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Old 11-07-2004, 12:07 AM   #16
Joe Redifer
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Katamari Damacy
8/10
Playstation 2



Oh. My. God. Leave your heterosexuality at the door, as it won't be needed here. This game is enough to turn any straight man gay. Besides that, it is a very interesting and fun off-the-wall (to say the least) game with simple controls, no combos or anything stupid like that, and lots and lots of pure wackiness. The world needs more games like this. But perhaps just a little less gay would suffice. But it does add to the humor.


The cows flee as The King of all Gayness attacks!


You play as the Prince of all Gayness.

Story: 8/10
The story basically revolves around how the King of all Cosmos accidentally destroyed all of the stars. And he is so lazy that he makes you fix it all. You roll crap up and the crap becomes stars. Who could want a better premise than that? Not me. But there is an ongoing story within the game about a family who is going on a trip to meet their dad or some such nonsense. The little girl "feels the cosmos" and freaks out whenever you create a constellation. The little boy is very observant and pays attention to the super detailed reports on the news about the missing stars. The mom is an obnoxious bitch who doesn't believe a single word coming out of the kids' mouths. She is the type of person who would probably be hit by a bus for neglecting to look both ways before attempting to cross a street. The story is told in cutscenes that last anywhere from 10 seconds to about 45 seconds or so. They always end with a cliffhanger and are "to be continued...." which makes you want to complete the next stage even more so you can find out "what happens next"! What does this have to do with the game itself? Absolutely nothing at all!


Even the Queen is not actually a "she". That's right!
Notice the giant white erection "she" has as "she" stares
at the King from behind.



This crazy panda admires his own ejaculation puddle
as a GIANT MARIJUANA LEAF hovers above him!


Graphics: 7/10
The graphics really suck, but that's what makes them so great! Very simple polygons are used. Much detail went in to making sure that lots of gayness shines through. There are a ton of cool objects to roll over and collect. I think the pictures here in this review speak for themselves. Unfortunately this game does not support either 16:9 widescreen nor 480p (progressive scan). It's the PS2, so I guess I should expect it not to support cool things that that very often.


The game includes a trip to Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch.


The King gives off instructions as
his son stares at his giant bulge.


Sound:
The sounds are cool with people screaming as you collect them and the like. But what really shines in this game is the music, which is off-the-wall crazy goodness! Some of the songs are in pure Japanese, but you won't care. But usually the tunes are unusually catchy. Your friends would point and laugh at you if they caught you listening to the soundtrack. No problem, just let them play this game. The game will help them accept and embrace homosexuality just like it did with you, and now you'll be able to have "fun" with your friends in ways you never thought possible! Plus they'll all like the music as well.


You get to roll up tons of stuff including videogame systems
like the one straight ahead. It is a combination of an 8-bit
Famicom, a Sega SG-1000 system, and a Playstation 2.



You can eventually collect things like cats, cows, homes, and even tall buildings!

Gameplay: 8/10
All you really have to worry about here is rolling your ball around and trying to make it bigger by rolling over stuff and adding it to your collection. There are other things like presents you can find, but who cares? Not me, and neither do you. The first 6 stages plus most of the constellations are pretty easy. But by the 7th star, it gets pretty damn hard. They give you a short amount of time to grow your ball all the way to 6 meters from about 50 centimeters at the start. Damn hard! There are only 9 stars to make, plus the moon and some constellations and the like. Once you complete a stage, the King is displeased because he always wants things BIGGER than they are. Always always always. Hmmmm... Anyway, the controls are intuitive, but still not all that great. It's hard to control your ball in a precise manner since you must use both analog sticks at the same time, like in Super Monkeyball (a game whose controls absolutely DESTROY the controls in this game). So the controls can be a bit frustrating at times. There are a few moves like dashing and jumping that you'll have to use here and there, but mostly you'll probably forget that you even have these abilities. This is an extremely fun game to play, and can be quite addictive. It can also cause motion sickness if you play for too long. It's only $20, so that makes it a must buy!


After you complete a level, the King attacks you with a giant rainbow
that he shoots from his mouth. Gee I wonder what that means.



This game is FABULOUS!!!!

Wrap up:
If you can get past all of the gay innuendo (right-wing conservatives need not apply), then this is a really great game. The quirky fun will have to laughing the whole way through. Buy it. Now. And hope for more quirky and ingenious titles to come to the US.

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 11-24-2004 at 04:46 PM.
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Old 11-07-2004, 04:13 AM   #17
Icarus4578
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Wow, I never would've imagined how ?ber-gay Katamari is by those other reviews out there. I know how much you love your Super Monkey Ball Joe, so when are you gonna review it?
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Old 11-07-2004, 06:18 AM   #18
Joe Redifer
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RIGHT NOW!

