Joe Redifer's Super-Awesome Reviews!!!! - Page 39

Paper exe · 06-11-2005, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Redifer

Just seeing how closely he (and others) read my reviews.

Huh!?! Why do you want to test me? Did I say something that made you think that way or you just wanted to say something that have nothing to do with the review and the "hill" word, that I said was just on top of your mind?

Reality · 06-11-2005, 12:43 PM

A off topic question. What do you use to capture movies and screens Joe? You able to do any decent DVR with it?

Joe Redifer · 06-11-2005, 07:08 PM

I use a Sony DVMC-DA1 to convert the signal to DV and I capture with Final Cut Pro.

Reality · 06-11-2005, 09:50 PM

So it connects to your computer through Firewire then? I'm going to have to get me one of these.

Joe Redifer · 06-12-2005, 12:47 AM

Correct. Unfortunately I can only use S-video or composite, not component.

Joe Redifer · 06-29-2005, 11:05 PM

Otsomatsu
4/10
Sega Genesis/Mega Drive

I didn't have access to the box, so you get the title screen instead!
Don't like it? Then you can suck it, freak!

First of all, you should know that this game was released ONLY in Japan. Sega is racist and hates other countries. Even when we threatened to drop a 3rd A-bomb on them, they still wouldn't release the game here. Since we Americans hate going to war, we decided against the A-bomb. That only left importing available. When I saw this game for rent at my local game store, it was labeled as "Mr. Hatsumatsu". That's a fairly close translation from kids who only made $4.00 an hour. So I rented it because I loved renting import games for my fabulous Sega Genesis, which was physically (not electronically) modified to play import carts. Yay me!

Many of the characters are designed to resemble Nintendo frontman Shigeru Miyamoto. The woman in the above pic
has been found to be irrelevant not only to this review, but to the rest of the world and all existence itself as well.

Graphics: 5/10
The graphics are fairly decent for an early (first-gen... 1988) Mega Drive game. There is tons of muti-layered parallax scrolling. The Genesis was POWERFUL! But there wasn't a lot of variety. I am surprised they weren't able to cram a little more into the 2 MEGA power of this cartridge. That's twice the mega power of Alex Kidd in Miracle World for the Sega Master System, and over 4 times the mega power of most NES games. Otherwise the graphics get old quick, especially after meandering through a dozen or so stages, most of which look the same.

You can buy crap like an octopus or ointment for herpes from the
little girl at the random shops in the game. And who in their right
mind WOULDN'T want some fish bones?? Useful AND yummy!

Sound: 3/10
There is definitely nothing special at all about the sound. No voice or standout sound effects (except for some weird noises some enemies make when they get hit) The music is decent with a couple of catchy tunes that you will quickly forget. Heck, the game is also entirely in mono. This game was probably made before Sega realized that they made the Mega Drive capable of true stereo sound. Those crazy Sega people!

Oh noes! The evil lord has turned Shiggy into a bunch of crabs!

Gameplay: 4/10
Well it's set up like a typical platformer, and for the most part it is, except that if you fall through a hole or go through a door you can find yourself back at a stage you've already completed. The whole game feels like one giant loop without any real progress ever (or rarely) taking place. You use a slingshot to shoot down the evil baddies. The game takes place in Japan, I am gathering. There are shops where you can buy stuff that I haven't really figured out yet since it is all in Japanese and Yuzo wasn't around to translate for me (that selfish bastard). But there are a few useful items that allow you to "fly" or do other retarded things nobody cares about. The control feels pretty solid, surpisingly. However I'm not sure what the point of the game is. You just keep going and going and going.

This enemy must be based off of Tomonobu Itagaki. Notice the oversized
mouth to shoot off about how great he is as well as the god hand. And
the gullible player is buying every word of it hook, line and sinker!

Wrap up:
Blah! It is worth the $1 it costs to rent this game at your local dedicated videogame store. If you can't find this game for rent, then you are a horrible human being. But somehow, just somehow, I think that your life will manage to go on.

Icarus4578 · 06-30-2005, 10:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Redifer

I didn't have access to the box...

Nor the actual cart?

