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Old 01-05-2005, 01:45 AM   #301
Chrono081
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Crap, thats a whole lot of altered beast. Hey Joe, you should review a Samurai Shodown game sometime...that would be coooool.

EDIT: I just noticed this is the 300th reply on this tread, go Joe.
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Old 01-05-2005, 02:47 AM   #302
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There have been other great pack-ins with other systems, like Sonic for the Genesis, but I don't count those since they weren't packed in at the system's launch. I'm also not sure if I should count Streets of Rage, Golden Axe, Columns, Revenge of Shinobi and Sol Feace for the Sega CD.

Samurai Shodown... maybe. We'll see.
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Old 01-05-2005, 02:57 AM   #303
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Have you gotten a perfect 96 in SMW Joe?
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Old 01-05-2005, 03:29 AM   #304
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No I do not believe that I have. This game always brings you back trying to get EVERYTHING!
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Old 01-05-2005, 03:38 AM   #305
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I remember getting the perfect 96 once in Super Mario World. My data got accidentally erased and I attempted to do it again, but couldn?t find that last one. It kind of bugged me that I couldn?t find it. I used to like completing games and collecting everything when I was young but now I don't really care as much as I used to.

I got kind of in the mood to play SMW again.
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Old 01-07-2005, 05:01 AM   #306
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Toilet Kids
1/10
PC Engine / TurboGrafx-16


How many poo references can you find in the box art?

Apparently the Japanese really, really, really love their poop. Not only did the game Kato & Ken (called "J.J. and Jeff" in the US) have copious amounts of the big greasy which was mostly edited out in the US version, but they decided to base an entire game in the world of a toilet for the PC Engine. Hence we have Toilet Kids, and boy are we ever lucky! A little kid gets up in the middle of the night to crank out the chocolate soft-serve when his toilet suddenly basts him with water, sending him flying high into the air and ultimately landing in the toilet, which sends him to Toilet World. Quite obviously this game will be a shooter since it is based on toilets, and you get a regular shot, a ground shot as well as a charge shot! You must battle your way through 4 tough levels based on the ol' hangin' mud. Hooray for humanity!


Michael Jackson approves of this game.

Graphics: 2/10
You've got basic, simplistic graphics here. Not basic and simple in a Super Mario World or Super Air Zonk sort of way, but in a quite boring way instead. The designers went all out to come up with creatures to fight you, all of which heave a havana at you in some form or another. Much of the enemy fire may not look like brown missles, but believe me it is! Some of the creatures struggle and shake really bad before they release the hounds in your direction, indicating that even in Toilet World there is constipation. Then there are the bears who reach behind themselves and wiggle their arm around back there for a second before horking a loaf. Classic stuff if you love toilet humor like PC Engine owners apparently do.


This game blows the o-ring.

Sound: 2/10
The music is completely unmemorable and simple. There are a few voices in the game that occur when you get or use a special powerup. Nothing impressive at all. I thought I'd be hearing tons and tons of fart sound effects in this game, but no such luck.


Ahh, the great smell of the outdoors!

Gameplay: 1/10
It's a shooter. A vertically scrolling shooter in Toilet World. And it sucks pretty damned badly! There are only 4 short levels, none of which look like the inner workings of a toilet. Instead you get a desert, some woods, and an underwater sea level. Two players can join in the agony.... misery loves company so you might as well play with a friend. The game is actually pretty hard because there is so many little bits of brownie flying around the screen at once. Also the fact that some enemies are on the ground and can't be shot without your bomb dropper adds to the difficulty as well. But the game is definitely NOT worth finishing. Fortunately when you die it doesn't set you back, you just start over right where you got hit. This brings the score all the way up to a "1". This game makes me need to go diarrhea.


Yummy... a chocolate turban!

Wrap up:
This game is a Titanic Turd... it's so big that it breaks in half when you try to flush it.
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Old 01-07-2005, 05:38 AM   #307
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A DOUBLE COILER, eh? Funny, I actually never heard of this game in all my years of collecting. It appears that it would be more of a laugher to show your buddies then for actual gameplay. A game based on toilets & poop, Who was it that said "The best games come from Japan" in one of the threads a week or so ago? I hope they see this stinker.

