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Old 02-28-2008, 08:35 PM   #1426
Seraph
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Joe do you happen to have Lords of Thunder for TG-16CD or Sega CD?

I'm thinking about getting it for Wii and wanted to know how it stacked up against other shootem ups.
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Old 02-28-2008, 08:40 PM   #1427
Joe Redifer
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Yup. It is awesome. The TurboGrafx is the slightly better version.

Click here to read my comparison of the two versions.
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Old 02-28-2008, 08:47 PM   #1428
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Man awesome, that comparison you did is really well put together. I think I'll get it tonight.
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Old 03-02-2008, 05:12 AM   #1429
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Web Browsers for Video Game Consoles
0/0
Various Systems

As we all know, it is simply not worth surfing the internet unless you are doing it from a videogame console. Computers like Macs and PCs just aren't robust enough for the internet whereas consoles excel. So I figured I'd do something a little different this time around and compare the web browsers for the various consoles that have them legitimately. By that I mean provided officially, not hackware or anything lame like that. To the best of my knowledge, the only consoles which have web browsers are the Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo Wii and the Sony Playstation 3. Devices like the CD-i, WebTV and crap like that do NOT count! Now let's compare how they all do!


The Japanese Dreamcast Broadband Passport allows more options
when you hit the L or R button, or S1 and S2 on the keyboard.



The old Gamefan website viewed on the Sega Saturn Netlink.

General Info and Features
Just some of the basic features, cookies, bookmarks, speed and crap like that.

Sega Saturn:
The Saturn browser comes with the Netlink modem and can only be used via dial-up. If you didn't already have your own ISP, you could sign up with Concentric. I think they went out of business or have merged with someone else since this came out. The Saturn browser is called Planet Web and you can use a keyboard and mouse or a standard controller. Cookies are not allowed, but bookmarks and e-mail addresses can be saved to the Saturn internal back-up RAM. Obviously the Saturn Netlink is the slowest of all browsers.

Sega Dreamcast:
There are many different browsers for the Dreamcast. The ones released in the US are all Planet Web. They are upgrades to the Saturn Netlink version. They also can be used with a mouse and keyboard, and the Dreamcast keyboard is excellent. Sites tend to load very slowly and a broadband version of the browser was only released in Europe. Even that version is pretty slow. In Japan they had the the Broadband Passport. This is an excellent browser, all things considered, and is much faster than Planet Web and allows sites to store cookies on the VMU. E-mail is also supported on all browsers.

Nintendo Wii:
The Wii uses the much-hated Opera browser. However the browser is actually decent here, and isn't tremendously similar to the computer version. Broadband is obviously supported and dial-up is not. Good! Using a keyboard is absolutely out of the question. Nintendo wants you to put in all text and URLs via the painful Wii Remote method. It is the only browser which does not allow keyboard control. I assume the browser allows sites to place cookies, and loading speed is fairly quick. It's not a bad browser, but even simple tasks like scrolling up and down a page are made a pain in the ass simply because of the Wii Remote method of control. This browser is also costs money. I have no idea why, as it is worth none. It used to be free, but then Nintendo decided that they hate you. Fortunately I was able to get it while it was free.

Sony Playstation 3:
The PS3 browser works well, but there are many options that you might want to check out to make sure it is performing and displaying the best it can for your setup. It defaults to a small 4:3 box, and that's pretty lame. Any USB keyboard is supported. Obviously it can save bookmarks and cookies because the PS3 is totally next-gen and is built for futuristic technologies like that. It is even faster than the Wii browser, but the PS3 is so much more way powerful than the Wii that this shouldn't be surprising. The Cell processor speeds up the internet and gives you full power in a 3D netherworld! Only the PS3 can satisfy. However, I'm not biased.


The PS3 can have multiple windows open at the same time.
If you press (I think) L3 (left analog stick) the windows
will shrink so you can see them all and pick one, just like
Mac OS X does it, only not quite as cool.


Page Accuracy
How well does each browser represent the website on the TV screen? Does it mangle it completely? Does it look as it should?

Sega Saturn:
It was pretty close for it's time, especially since the normal computer resolution back then was 640x480, and the Saturn web browser actually runs at the same resolution. Todays web pages are highly unlikely to even load into anything tangible at all.

Sega Dreamcast:
It's pretty far off from what the pages should look like, especially since most web sites are much larger than the 640x480 limits of this browser. Fonts are often too big as well... in fact they seem to be always the same size.

Nintendo Wii:
Pretty close. You can have it display in a widescreen mode if you like which helps sites have a little bit of breathing room.

Sony Playstation 3:
You have to go into the options to tell it to fill your entire screen, but most sites look exactly as they should. Unfortunately if you are surfing on a 1920x1080 TV, some of the text may seem a bit too small and the sites themselves may be too small to fill the screen. The PS3 browser has a cool anti-flickering filter for 480i and 1080i TVs.


My Chrono Trigger review being displayed on the Wii. Yay.

the-magicbox.com
Can the browser read and post on the forums here on this fine site?

Sega Saturn:
Uh, no. Probably not. I think it would probably die trying.