C'mon Joe, did you actually purchase this turd? Or are you playing it on emulation? (Yup, I've played this game. It truly does SUCK.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Redifer

The Genesis was POWERFUL!

Was it ever! People these days with their blu-ray discs, their 128-bits and their 3D mumbo jumbo know nothing about such power as BLAST PROCESSING or CD/32-BIT ADD-ONS. W000000T!

Joe Redifer · 06-30-2005, 07:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Icarus4578

Nor the actual cart?

C'mon Joe, did you actually purchase this turd? Or are you playing it on emulation?

If you read the review you'd know how I played it. Plus that was a long time ago PLUS rental carts usually have a giant sticker with a number taped on them PLUS I didn't have a scanner or a computer all those years ago. The game was replayed on emulation. The box was yellow. Did you know that?

Vicviper · 06-30-2005, 10:17 PM

What the hell made you review this game? Were you looking through your catalogued list of "rented games"? All though this review was very enjoyable to read we(I) want you to review a game that atleast some of us have heard of. Say Samba de Amigo or Columns per say.

Paper exe · 07-01-2005, 12:15 AM

I don't get the point?
He already reviewed Samba de Amigo.

Joe Redifer · 07-01-2005, 01:14 AM

I already reviewed Samba De Amigo right after I gave it back to you.

I reviewed this game because it is obscure. Did you know that there were exactly 786 games released for the NES in the US? Did you know that statement has nothing to do with anything?

Icarus4578 · 07-01-2005, 09:16 AM

Know that the box was yellow? Nope, I played it on the Dreamcast. BTW, nowheres around where I live did they allow people to rent imports. You could buy imports but not rent them. Lucky you. ....Or maybe not in this particular case.

Vicviper, better yet, how about Ys Book I & II? I betcha Joe would give it a great score, just like it deserves.

Reko8 · 07-01-2005, 04:39 PM

W00t I love your reviews Joe =0

The mega man 2 review was awesome!

If there's something I want to look up on I always look on companies reviews and I always want a good person's review quickly. So I look at your thread.

That's how I decided if I wanted to buy WarioWare Touched or Feel the Magic XY/XX and you made do the right decision

Vicviper · 07-01-2005, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joe Redifer

I already reviewed Samba De Amigo right after I gave it back to you.

Where the hill was I? How come my buzzer didn't go off telling me you had completed another review? Oh to hill with this damn buzzer!
BTW, good review of Samba. You hit da nail on da head with this review. It is a very enjoyabe game and yet so easy to put down when you want to.
Anyways Ys book 1&2 would be great as I remember playing that game from beginning to finish with Joe. Except for the part where you leveled up our charachter a bit.

Joe Redifer · 07-04-2005, 11:34 PM

Thunder Force AC
8/10
Arcade

Oh hellz yeah! Insert a coin, you fool! Now play!

When Thunderforce III came out for the Mega Drive in Japan, it was an immediate success. Technosoft was going to bring this out in the US themselves, but they did not have the resources that they thought they did. So while cool people like me were busy enjoying the living hell out of Thunder Force III, most US players were sitting there bored with Last Battle. Eventually, Hot-B released the game in the US, loooong after the Japanese version was available. The only changes from the two versions was a black and white instruction book for the US version. I laughed at the US players because I felt superior and elite since I had (and still have) the import. It really made me a better human being. Better than you, wouldn't you say? That's right. Anyway Technosoft released an arcade version of Thunder Force III, which is what is being reviewed here. It ran on the Thunder Force III engine (which ran at 224 horsepower and preferred synthetic). The arcade was only released in Japan, but it was translated into Thunder Spirits on the SNES which introduced a lot of slowdown since that machine could not handle intense games like this. There is also a perfect arcade port on the Saturn in Thunder Force Gold Pack 2.

6 stages from Thunder Force 3 are here in RGB glory!