Super Monkeyball
10/10
Gamecube Nintendo


Hell yeah! The best Gamecube game ever!

When my friend Dave (fellow forum member Vicviper) first got his Gamecube Nintendo, I stood with him in line outside of EB before it opened. There were about a dozen other people there I believe. This was back when everyone just called it the "Gamecube" and not "Gamecube Nintendo" (those were the days). But since people refer to it as "GCN" I MUST refer to it as "Gamecube Nintendo" since that's exactly what GCN stands for. I can be a total retard just like people who say "GCN" instead of "GC" (including Nintendo). Just please don't ask how Nintendo refers to the GameBoy Advance or else we'll all go to hell. Anyway, when Dave finally got to the register to pick up his purple Gamecube Nintendo (the only color available much to his dismay), he also bought three games that were, coincidentally, compatible with his brand new system. Imagine that! He bought Luigi's Mansion, Waverace 64, and of course Super Monkeyball. We drove all the way back to his house and powered up Luigi's Mansion. We turned it off before the Gamecube Nintendo logo even finished drawing itself on the boot sequence since the game was so boring. Either that or the game was just really, really short. Then we plugged in Waverace 64. It was an awesome update of ummm, Waverace 64. Waitaminute... Waverace: Blue Storm is the Gamecube Nintendo version! Yeah, that's right. Anyway after that we powered up Super Monkeyball, and that's when other friends of ours started coming over (they could smell the fun from their homes and naturally gravitated to where this game was being played). What a great, great day indeed. I was totally impressed with the new Gamecube Nintendo due to this new game. And what a great game it was/is. The memories of that day still linger in my head every time I play this game. Fond memories kick ass. I knew right then that this would be the best Gamecube Nintendo game ever made, barring the possibility of a superior sequel.

Story: 5/10
You are trapped in a ball. You must get to the goal. If you get through all of the goals, you are rewarded with tons of bananas. What more could a monkey want? This story simply kicks ass. Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings suck compared to the Super Monkeyball story. We'd have to wait until Super Monkeyball 2 to get a better story.


Try not to fall off the edges or hit a bumper!
This game truly kicks an amazing amount of ass!


Graphics: 8/10
Very sharp graphics and a constant 60 fields per second make for a very nice looking game indeed. Lots of color and well used reflections iron things out. Sega really seems to like the "checkerboard" style of grid, as it was taken straight from Space Harrier. I certainly don't mind that. This game has lots of visual style in the main game and all of its minigames as well. The backgrounds look nice and are well designed, and the DOLE logo is represented in it's true form. Everyone loves Dole. We learned about Dole in high school from our ultra-radical/conservative religion teacher, who was trying to teach us that Dole was evil just because they steal land from poor farmers in foreign lands. Who cares? Everyone does that! Dole is cool and poor foreign farmers are not. Would you rather see a Dole logo plastered all over Super Monkeyball, or the face of a poor foreign farmer? Dole wins! Hooray Dole! Boo Ms. Gacnik, our radical religion teacher! Boy was she ugly. She even had kids, if you can believe that. Her husband must have been blind or she took a trip to the sperm doner clinic or something. But at least the graphics in Super Monkeyball make up for her extreme ugliness! Unfortunately the game does not support either 480p or widescreen. Hopefully the Xbox version will remedy that.


One of the easy stages in the game.
All of the stages are ridiculously fun!


Sound: 8/10
The music in this game is great. Very catchy and appropriate. Of course you expect the music to be great since it was made by none other than T's Music of Japan. T's music also provided the fantastic music for Lords of Thunder for the TurboDuo. And of course let's not forget the great music of Dungeon Explorer 1 and 2, for the TurboGrafx-16 and CD, respectively. You also get to hear the monkeys make tons of noise as they roll around in their little prisons. They scream as they roll really fast or wobble on an edge. Great stuff! The baby's whining can get a bit annoying at times, but it is never as grating as that horrible sound in that Yoshi's Island game or whatever it was called for the SNES with the insipid little baby Mario. That game was audio torture! This game most certainly is not.