Sega Dreamcast:
The Planet Web browsers can read the forums, but they will look ugly. Every time I try to post on the forum or even log in, the browser usually crashes. However the Japanese Broadband Passport (which is mostly in English anyway) indeed lets you read and post on the forums. I have done so before and everyone was amazed and sent me free cash for being so awesome.

Nintendo Wii:
Yup, the forums look pretty good and posting is easy... if you can deal with the shit-tastic Wii Remote. Since Nintendo hates you and your entire family and wants to see them in pain, keyboards aren't supported and therefore your posts will likely be very short. So much hate within Nintendo and their products.

Sony Playstation 3:
Oh hells yeah! The Sony Playstation 3 was built for the Magicbox. You can use a keyboard and post stuff like crazy! It is super way-powerful and invincible. Totally incredible!!


Typing an e-mail with the control pad on the Saturn Netlink.


The Magicbox Forums main page displayed on the Dreamcast Broadband Passport.


The Wii playing an awesome Youtube video.

Youtube?
Can the browser play videos hosted on the popular web site called "Youtube"?

Sega Saturn:
Not a chance.

Sega Dreamcast:
Nope. Broadband Passport complains about plug-ins or something like that.

Nintendo Wii:
Yep! Does it fairly decently as well.

Sony Playstation 3:
Indeedy-do! Upscales Youtube videos to HDTV resolutions... but of course they still look like Youtube videos. Upscaling does not add detail. Duh.


The Playstation 3 displaying it's powerful graphic hardware by playing back a video from Youtube. Amazing!

Porn Ability
The internet is completely useless without porn. So how do these browsers stack up in your endless search for digital poontang?

Sega Saturn:
The Saturn is easily able to find and display much porn, however when you are ogling the porn on your screen, the colors flicker back and forth like some sort of Amiga HAM (Hold and Modify) mode. It makes the porn a little less thrilling and a bit annoying, but only a little. The Saturn enjoys displaying porn with it's graphics chipset, and it tries it's hardest. It would rather display porn than, say, Sonic the Hedgehog. That's why a true Sonic game never appeared on the system.


Porn on the Saturn Netlink, censored for your protection.

Sega Dreamcast:
All of the Dreamcast browsers are able to display porn, and the DC loves doing it. You can hook it up with a VGA cable and get glorious VGA porn so you can see that extra little bit of detail in the nooks and crannies. If you have the proper equipment you can even view the porn in 480p on your HDTV. Fantastic!


The Dreamcast's window is a little too small for most porn.

Nintendo Wii:
You'd think that Nintendo would block porn sites from being accessed on their console, but surprisingly they don't! The Wii will display all the porn you can find, and it will load it super-fast as well. I am thinking that maybe Nintendo designed the Wii to be a porn system. The Wii does porn very, very well. 16:9 and 480p support make sure your Wii porn looks pretty damn good.


Since the Wii's resolution isn't any higher than the Dreamcast's, porn can be compromised.

Sony Playstation 3:
Wow! Sony sure knows porn! The PS3 browser displays porn in incredible HDTV resolutions so you can even see her kidneys when you "look inside"! Since the resolution is so high, some pics may seem too small. You can click the R3 button (the right analog stick) to resize the image in most cases. The images draw really fast and you can even save them to the PS3 hard drive to e-mail to friends or use as your PS3 wallpaper! They should call the system the Pornstation 3.


Porn in HD! You might have to look long and hard to find something that will fill the high-res screen.



Overall Assessments
Ya know, surfing the web on a game console really sucks!
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Old 03-02-2008, 05:58 AM   #1430
Seraph
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I never thought I'd see a review like this. It made me laugh.

I remember the good old days of using my Web 2.0 Disc that came with my used Dreamcast. All so I could lay in bed and surf the internet.

I wonder just how brain dead Nintendo is for charging for their browser now. I'd like to see the actual sales numbers for that hot item. To me it would be more worthwhile shipping the console with it pre-installed rather than hoping somebody will accedently click buy in the Wii Shop. Youtube is the Wii browsers one legitement use, and is actually pretty nice.

Wii's Browser does support keyboards now by the way. They added it October 10th last year.
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Old 03-02-2008, 06:21 AM   #1431
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Wow, very interesting comparisons there, Joe. I need to take some time and figure out the PS3's web browser interface so's I can view those fantastic porn images.

Back in the Saturn days when computers were still hellaciously expensive, I used the Planet Web browser as my primary browser. Also organized a game convention, co-wrote some press releases with Planet Web, and I can be seen IRC chatting on the back of the 3.0 Browser/Virtual On/Sega Rally box. I have to tell everyone that at any and all opportunities.

