more on this in a bit). There are no typical shops in this game and no money system. In order to present something to an "NPC" in the game, you must use it while facing them. New weapons and armor are automatically equipped. Your character moves pretty fast which is good, but you will get into a battle every 5 or 6 seconds when wandering in a dungeon or whatnot, and it becomes EXTREMELY annoying. You are just trying to solve a puzzle but keep getting interrupted by those damned enemies! And in fights your character misses A LOT! He seems to miss more and more as he powers up. What the hell? I've seen him miss up to 5 times in a row despite the graphics clearly showing a hit. The battle system is fairly unique. You have a stamina bar and can continue to attack as long as you have stamina left. This is usually 5 regular attacks. Using magic uses up more stamina. The enemy has a shared stamina bar as well. So if you are ambushed by 6 monsters and all 6 are left when their turn starts, only 5 will attack. If only one is left, it will attack you five times before your turn comes up. You always attack first. It was confusing at first but then became acceptable. In towns you can find an empty bed which will completely restore your HP and MP. What is hilarious is that there are random beds in caves and dungeons as well, and your character will just tuck himself in and take a snooze! The game is worth buying just for that. The length of the game is supposedly anywhere between 10 and 20 hours long. Here you must fight the cactus boss. The graphics here remind me of the crappy visuals in "Dragon's Revenge", that awful pinball game that Tengen made themselves. Wrap Up: While Beggar Prince is a nice game, there are quite a few caveats you should consider. First is that there are many bugs in this game. I have had the game freeze on me for no reason three times randomly. I have seen the selection menu get screwed up. The game will not allow you to save or load if you have a 32X. Same with a CDX. The game seems to erase save files randomly. This happened to me at the beginning of the game, I opened the cartridge and the battery was slightly out of place. I re-centered it and all was fine until I played for many more hours over the course of two or three days. Then the next day I turned on my Genesis and could no longer select continue because the game erased my saves again for no reason, even though the battery was still secure. This is unacceptable. I am not going to play through all of that again just to have my save file erased, which WILL happen again. I must knock the overall score down one point due to these caveats. The game is well translated but sloppily programmed. Every single thing about it is below average compared to other Genesis games with the exception of being able to replace the save battery yourself and the cartridge having Phillips-style screws instead of those retard-o "gamebit" screws.

08-28-2006, 12:28 AM	#1150
Seraph >:3 Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Troy, MI Posts: 11,000	I love the cat bandits And maybe im wrong, but i could have sworn ive seen a movie like that. anyways, not a bad looking RPG for the genesis.

08-28-2006, 11:33 AM	#1152
Vicviper Hello handsome! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,081	I was really enjoying this game when I got hit with a horrible bug. I was in the pyramid and thought I had completed and collected everything I needed to move on. I proceeded to exit said pyramid and soon came to find that I still needed a pair of sand boots that were still in the pyramid. Without these boots the player cannot advance the story. I tried and tried and tried to get back into the pyramid but it was useless. So my adventure ended pre mature and I haven't built up the ambition to start all over from the beginning again.

08-28-2006, 06:52 PM	#1153
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	The sand boots are right by the exit! And they work! Yeah, it is interesting that in most other RPGs if you had tried to exit without them, your character would probably say something like "Perhaps I should look around a bit more before I leave". I am surprised you can't get back in. Does the spinning sand toilet kill you instead of let you in?

08-28-2006, 09:25 PM	#1154
Vicviper Hello handsome! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,081	The spinning sand toilet becomes part of the background and you can walk right over it or stand on top of it and nothing happens. I'm wondering if the battery in your cartridge is dead or faulty. I feel you should go to Radio Shack and buy a new one for a very low price.

08-28-2006, 10:33 PM	#1155
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	If I wanted a low price why the hell would I go to Radio Shack? Instead I go to Radio Shack for fantastic service by the experts who treat me like a number 1 customer! Anyway the battery is outputting 3.27vdc like it should. I just don't think it was fastened correctly. I super-secured it and saved a game. We'll see if it keeps for a few days/weeks. If you can walk on top of the sand toilets, couldn't you also walk on top of the sand at the bottom which is what you need to do to progress? TRY IT!