Graphics: 7/10
On the Genesis, the graphics were freakin' awesome! We got to see line scrolling for the first time and we were all stoked! We didn't know what to do with ourselves. Who is "we"? The ENTIRE PLANET, of course! The ending also had some real scaling in it and again there were a few days where the entire populace just sat there, stunned in disbelief. The colors were great and so was the scrolling, detail, and all that other crap. Those graphics are preserved perfectly in the arcade. But for an arcade game, even back in that day, the graphics weren't as good as most other games (except for Midway games, which always had crappy graphics). The new stage looks pretty neat, but nothing mindblowing, and I actually prefered Thunder Force 2's graphics of the stages from that game which are included here. They moved the HUD from the top of the screen to the bottom, probably so they could tell which version of the game they were looking at immediately, since the graphics were the same as the Genesis, barring a few tweaks here and there. Not disappointing, but not a real arcade upgrade.

The new, exclusive stage has awesome music, even better than
the music from Tetris on the Gameboy, if you can believe that.

Sound: 8/10
For the Thunder Force 3 stages, the music was ported straight over from the Genesis version and sounds the same, with the exception of improved percussion sounds. Suffice it to say, it rocks! The music from the Thunder Force 2 stage does not sound as good as the real Thunder Force 2. The new stage has incredible music which, again, set the world on fire with its sheer awesomeness. It took several years to fully put out the blaze. Reforestation continues to this day. As a package, the music is quite superb, just like you'd expect from Technosoft. As for the sound effects, most are the same as they were in the Genesis (though lots of stereo effects were removed and turned into mono), but explosions sound much better and there is A LOT more voice. Each stage is announced along with its name, you are asked if you want to continue, the copyright date of the game is spoken to you, and lots more. The voice is the same barely understandable Japanese bitch-whore that Technosoft loves to use in most of their games. It doesn't sound as scratchy as Thunder Force 3 or 4, and it doesn't stop the music like Thunder Force 2. Overall a great sound package.

This stage took two stages from Thunder Force 2 and combined
them into one stage, but you get to use Thunder Force 3 weapons!

Gameplay: 8/10
Hey, it's Thunder Force, it's gotta be awesome! This game is still fairly easy (unless you happen to lose all of your weapons), but it is definitely the thrill ride of the summer! This game is fun to play, and to play the game is to have fun. What more is there to say? It's a fast paced side-scrolling shooter. Hmmm... what else? Nothing! It's Thunder Force, it controls well, you can choose the speed of your ship, you can input your name on a high score list (and it saves it forever and ever on the Saturn version), you can continue, you can die, you can choose not to play it at all, or you can even watch someone else play it, believe it or not! It's Thunder Force! I enjoy playing this game even more than I enjoy having sex with your mom. Though your mom is pretty good, though she's not very tight.

The awesome Orn Base from Thunder Force 3 is back, along
with the accompanying music which is fantastic!

Wrap Up:
This is a great game! I recommend the Saturn version. Also, why does Technosoft sometimes spell their own company name as "Tecnosoft"? They are probably the most Engrish-infruenced company ever, as seen by any text that happens to appear in their games. This game is worth burning in hill for!

06-11-2005, 12:43 PM	#572
Reality Sin and Punishment Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 14,662	A off topic question. What do you use to capture movies and screens Joe? You able to do any decent DVR with it? __________________ I get why people talk about you when you're gone

06-11-2005, 09:50 PM	#574
Reality Sin and Punishment Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Ohio Posts: 14,662	So it connects to your computer through Firewire then? I'm going to have to get me one of these. __________________ I get why people talk about you when you're gone

07-01-2005, 09:16 AM	#582
Icarus4578 Deal with it. Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 12,548	Know that the box was yellow? Nope, I played it on the Dreamcast. BTW, nowheres around where I live did they allow people to rent imports. You could buy imports but not rent them. Lucky you. ....Or maybe not in this particular case. Vicviper, better yet, how about Ys Book I & II? I betcha Joe would give it a great score, just like it deserves. __________________ Turn on the difference.

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06-11-2005, 07:08 PM	#573
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,147	I use a Sony DVMC-DA1 to convert the signal to DV and I capture with Final Cut Pro.

06-12-2005, 12:47 AM	#575
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,147	Correct. Unfortunately I can only use S-video or composite, not component.

