Joe Redifer's Super-Awesome Reviews!!!! - Page 60

Joe Redifer · 11-16-2005, 03:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

you did leave out some good games that are worth noting such as:
Typing of the Dead

Mentioned.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

Powerstone

Didn't care much for it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

Giga Wing 2

Hmmm....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

Test Drive-Vrally(good at the time)

Yeah at the time, but the game makes me nauseous, especially with that Euro-music.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

Ecco teh Dolphin

That was a good one. Probably some of the best graphics on the DC, but the control kinda sucked.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

Samba de Amigo

Metioned. Did you read my review or just scan it?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

Sega Bass/Marine fishing

No thank you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

18-wheeler pro trucker

That game sucked so much ass. It was like I was playing a racing game in slow motion. The only thing I liked about it was how you could drive across the entire country in like 45 seconds (at 25mph).

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vicviper

Oh and you cut me down because I had a dial up modem at the time.

You and everyone else who was online with the Dreamcast. I didn't single you out, I meant all other 247 people who played the Dreamcast online back in the day.

Vicviper · 11-16-2005, 11:03 PM

Of course I read your review. My memory has been putting everything in short term lately.
Can I borrow your CDX?

Joe Redifer · 11-17-2005, 12:20 AM

Not until you repay that $950 you borrowed! Or was it $9500? Yeah I think that was it.

Vicviper · 11-17-2005, 11:18 PM

oh crap. I don't have that kind of money just laying around...............hey wait a minute! I know I don't owe you anything because I wrote it down on toilet paper.

George Foreman · 11-17-2005, 11:38 PM

Joe, you gotta play Toy Commander; It will convert you!!!!!

Joe Redifer · 11-18-2005, 01:42 AM

Even if I loved the game more than life itself, the Dreamcast's rating as an overall console probably would not change because its controllers would still suck ass, it would still have those completely useless VMUs, it would still have the lens of deafness, and it would still have a very high percentage of average games.

MarionetteKazuk · 11-18-2005, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Redifer

Even if I loved the game more than life itself, the Dreamcast's rating as an overall console probably would not change because its controllers would still suck ass, it would still have those completely useless VMUs, it would still have the lens of deafness, and it would still have a very high percentage of average games.

What i found good about the vmus was that you could trade data with someone without having to have your dc with you. I also enjoyed raising my chao on there, I did that glitch thing where you put the silver choa from sa onto sa2 and then raise it righ so when it "evolves" it turns into a bigger silver chao (it looks kinda like sonic with blue eyes and a silver pupil). Anyways back to you joe.

Risky · 11-18-2005, 03:59 PM

didn't even mention the best game for the dreamcast: Rez. oh how many euphoric night's i've spent playing that game under the influence. other than that, i think DC was a great system after it died, because there was a strong mod community with a lot of other great games that never made it stateside

Joe Redifer · 12-06-2005, 08:07 PM

Devil's Crush
8/10
TurboGrafx-16

Like all US NEC games, the box art is atrocious!

Let me start off by saying that I pretty much hate all pinball games. Real pinball games, that is. When it comes to videogame pinball I am much more forgiving since you can do things in games that you can't in real life, like having things walk around on the board or explode! Called "Devil Crash" in Japan, Naxat has once agan given us a great video pinball game. They first brought us Alien Crush which was good but they forgot to program scrolling into the game, and it suffered as a result. Devil's Crush fixes any problems Alien may have had and adds a whole bunch o' other crap that nobody needs all purely for your enjoyment!

The board is divided up into 3 screens. This is the middle one.
You can turn that lady into a lizard if you piss her off enough.

Graphics: 8/10
The graphics are crisp and clear. Demons look kick ass and the whole thing has a decidedly underworld look to it for some odd reason. If you are expecting the shiny-happy world of Flipnic, you're about to be surprised. Great color and satanic graphics add to the fun (you won't find Jesus forgiving anyone's sins in THIS game). The Sega Mega Drive version of this game known as Devil Crash MD/Dragon's Fury doesn't quite look as nice on the TV screen as this verion, despite the latter's increased resolution.

A comparison between the graphics of the Genesis and TurboGrafx
versions. The resolution of both playfields are the same, but the
Genesis has extra resolution so more stuff on the right was added.
The Genesis version tries to have a bit too much detail, making
the TurboGrafx version end up looking cleaner and better overall.

