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Old 01-24-2005, 06:50 AM   #352
Joe Redifer
Olé!
 
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 20,068
Too bad. I'm reviewing it anyway!

Robotron 2084
4/10
Arcade


This game is not as good as Final Fantasy 7.

Recently I was having a discussion with an extremely good friend of mine when I stated the fact that Midway has never made a good game ever. My extremely good friend pointed out that Defender and Robotron 2084 were made by Midway. He even said that Robotron 2084 was one of the best games of all time! If it was one of the best games ever, then surely it could not have been made by Midway. I did some research and I was right! Both games are programmed by Williams Electronics. But I decided to give Robotron 2084 a few spins anyway.


These are the best graphics in the game. Fantastic for 1982!

Graphics: 4/10
Do NOT play this game if you are epileptic! This game was created when programmers discovered how to change a pixel's color, so everything in this game flashes and color-cycles. It looks very annoying and will give you a headache after not too long. Other than that the graphics are very simple as you can see by the screenshots provided here. The best graphics effect is when the stage starts, and everything assembles with a whole bunch of horizontal lines. Sometimes it is difficult to tell the difference between the enemy and the moronic family that you are supposed to be defending.


Wander around a single screen and protect a dumbass family
from a ton of robots who are trying to kill them for NO REASON!


Sound: 5/10
Sounds like a 1982 arcade game. Which is to say that it sounds somewhat pleasant and typical for the time. Damn it! I think my microwave is on the blink. It seems to be overcooking food lately. I should probably get a new one. This pisses me off because now I can't enjoy my Swedish meatballs as much!


Coherent visual design was not a concern for the programmers.

Gameplay: 4/10
The game is played with dual joysticks. One to move and the other to shoot. You must protect the last human family from death as a bunch of robots try to murder them for some reason. Let me be the first to tell you that this family deserves to die. They wander around aimlessly as if nothing is happening. You've got a bunch of different robots to kill, and some of them can even take over a family member's body. The action is fast and frantic, very similar to Centipede in a way, only more boring and uglier. Due to all of the flashing colors, the game becomes a chore and disinteresting to play. But for the day I imagine it would keep the attention of a few kids. Personally I'd rather douche my ass-hole.

Wrap up:
Maximum strength Vagisil is a great way to block those nasty odors!

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 01-26-2005 at 12:30 AM.
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