BTW, the Planet Web browsers for Saturn and DC support IRC (in a janky fashion), which the Wii and PS3 browsers probably don't.
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Old 03-02-2008, 06:43 AM   #1432
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Seraph View Post
Wii's Browser does support keyboards now by the way. They added it October 10th last year.
It must be very limited support (likely for a limited amount of models), because I tried it and all I could get to happen is the CAPS LOCK light to come on and off when I pressed the button. Typing in any field would not work.
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:14 AM   #1433
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I've only ever used Planet Web on the DC. Looking back I wonder why I ever tried as it was pretty painful to use. 60% of that pain was because of my crappy dialup connection at the time. Constantly falling off and needing 2-5 minutes to log back in. ugh.
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Old 03-02-2008, 01:53 PM   #1434
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Time to store porn on my Ps3. Not only would it look awesomer, but nobody would find it there. Grills is definitely the last place anybody would look.
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Old 03-02-2008, 02:55 PM   #1435
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Redifer View Post
It must be very limited support (likely for a limited amount of models), because I tried it and all I could get to happen is the CAPS LOCK light to come on and off when I pressed the button. Typing in any field would not work.
See if that same keyboard will work with Wii message board. Test it out by adding me as a Wii friend and try to send me a message.

If it works in the Wii message board, you might still have to manually download the update to the internet channel. Better do it quick before Nintendo charges $10 to update!!
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Old 03-02-2008, 04:04 PM   #1436
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I thought it only supported a certain brand, I forget which.
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Old 03-02-2008, 04:07 PM   #1437
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That might be. Mines worked with my Saitek, an old Gateway model and a Microsoft keyboard.

If the resolution didnt suck balls, I would invest in a wireless keyboard/mouse setup. It would be alot more comfortable browsing the forums from my couch.
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Old 03-02-2008, 04:27 PM   #1438
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mmm I be watching porn while holding my WIIIII
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Old 03-19-2008, 03:38 AM   #1439
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Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
8/10
Nintendo DS


This is what the box looks like.

How do I write a review for a game that I've basically reviewed three times already? Well let me start off by saying that the Ace Attorney games are like books, except they aren't boring. You wouldn't say that all books are the same just because they're all books, would you? Well, maybe I would. But in other words, it's about the characters and the story in the Ace Attorney games even if the gameplay is similar. This installment sets up a new cast of characters and is also the first one programmed specifically for the DS (the others were GameBoy Advance ports), so let's check this shiz out, yo! Word.


Here is Apollo Justice. He wears a vest. Who wears a vest anymore?

Story: 8/10
There are four cases in this game taking place 7 years or so after the final Phoenix Wright chapter, and most of them have something to do with the overall "big picture" which you wrap up at the end. I like that. The writing is pretty good for the most part, though sometimes I will present evidence in court that proves one thing or another, everyone agrees and then the judge and prosecutor start talking about the same thing again as if I never proved it in the first place. Bizarre. The character of Apollo Justice himself is pretty much exactly like Phoenix Wright was. Phoenix makes a return in this game as well -- he plays the part called "asshole". Guns are used in this game since guns are so cool, but this game obviously doesn't take place in the US since guns are illegal in the game and there is no jury in the courts (yet). One giant plus about this game is that there are fewer "annoying" characters compared to past games.


Your female companion Trucy is a near-exact clone of Maya from the past
games. The only things different about her are her looks and her vocation.


Graphics: 8/10
The graphics kind of seem the same at first, but in fact they have been improved in many areas. There are more shades and hues onscreen simultaneously now as well as more animation. The difference in graphics is really made apparent when you eventually see some retro scenes which use the graphics backgrounds from the older games. There are also polygons, and as we all know the DS can only do UGLY polygons, but they do their job and you don't have to look at them often. There are also some very primitive FMV scenes here and there. Unfortunately you cannot unlock cool artwork by completing cases in this game like you could in previous ones.


Finally, a game with REAL English in it!

Sound: 8/10
This one sounds similar to the others, but some of the new tunes sound fuller to take more advantage of the DS sound chip. New prosecutor Kalvier has a rockin' tune complete with Capcom's trademark fake guitars. Another Japanese-esque tune which plays in front of the mob house has parts that remind me of Wonder Boy 3/Dragon's Curse (that's a good thing, by the way). At one point I thought I had gained a device which would let me uncover a sound test once the game was complete. Alas, no such luck. I want a sound test!


This is what the Perceive Mode looks like, my friend. You look around on
the bottom screen for any peculiar twitches when certain words are said.


Gameplay: 8/10
Extremely similar to all of the Phoenix Wright games, but remember the final case from the first game? It had 3D stuff and things to do with the touch screen like fingerprinting. All of this returns, with plenty of new stuff to do with the touch screen. It really does enhance the gameplay. New to this game is the "Perceive" mode, where you focus in on witnesses as they speak and look for fidgeting to see if they are lying their asses off. This is pretty fun and it is less frustrating than the Psyche Locks from the past two games since it doesn't penalize you for errors. However, you'll be in Psyche Lock hell in the final chapter, unfortunately. You'll also travel back and forth through time, taking evidence with you each way (and you can show evidence you find in the future to people in the past). Is that a spoiler? Not really. Weird, but still cool.


Finally, a game that makes use of the Zapf Dingbats (or similar) font!

Wrap up:
I really don't know why they decided that they needed a new lead character as I feel it was completely unnecessary, but the game doesn't suffer as a result. If you liked the previous games, you'll like this one.

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Old 03-19-2008, 08:45 AM   #1440
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"secret of your panties" awesome.
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