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Old 11-16-2004, 02:16 AM   #67
Joe Redifer
Olé!
 
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 20,105
There will be a bunch... in time... but now it's time for:

F-Zero GX
9/10
Gamecube Nintendo


Made by Sega and censored by Nintendo!

Nintendo made an awesome SNES game and it was called F-Zero. Definitely one of the better games on that system. We got a decent N64 version, but the graphics on that system made it hard to look at without vomiting (something that plagued 99% of all N64 games). But for the Gamecube, Nintendo decided that Sega should program the game, since Sega is frighteningly astonishing, and Nintendo has ALWAYS known that. And Sega did nicely indeed! What did you expect? Alex Kidd in F-Zero World?


Nintendo and Sega on the same videogame screen?
I always have to clean up after I see this.


Graphics: 10/10
This game arguably has some of the best graphics of any home game anywhere EVER. The frame rate never drops. The detail is absolutely superb. You can only see pop-up (fade in, actually) if you really look for it. The game moves extremely fast and never slows down. 480p is supported. 16:9 widescreen is supported. In fact, this game is one of only 2 games (the other being Super Monkeyball 2) that gets 16:9 perfectly right. There are no stretched menus. No stretched HUDs. Nothing is stretched. It is 100% true anamorphic 16:9. There aren't too many games that even approach this level of graphic goodness, and as of right now, only Rallisport Challenge 2 on the Xbox surpasses it, but this game has way more style. Sega has done an outstanding job, and they know to use the Gamecube hardware much better than ANYONE else, including Nintendo (who has never even made a 16:9 widescreen game in its existence). Easily one of the best looking games out there, bar none.


Goodness gracious me! F-Zero GX sure iz da
phiggidy phat mad tight bomb yo! Fo' shizzle!


Sound: 9/10
There is a lot to like about the extremely racist sounds of F-Zero GX. You don't hear much from the cars themselves during the race, but the music, for the most part, is absolutely splendid. There are a couple of tunes that are kind of boring. The game is quite racist, however, and it stands to chance that the game hates YOUR ethnicity. For instance, when you are racing on the track called "Lightning", a robotic voice constantly says "Deigo wop!" as an insult to the entire Italian community. Also in the selection screen where you pick your racer, you can hear a robotic voice at the beginning say "The Japanese will rule!" which is a warning that Japan intends on conquering the world and making slaves of us all. We must act now, fellow Americans! WE MUST! Actually since we Americans are pretty lazy, we can act tomorrow instead. Sega's racism department worked overtime once again and they get a 10! In the meantime we can listen to the many many cool tunes for F-Zero GX, which is also presented in Dolby Pro-Logic 2 for your enjoyment. Some people say that they don't like the music because they are used to listening to techno when playing futuristic racing games like WipeOut. Those people are not only wrong, but they are boring as well. They should be burned alive for our entertainment.


Hitting the jumps can send you soaring.
Naturally, you can still steer in the air.


Gameplay: 9/10
Oh man! Is this game ever fast! Control is great, and you can pick from many many different types of racers, all with their own unique feel. You may be required to do a little fighting during some of the upper levels, as knocking opponents off of the track is literally the only way to win. If you're good enough, you can even unlock all of the arcade tracks as well (as seen in the F-Zero AX arcade machine down at your local Chuck E. Cheese). But be warned... this game is DAMN HARD! I mean daaaaamn! I literally twisted a Gamecube controller into pieces due to this game. It will take you at least a couple of tries to beat this game entirely. The story mode is extremely hard as well. That mode pits you up against certain challenges and then laughs at you as you lose. Beat the story mode and then you can try it on hard. No problem, sign me up! You can also buy parts for your racer and build a custom machine in the garage, and even design logos for it. That mode is pretty cool and adds a lot to the gameplay. Don't expect Gran Turismo or anything, this game is an arcade racer pure and simple. It has no desire to be Gran Turismo or WipeOut. It is F-Zero, and this game will own you. Despite the extreme difficulty, there is still something very addictive about this game. I play it all of the time. It calls to me. I can't put it down. And neither should you.


You can even create your very own emblems!
Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator ain't got nothin' on this!



According to my research, this screen seems to mean that the race is over.
You are left feeling sad when this happens because the race is so fun.
But fear not, as another stage approaches. If you made the cut, that is.


Wrap up:
One of the best racers out there, and the pinnacle of Gamecube graphics. Leave it to Sega!

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 11-24-2004 at 04:00 PM.
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