Sound: 8/10
Naxat really improved the music this time around. The main theme is simply fantastic, and the sub themes are all great as well. The sound effects are also great. The knight makes a serious groan of pain when you slam him in his nuts with your steel pinball. When you lose a ball, the skull laughs at how much you suck ass. When you lose your final ball he laughs even longer because he knows you just aren't man enough to do very well. Unlike the Genesis version, the music keeps playing while the voices are running, and the voices sound slightly cleaner here as well for some reason. A great audio package. Real pinball can't match this! But that's because real pinball is for giant douches.

One of the bonus stages, destroy all of Tiamat's heads!

Gameplay: 8/10
I like using my ball to squash little demons running rampant all over the board. You just can't do that in real pinball. Real pinball is retarded. Another thing this game does is give you bonus screens in which you try to accomplish a difficult objective. Unfortunately there aren't as many bonus stages as the Genesis version and they don't quite look as cool as that version, either. The game is easy enough to play. If you can't figure it out, then your mom deserves Hepatitus A right in her snatch. She should also have it on her anus and mouth just for good measure. Maybe in the left ear, too. If you are used to Metroid Prime Hunters Echos Pinball or whatever the hell it is called for the DS, know that you don't have to touch the screen in Devil's Crush to tilt the board. You simply press a button. The goal of the game is to max out the score. For a pinball game, this kicks ass!

Another bonus stage. Destroy these losers!

Bottom Line:
Naxat is the best video pinball maker ever. NOBODY can match them. Nobody. Also, your mom smells really bad.

Vicviper · 12-07-2005, 12:04 AM

sweet ass review! I love Naxat pinball just as much as you do. It's hard to say which game is better this or Jaki Crush. I like both of them very much. Just like how your mom loves me more than she loves you. Not that that has anything to do with this review but.......
Real pinball can be entertaining if you play on the right machine. But the problem is nobody carries good pinball games anymore. It's all stupid ass ones like The Simpsons or Home Improvement. WTF?? Gayness. What ever happened to machines like Elvira and Haunted House?

Icarus4578 · 12-07-2005, 01:30 AM

It's been awhile since I've played this. Hmph. Real pinball is still fun!!

Joe Redifer · 12-07-2005, 01:47 AM

Devil's Crush is better than Jaki for sure. Jaki is #2!

By the way Vic you are supposed to love The Simpsons pinball simply because it is the Simpsons and you must love everything Simpsons!

ALttP · 12-07-2005, 03:55 AM

I like Joe's reviews. We Love Katamari's review helped me know more crap about the game. o.o

Joe, what do you think of mine? o.o

Joe Redifer · 12-07-2005, 01:28 PM

They're good, though you seem to be pretty generous with your scores.

ALttP · 12-07-2005, 02:46 PM

Well, most of the reviews I've put up are from my top list, so...

11-17-2005, 11:38 PM	#890
George Foreman Registered User Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 982	Joe, you gotta play Toy Commander; It will convert you!!!!! __________________ Pizza!

12-07-2005, 01:30 AM	#896
Icarus4578 Deal with it. Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 12,548	It's been awhile since I've played this. Hmph. Real pinball is still fun!! __________________ Turn on the difference.

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11-16-2005, 11:03 PM	#887
Vicviper Hello handsome! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,081	Of course I read your review. My memory has been putting everything in short term lately. Can I borrow your CDX?

11-17-2005, 12:20 AM	#888
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	Not until you repay that $950 you borrowed! Or was it $9500? Yeah I think that was it.

11-17-2005, 11:18 PM	#889
Vicviper Hello handsome! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,081	oh crap. I don't have that kind of money just laying around...............hey wait a minute! I know I don't owe you anything because I wrote it down on toilet paper.

11-18-2005, 01:42 AM	#891
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	Even if I loved the game more than life itself, the Dreamcast's rating as an overall console probably would not change because its controllers would still suck ass, it would still have those completely useless VMUs, it would still have the lens of deafness, and it would still have a very high percentage of average games.