Funny, funny stuff Joe!

Is there a "Grand Poopah" you have to kill to beat the game or must you go watch Austin Powers drink some stool sample to get your closure?
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Old 01-07-2005, 02:27 PM   #308
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That game sucked ass. But JJ & Jeff was pretty fun.... for about ten minutes.
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Old 01-09-2005, 06:20 AM   #309
Joe Redifer
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Granada
8/10
Sega Genesis


The very first 4 meg free roaming
tank shooter on the Genesis!


Granada is a Wolf Team tank shooter where you must destroy certain targets before taking on a stage boss and then going to the next stage type of game that was released by Renovation (Telenet's US arm) back in 1990. Of course my experience is with the Japanese Mega Drive version which was not changed at all for the US release, not even the text. Since I had a US Genesis, the game detected that and all of the text was in Engrish. Play the same cartridge on a Japanese Mega Drive and much of the text is in Japanese. Play it on a European Mega Drive and you are screwed because it is so slow. This is why the world does not need Europe and should dispose of it. I think even Europe would agree.


You must shoot the nests which spawn baby tanks to kill you!

Graphics: 5/10
The graphics here are pretty weak for the most part. The sprites are teeny-tiny, but this doesn't impair gameplay. Nor do the drab backgrounds and yucky patterned textures. But there are some cool effects here and there like scaling, rotation and some nice explosions. I like how when you fire your mega-cannon it kicks you back a few paces. Nice touch. Also when you shoot things you can see them taking hits. They just don't sit still like other games, they move when hit just like you would if hit in the chest with my mighty foot. The pics on this page make it kind of difficult to make out your tank, but when you play the game you can see it without problems. Some levels offer nice parallax scrolling, and I especially like stage 2 which puts you on top of a giant airborne craft as the clouds and ground pass by below (although very slowly if you are playing in Europe).


Jumpin' Jehosephat! The boss of the first
stage tries to squash your hopes and dreams!


Sound: 8/10
I debated whether to give the sound a 7 or an 8 because there are a couple very mediocre music tracks here and there. But I decided on 8 because the good tracks are very good (stage 2 is my favorite). There are a few voices which announce special powerups which sound almost exactly like super-scratchy versions of the voices in Thunder Force IV. Dumb bitch-whore. Also the sound effects are quite nice and really add to the game, and it is presented in moderate stereo so overall I think my rating fits. The music was done by fabled videogame composer Motoi Sakuraba, and it is hard to rank anything he does less than 8. Notice how I bolded all of the numbers when I typed them. Does that make you happy? It should. Also there is a hot chick on the TV right now as I type this. What do you think of that?


This rotating boss means to cause you harm!

Gameplay: 8/10
This game is filled with non-stop shooting from the second you enter stage one to the second you defeat the final boss on the last stage (you can stop shooting after that). There are 8 stages total. You must seek out and destroy targets on the map before you can fight the stage boss. You can get special powerups like heat seeking missiles, but that don't stay with you from stage to stage because you lose them on your journey from one stage to the next (you never have been very good at keeping track of your belongings). It's a game of average difficulty, and you won't be beating it right away. The stages have quite a bit of variety from one to the next and the action can get quite intense, just like your mom in bed. I don't know what the game has to do with the real Granada, but who cares? The game offers tons of non-stop fast-paced free-roaming tank-shootin' fun, especially if you are a fan of non-stop fast-paced free-roaming tank shooters! Buy three copies today!


This stage shows off the amazing transparency features of the Genesis.

Wrap up:
A good game originally on the Sharp X68000 but available NOW for your Sega Genesis (also with 68000 processor).
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Old 01-09-2005, 04:35 PM   #310
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so joe, would you say toilet kids is a piece of crap? (ahh corny jokes, I love em!)
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Old 01-09-2005, 08:01 PM   #311
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No, it's a steaming pile of sh!t.
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Old 01-10-2005, 02:16 AM   #312
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M.U.S.H.A.
8/10
Sega Genesis


A good looking box... for a U.S. game??!!