06-29-2005, 11:05 PM	#576
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,147	Otsomatsu 4/10 Sega Genesis/Mega Drive I didn't have access to the box, so you get the title screen instead! Don't like it? Then you can suck it, freak! First of all, you should know that this game was released ONLY in Japan. Sega is racist and hates other countries. Even when we threatened to drop a 3rd A-bomb on them, they still wouldn't release the game here. Since we Americans hate going to war, we decided against the A-bomb. That only left importing available. When I saw this game for rent at my local game store, it was labeled as "Mr. Hatsumatsu". That's a fairly close translation from kids who only made $4.00 an hour. So I rented it because I loved renting import games for my fabulous Sega Genesis, which was physically (not electronically) modified to play import carts. Yay me! Many of the characters are designed to resemble Nintendo frontman Shigeru Miyamoto. The woman in the above pic has been found to be irrelevant not only to this review, but to the rest of the world and all existence itself as well. Graphics: 5/10 The graphics are fairly decent for an early (first-gen... 1988) Mega Drive game. There is tons of muti-layered parallax scrolling. The Genesis was POWERFUL! But there wasn't a lot of variety. I am surprised they weren't able to cram a little more into the 2 MEGA power of this cartridge. That's twice the mega power of Alex Kidd in Miracle World for the Sega Master System, and over 4 times the mega power of most NES games. Otherwise the graphics get old quick, especially after meandering through a dozen or so stages, most of which look the same. You can buy crap like an octopus or ointment for herpes from the little girl at the random shops in the game. And who in their right mind WOULDN'T want some fish bones?? Useful AND yummy! Sound: 3/10 There is definitely nothing special at all about the sound. No voice or standout sound effects (except for some weird noises some enemies make when they get hit) The music is decent with a couple of catchy tunes that you will quickly forget. Heck, the game is also entirely in mono. This game was probably made before Sega realized that they made the Mega Drive capable of true stereo sound. Those crazy Sega people! Oh noes! The evil lord has turned Shiggy into a bunch of crabs! Gameplay: 4/10 Well it's set up like a typical platformer, and for the most part it is, except that if you fall through a hole or go through a door you can find yourself back at a stage you've already completed. The whole game feels like one giant loop without any real progress ever (or rarely) taking place. You use a slingshot to shoot down the evil baddies. The game takes place in Japan, I am gathering. There are shops where you can buy stuff that I haven't really figured out yet since it is all in Japanese and Yuzo wasn't around to translate for me (that selfish bastard). But there are a few useful items that allow you to "fly" or do other retarded things nobody cares about. The control feels pretty solid, surpisingly. However I'm not sure what the point of the game is. You just keep going and going and going. This enemy must be based off of Tomonobu Itagaki. Notice the oversized mouth to shoot off about how great he is as well as the god hand. And the gullible player is buying every word of it hook, line and sinker! Wrap up: Blah! It is worth the $1 it costs to rent this game at your local dedicated videogame store. If you can't find this game for rent, then you are a horrible human being. But somehow, just somehow, I think that your life will manage to go on.

06-30-2005, 10:17 PM	#579
Vicviper Hello handsome! Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Denver, CO Posts: 3,081	What the hell made you review this game? Were you looking through your catalogued list of "rented games"? All though this review was very enjoyable to read we(I) want you to review a game that atleast some of us have heard of. Say Samba de Amigo or Columns per say.

07-01-2005, 12:15 AM	#580
Paper exe Pwnd Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 9,118	I don't get the point? He already reviewed Samba de Amigo.

07-01-2005, 01:14 AM	#581
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,147	I already reviewed Samba De Amigo right after I gave it back to you. I reviewed this game because it is obscure. Did you know that there were exactly 786 games released for the NES in the US? Did you know that statement has nothing to do with anything?