Gameplay: 10/10
The gameplay is where this game truly shines. The single player main game is simply awesome. You roll around trying to get from start to finish. That's it. But getting to the goal is not always easy... well it is for me but not for most players. Each of the skill levels has unique stages of their own. It's best to start out on easy and work your way up to the hardest. I can beat any of them any time now, and I still love going through the main game. Occasionally there are bonus rounds where you must collect all of the bananas before the time runs out. Every 100 bananas you collect gets you an extra monkey, but other than that, the bananas are completely meaningless. Still though it's fun to try and grab them. There are no buttons to worry about pressing during the game, just the single analog stick is all you need, and control is more than superb, it is downright perfection! Pressing the giant red button on the Gamecube Nintendo controller will zoom in your map or zoom it out, but it does not affect gameplay. Sega has made a game of everything, even inputting your name when you get a high score. I love that! When you beat the game, you try to collect as many bananas as possible as you avoid the falling letters from the name of the people who made the game. Yes, you even play during the credits! Classic stuff. Then there are the really cool minigames like Monkey Race, Monkey Golf, Monkey Bowling, Monkey Fight, Monkey Target, etc etc. All of these games are fun, some more than others, and all are multiplayer. Monkey Fight is a 4-player beat 'em up that is just random chaos, but fun chaos. Monkey Target is one of my favorite minigames as it adds strategy and requires super-precise control (plus has great music). It's always a battle for the highest score, and some amazing things can be done to get it. This game has TONS of replayability value and it's one of the most fun games I have ever played in my life. I purchased a Gamecube Nintendo solely for this game and I do not regret it even one iota. No other game this generation can compare. Yes, it's better than Halo, better than Metroid Prime, better than Grand Theft Auto Vice City. This game has way more polish and is way more fun and replayable than ANY game released this generation. Period. Remember, my reviews are fact, not opinion.


Monkey Target is one of the best minigames in the game.
You fly around and try to land on the spot that gives you
the most points. You can marathon with this game.


Wrap up:
This is the best game that has been released in a good 5 years or so and remains uncontested in that position. Leave it to Sega. Super Monkeyball is right at home on the Gamecube. Unfortunately with the game coming out on the other 2 systems, it takes some of the exclusivity away from Nintendo as well as some of the appeal of the system itself. If you don't have a Gamecube Nintendo, be sure to pick up Super Monkeyball when it comes out for your system! I'll be back really, really soon with a Super Monkeyball 2 review, and I'll compare the games in depth... or at least as deep as I want to go.

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 11-24-2004 at 04:47 PM.
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Old 11-07-2004, 12:22 PM   #19
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I remember that day also..............the day when I picked up my purple GC! I cried purple tears because it was so ugly yet it was so beautiful all at the same time.

Anyways, for me Monkey Target was where I spent most of my time with this game. I garnered such a high score as not to be beaten by anybody ever!
Joe you should try the GBA version of Monkey Ball! I played it and the port is actually really well done and quite playable.
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Old 11-07-2004, 03:35 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Freeman
KoF 95's comin out on the PS2 next year, Jap sadly.

5/10? Well, if that's what you think of it its' fine by me .

OK, so some of the victory quotes suck, I agree with that! Really SNK should get someone with good english (not japanese) to do their dialouge!

Nice, keep up the good work.
Hey can you review SvC Chaos?
No but I will

Joe thinks he knows so much about graphics but he's just full of hot air
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Old 11-07-2004, 07:54 PM   #21
Joe Redifer
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I know more about graphics than you do.

Vic, glad to hear you played the GBA version. I was wondering about that since I'd have to use the digital control. If you say it is pretty good then I will have to say it is pretty good! And since I can do GBA screen caps, I should review it as well! But first I must find a store that still sells it.
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Old 11-07-2004, 08:03 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Redifer
I know more about graphics than you do.

Vic, glad to hear you played the GBA version. I was wondering about that since I'd have to use the digital control. If you say it is pretty good then I will have to say it is pretty good! And since I can do GBA screen caps, I should review it as well! But first I must find a store that still sells it.
No you don't you don't even know how to do Manual Anti Alasing on any console
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Old 11-07-2004, 08:10 PM   #23
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LOLOLOLOLOL x 1000! I've done manual anti-aliasing on the Amiga, and it would be the same method on any console. Unless you have personally programmed graphics for any of the consoles, you should not speak. Any posts by you on this subject (in this thread at least) will be ignored by me.
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Old 11-07-2004, 08:44 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe Redifer
LOLOLOLOLOL x 1000! I've done manual anti-aliasing on the Amiga, and it would be the same method on any console. Unless you have personally programmed graphics for any of the consoles, you should not speak. Any posts by you on this subject (in this thread at least) will be ignored by me.
Because you know I'm right
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Old 11-07-2004, 08:50 PM   #25
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Redifer, I just bought Monkey Ball jr at Target. They have them for $14.99
Mind you the control isn't AS good as GC but it's still very controllable. More like Marble madness now.
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Old 11-07-2004, 11:59 PM   #26
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Now is a great time for:

Super Monkeyball 2
9/10
Gamecube Nintendo


If you see this box at a game store,
BUY IT IMMEDIATELY! Do not question the price
or anything else. You will not regret it.