Metallic Uniframe Super Hybrid Armor. Here we have the best vertically scrolling shooter ever created for the Genesis and possibly one of the best vertically scrolling shooters on any system. Programmed by the masters at Compile (Power Strike, Robo-Aleste, Space Megaforce, Golvellius, etc) this game simply kicks ass. It packs 7 levels of fast-paced action into a wimpy 4 megs. But it seems that Compile knows how to cram quite a bit into 4 megs.


In this game you must shoot everything that isn't you!

Graphics: 7/10
The graphics in this game are very colorful and detailed. You get up to three layers of scrolling and a great sense of depth (just wait until level 3, hot shot)! You get some pseudo-scaling as well. Your ship (actually a mech) is quite big compared to other shooters, and that can make it difficult to avoid being hit. But the graphics do not disappoint in any aspect, and considering when the game was made (1990) it makes them seem even better. Certainly not the best visuals ever on the Genesis, but pretty damned good for the day.


Stage 3 gives you an awesome sense of height, just like my ego!

Sound: 8/10
M.U.S.H.A. also sports a fantastic soundtrack. It sounds much better than many games released later in the Genesis' life, and it is presented in full stereo. The super-synthy music is usually fast-paced metal, leaning more towards speed metal at times. If this had been a CD game you would have been destroyed by the guitar attacks (the follow-up to this game for the Sega CD called Robo Aleste had great techno-ey music). But even on the Genesis it sounds very pleasant. I hate it when people say that the Genesis has a bad sound chip. It doesn't. Usually these same people have no problems with how the TurboGrafx-16 or the NES sounded, nor do they have a problem with the cheesey reverbed synth-orchestra type of sounds that was way too prevelant in many SNES games. Oh well, people are stupid and they should die. The title screen music is directly from Power Strike's title screen on the Sega Master System, only redone with sweet 4-meg Genesis sound. The sound effects are pretty good, with a gratifying digital pop type of sound when enemies explode, and the bosses make weird mechanical screams as they are defeated. I really like stage 2 where posts creep in from either the left or right side of the screen (or both) and you can hear it from either the left or right speakers, depending on what's happening onscreen. Very ambitious sound for 1990.


Think of mid-bosses like assistant managers; weak and easily defeated.

Gameplay: 8/10
Fantastic! Although it starts out fairly easy, you will soon be overwhelmed as the stages progress. Much of that is due to how crappy you are at videogames, and the rest is how many things are onscreen and shooting at you all at once. Hold on, I need to take a piss, I'll be right back. OK I am back and I also got a donut while I was up. I would have gotten one for you, but I don't think my e-mail will accept a donut as a file attachment. Oh well, sucks to be you. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, M.U.S.H.A.! It's a great game. You should play it. You have a normal shot and your choice of 3 special shots as well as collectible little "options" which you can change to behave in different ways. This game blows Space Megaforce on the SNES away in every category: graphics, sound, and gameplay. Ew, this donut is kind of stale. Time to throw it away. Anyway this is a solid experience. You really should play it, ya know?


Greg gets his ass handed to him before the game starts,
so you won't have to listen to his whining anymore.


Wrap up:
One of the best vertically scrolling shooters ever made.
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Old 01-10-2005, 11:26 AM   #313
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Will you review this game soon? It's one of my favorites.

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Old 01-10-2005, 11:27 AM   #314
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I've been looking, but have been too much of a chicken to spend the $50 - $75 that MUSHA has been going for on ebay.

It's morning where I'm at right now and I'm hungry. After reading the Gameplay section, I'm going to go work out and then visit Dunkin Donuts for some coffee and donuts. Thanks, Joe.
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Old 01-10-2005, 08:49 PM   #315
Joe Redifer
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Quote:
Will you review this game soon? It's one of my favorites.
You're in luck... That one's next!
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