11-18-2005, 03:59 PM	#893
Risky Stop right there criminal scum! Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: World -1 Posts: 3,064	didn't even mention the best game for the dreamcast: Rez. oh how many euphoric night's i've spent playing that game under the influence. other than that, i think DC was a great system after it died, because there was a strong mod community with a lot of other great games that never made it stateside

12-06-2005, 08:07 PM	#894
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	Devil's Crush 8/10 TurboGrafx-16 Like all US NEC games, the box art is atrocious! Let me start off by saying that I pretty much hate all pinball games. Real pinball games, that is. When it comes to videogame pinball I am much more forgiving since you can do things in games that you can't in real life, like having things walk around on the board or explode! Called "Devil Crash" in Japan, Naxat has once agan given us a great video pinball game. They first brought us Alien Crush which was good but they forgot to program scrolling into the game, and it suffered as a result. Devil's Crush fixes any problems Alien may have had and adds a whole bunch o' other crap that nobody needs all purely for your enjoyment! The board is divided up into 3 screens. This is the middle one. You can turn that lady into a lizard if you piss her off enough. Graphics: 8/10 The graphics are crisp and clear. Demons look kick ass and the whole thing has a decidedly underworld look to it for some odd reason. If you are expecting the shiny-happy world of Flipnic, you're about to be surprised. Great color and satanic graphics add to the fun (you won't find Jesus forgiving anyone's sins in THIS game). The Sega Mega Drive version of this game known as Devil Crash MD/Dragon's Fury doesn't quite look as nice on the TV screen as this verion, despite the latter's increased resolution. A comparison between the graphics of the Genesis and TurboGrafx versions. The resolution of both playfields are the same, but the Genesis has extra resolution so more stuff on the right was added. The Genesis version tries to have a bit too much detail, making the TurboGrafx version end up looking cleaner and better overall. Sound: 8/10 Naxat really improved the music this time around. The main theme is simply fantastic, and the sub themes are all great as well. The sound effects are also great. The knight makes a serious groan of pain when you slam him in his nuts with your steel pinball. When you lose a ball, the skull laughs at how much you suck ass. When you lose your final ball he laughs even longer because he knows you just aren't man enough to do very well. Unlike the Genesis version, the music keeps playing while the voices are running, and the voices sound slightly cleaner here as well for some reason. A great audio package. Real pinball can't match this! But that's because real pinball is for giant douches. One of the bonus stages, destroy all of Tiamat's heads! Gameplay: 8/10 I like using my ball to squash little demons running rampant all over the board. You just can't do that in real pinball. Real pinball is retarded. Another thing this game does is give you bonus screens in which you try to accomplish a difficult objective. Unfortunately there aren't as many bonus stages as the Genesis version and they don't quite look as cool as that version, either. The game is easy enough to play. If you can't figure it out, then your mom deserves Hepatitus A right in her snatch. She should also have it on her anus and mouth just for good measure. Maybe in the left ear, too. If you are used to Metroid Prime Hunters Echos Pinball or whatever the hell it is called for the DS, know that you don't have to touch the screen in Devil's Crush to tilt the board. You simply press a button. The goal of the game is to max out the score. For a pinball game, this kicks ass! Another bonus stage. Destroy these losers! Bottom Line: Naxat is the best video pinball maker ever. NOBODY can match them. Nobody. Also, your mom smells really bad.

12-07-2005, 12:04 AM	#895
Vicviper Hello handsome! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,081	sweet ass review! I love Naxat pinball just as much as you do. It's hard to say which game is better this or Jaki Crush. I like both of them very much. Just like how your mom loves me more than she loves you. Not that that has anything to do with this review but....... Real pinball can be entertaining if you play on the right machine. But the problem is nobody carries good pinball games anymore. It's all stupid ass ones like The Simpsons or Home Improvement. WTF?? Gayness. What ever happened to machines like Elvira and Haunted House?

12-07-2005, 01:47 AM	#897
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	Devil's Crush is better than Jaki for sure. Jaki is #2! By the way Vic you are supposed to love The Simpsons pinball simply because it is the Simpsons and you must love everything Simpsons!

12-07-2005, 03:55 AM	#898
ALttP Atomic Betty fanboy Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 349	I like Joe's reviews. We Love Katamari's review helped me know more crap about the game. o.o Joe, what do you think of mine? o.o

12-07-2005, 01:28 PM	#899
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,144	They're good, though you seem to be pretty generous with your scores.

12-07-2005, 02:46 PM	#900
ALttP Atomic Betty fanboy Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 349	Well, most of the reviews I've put up are from my top list, so...