Story: 3/10
This version actually has a story mode, unlike the original Super Monkeyball. This time Doctor "Bad-Boon" (yeah, awesome ain't it?) is trying to take over the world, and OBVIOUSLY only you monkeys can stop him. He leaves diabolical traps (the game stages) for you that you must get through to stop him. There is even voice acting in "chimp language". It's pretty bad. And pretty tough. You can unlock a lot of cinemas and the like by playing through story mode.


The great graphics return and are even better this time around.
Switches are one of the new concepts that have been added to the game.


Graphics: 10/10
The graphics here are a step above the original Super Monkeyball. There is more detail in everything you see, from the playing field itself to the lively backgrounds. Tons of color will greet your eyeballs. This game also gets it right by offering 480p and 16:9 widescreen. Super Monkeyball is one of the few games in existence to get 16:9 done right. None of the menus are stretched or anything like that. Truly a great experience! Everything animates at 60 frames per second (as opposed to fields per second like the first game which did not offer 480p) and there is never a moment of dropped frames or slowdown. A great looking game with excellent visual design.


Check out the difference between the normal (4:3) mode on the top,
and the wide (16:9) mode on the bottom. Thank you Sega for including this!


Sound: 8/10
Right at first you may think that the original game had better music. You'd be right in a sense... the original game throws good music at you right away. So does Super Monkeyball 2, just not quite as good right away. But some of the upper stages have outstanding music that fully fits the game and is very enjoyable to listen to. And yes, once again T's Music is responsible for the tunes. The sounds are pretty much the same as the previous game, with the monkey voices as you progress and the like, but the voices in the story mode are pretty annoying and make you ashamed to listen to them. The disc curiously labels the game as supporting Dolby Digital 5.1, but the Gamecube is incapable of that, so I must assume that's a misprint until a special digital audio cable is released and I am proven otherwise. Overall I'd say it's a pretty good sound package, though!

Gameplay: 9/10
Gameplay remains remarkably similar to the first game in most respects, and in that area it most definitely exceeds. To add some strategy the designers added warp gates and switches. The warp gates will (obviously) warp you to another area in the stage. The switches can do anything from speeding up the motion of a stage, slowing it down, or even pausing it. Messing with the warp gates and switches is fun, but it's not as fun as pure unadulterated Monkeyball-ness, so I had to subtract a point because of that. There are tons upon tons of stages in the story and challenge modes (same concept as the main game in Super Monkeyball 1), but now there are twice as many minigames! You have Monkey Shot which is a rail shooter and you must shoot down various objects that threaten the universe. Old favorites like Monkey Race and Monkey Target return with all new stages. Monkey Target is a bit different than the first outing, and the strategy takes a different approach as well. Still Monkey Target remains my favorite minigame and is tons of fun to play. Once again Sega has polished everything, but entering your name is nowhere near as cool as it was in the first game, and the game you play as the credits roll is about 1/5th as fun as the original game. Oh well, it's still beats sitting there watching the credits and doing nothing. The control remains perfect for the main game and awesome for the minigames. Anyway as you can probably tell, this game is incredible!


The new version of Super Monkey Target
has a mode where you can use 5 monkeys at once.
You can also play as a single monkey like in
the original game, and that method is more fun.


Download a Quicktime video!
To see how much fun this game is, download the Quicktime video and check it out. Don't be fooled, it is not as easy as I make it look, but it is every bit as fun. The video is 4.3 MB and only 34 seconds long. I apologize for the large size, but being that everything moves so quickly in this game, it is difficult to get good compression. Quicktime 6 is REQUIRED.

Wrap up:
Though not *quite* as good as the first game, this game should still absolutely be purchased several times by every individual on the planet at full price. What a great concept this game and the original are! More Sega, MORE!!!!

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 11-24-2004 at 04:48 PM.
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Old 11-08-2004, 12:02 AM   #27
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Have you unlocked the hidden stages of awesomeness for beating expert in SMB2 without continuing?

I had such awesome replays that I deleted in that game due to memory card 59(well I saved a couple). I like the second more than the first.
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Old 11-08-2004, 12:04 AM   #28
Joe Redifer
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Yes I have unlocked everything!
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Old 11-08-2004, 12:08 AM   #29
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wow...

Anyhow how the hell do you balance on the those incredibly small walkways(or shall I say the smallest) in that one circle stage in the first monkey ball that gives you more points the smaller the walkway you go on(you know what I'm talking about)? I'd sure like to see you record it because I honestly don't think it's possible(without breaking all your GC controllers from frustration).

Last edited by Vert1; 11-08-2004 at 12:11 AM.
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Old 11-08-2004, 12:39 AM   #30
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The best I can do is the 0.2 track. I can only get about 1/4 of the way around on the 0.1 track.
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