07-01-2005, 04:39 PM	#583
Reko8 Registered User Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: MA, Usa Posts: 3,076	W00t I love your reviews Joe =0 The mega man 2 review was awesome! If there's something I want to look up on I always look on companies reviews and I always want a good person's review quickly. So I look at your thread. That's how I decided if I wanted to buy WarioWare Touched or Feel the Magic XY/XX and you made do the right decision

07-04-2005, 11:34 PM	#585
Joe Redifer Olé! Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Denver, Colorado Posts: 20,147	Thunder Force AC 8/10 Arcade Oh hellz yeah! Insert a coin, you fool! Now play! When Thunderforce III came out for the Mega Drive in Japan, it was an immediate success. Technosoft was going to bring this out in the US themselves, but they did not have the resources that they thought they did. So while cool people like me were busy enjoying the living hell out of Thunder Force III, most US players were sitting there bored with Last Battle. Eventually, Hot-B released the game in the US, loooong after the Japanese version was available. The only changes from the two versions was a black and white instruction book for the US version. I laughed at the US players because I felt superior and elite since I had (and still have) the import. It really made me a better human being. Better than you, wouldn't you say? That's right. Anyway Technosoft released an arcade version of Thunder Force III, which is what is being reviewed here. It ran on the Thunder Force III engine (which ran at 224 horsepower and preferred synthetic). The arcade was only released in Japan, but it was translated into Thunder Spirits on the SNES which introduced a lot of slowdown since that machine could not handle intense games like this. There is also a perfect arcade port on the Saturn in Thunder Force Gold Pack 2. 6 stages from Thunder Force 3 are here in RGB glory! Graphics: 7/10 On the Genesis, the graphics were freakin' awesome! We got to see line scrolling for the first time and we were all stoked! We didn't know what to do with ourselves. Who is "we"? The ENTIRE PLANET, of course! The ending also had some real scaling in it and again there were a few days where the entire populace just sat there, stunned in disbelief. The colors were great and so was the scrolling, detail, and all that other crap. Those graphics are preserved perfectly in the arcade. But for an arcade game, even back in that day, the graphics weren't as good as most other games (except for Midway games, which always had crappy graphics). The new stage looks pretty neat, but nothing mindblowing, and I actually prefered Thunder Force 2's graphics of the stages from that game which are included here. They moved the HUD from the top of the screen to the bottom, probably so they could tell which version of the game they were looking at immediately, since the graphics were the same as the Genesis, barring a few tweaks here and there. Not disappointing, but not a real arcade upgrade. The new, exclusive stage has awesome music, even better than the music from Tetris on the Gameboy, if you can believe that. Sound: 8/10 For the Thunder Force 3 stages, the music was ported straight over from the Genesis version and sounds the same, with the exception of improved percussion sounds. Suffice it to say, it rocks! The music from the Thunder Force 2 stage does not sound as good as the real Thunder Force 2. The new stage has incredible music which, again, set the world on fire with its sheer awesomeness. It took several years to fully put out the blaze. Reforestation continues to this day. As a package, the music is quite superb, just like you'd expect from Technosoft. As for the sound effects, most are the same as they were in the Genesis (though lots of stereo effects were removed and turned into mono), but explosions sound much better and there is A LOT more voice. Each stage is announced along with its name, you are asked if you want to continue, the copyright date of the game is spoken to you, and lots more. The voice is the same barely understandable Japanese bitch-whore that Technosoft loves to use in most of their games. It doesn't sound as scratchy as Thunder Force 3 or 4, and it doesn't stop the music like Thunder Force 2. Overall a great sound package. This stage took two stages from Thunder Force 2 and combined them into one stage, but you get to use Thunder Force 3 weapons! Gameplay: 8/10 Hey, it's Thunder Force, it's gotta be awesome! This game is still fairly easy (unless you happen to lose all of your weapons), but it is definitely the thrill ride of the summer! This game is fun to play, and to play the game is to have fun. What more is there to say? It's a fast paced side-scrolling shooter. Hmmm... what else? Nothing! It's Thunder Force, it controls well, you can choose the speed of your ship, you can input your name on a high score list (and it saves it forever and ever on the Saturn version), you can continue, you can die, you can choose not to play it at all, or you can even watch someone else play it, believe it or not! It's Thunder Force! I enjoy playing this game even more than I enjoy having sex with your mom. Though your mom is pretty good, though she's not very tight. The awesome Orn Base from Thunder Force 3 is back, along with the accompanying music which is fantastic! Wrap Up: This is a great game! I recommend the Saturn version. Also, why does Technosoft sometimes spell their own company name as "Tecnosoft"? They are probably the most Engrish-infruenced company ever, as seen by any text that happens to appear in their games. This game is worth burning in hill for!