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Old 09-12-2007, 02:54 AM   #10
Joe Redifer
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 20,149
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Nintendo Wii

Yes, a good Wii game!

With not much quality software currently available for Nintendo's next generation WiiŽ game console, I was surprised when something I actually kind of wanted to play was released. I took a chance on this game since I enjoyed the Metroid game for Nintendo's "DS" portable system. I enjoyed the new style of control in that game which the touch screen allowed and that in turn allowed me to bask in the fine experience of the game itself. Personally, I detest the FPS genre. It can go to hell. I'm not sure what so many people see in it. I wish it would die. If you like FPS games, then I hope you die someday, that'll teach you. Where was I? Oh yeah, I bought this game because it offered a new way to control it... I took a big chance and I came out ahead. So let's look at the game, shall we?

Ripping things off with the grapple beam using the nunchuck is pretty damned awesome.

Story: ?/10
I'm not really sure what Metroid Prime 3 is about. Like every other game these days, it tries to draw you in with an insipid story that nobody cares about except for people with no lives. This game doesn't rely much on story other than to give you something new to do just when you finished cleaning up the previous mess. The story is about aliens who do stuff and suddenly there is all of this Prozac and you become infected with it and you have to destroy the Prozac or some crazy shit like that, I dunno. Whoever wrote the story probably doesn't have a creative bone in their body, but they don't need one. It's Metroid! Anyway, I have no clue how this game ties in to the previous Gamecube Metroid Prime games. There is a Dark Samus and I have no idea what all of that nonsense is about. Amazingly, I didn't care.

Jaggies! Jaggies everywhere! High definition is just a fad, Nintendo knows what we want!

Graphics: 8/10
This game wasn't built from the ground up for the next generation Wii powerhouse. The developers stated somewhere that they were well into programming the game before they learned what the Wii Remote even was, so it shouldn't surprise you that this game has graphics similar to the Gamecube versions. But Nintendo (surprisingly) had developer Retro add the 16:9 aspect ratio for people with such TVs. Though Nintendo is slowly getting better in this regard, unfortunately all of the bitmapped (non-polygon) graphics are stretched in this mode, and that includes your HUD, where the center circle becomes an oval. I guess they still are pretty damn lazy. Overall the quality of the graphics doesn't piss me off at all, except for the extreme amount of jaggies. Good lighting effects occur when special stuff happens and lots of crap like that. I didn't really see any clipping and everything looks and feels solid. If I were the graphics supervisor I'd have made them fix that 16:9 issue, and if they didn't everyone would be fired and I'd rule all of Nintendo. Then I'd give all of the company's money to Sega so they could get rid of Sammy and release a new Sega console shaped like my smiling face. Then I'd sell Nintendo to Sega and make games only for Sega's new system, which would be called the "Sega Ass Kicker". It could happen!

You ride along "ziplines" during the game which is a mode of public transportation in Skytown.
Of course there are creatures who only attack when you are riding it.

Sound: 5/10
This game barely supports stereo, so don't expect any fancy surround effects here. Nintendo of Japan assigned their worst accounting interns to do the music for this game, and the result is exactly what you'd expect from an accounting intern forced to do music. There's lots of crappy synth-choir here with next to no discernible melodies. It's ambient, but extremely boring ambiance. It's the type of music that reminds you of waiting by your window for the cable repair man. Only the Skytown theme is acceptable, and I actually kind of like it! Very fitting. The sound effects are good and pretty much what you'd expect from this type of game with lots of cool sci-fi bleeps and zaps. The voice acting is alright and I can't really think of much to say about it other than Samus never talks. I guess that makes her the dream woman. I did enjoy the aural experience when fighting Rundar or Rangar or whatever that particular boss' name is (all of the names in the game are unmemorable). He lets out a cool vocal noise when he is stunned, and the music actually has melody. Overall there is no reason to mute your sound system, but certainly no reason to crank it up, either.

This is Ghor, one of the few bosses I didn't like. I'd still rather fight him than play Bioshock, though.

Gameplay: 8/10
As I said in the first paragraph, I hate FPS games. But with the control scheme that Metroid Prime 3 has, it is actually fun. Metroid Prime isn't really a true FPS game as you do more than wander around, shoot things and try to survive. For one you can shoot as fast as you can press the button, and there is no reloading nonsense to bog down gameplay. Reloading is for losers. Also, you scan shit. A lot of shit. At first I didn't think scanning was all that necessary, but it can really help. For example after you scan something that, say, you can grapple, a grapple icon will appear when you are able to do so. This can be extremely helpful in certain boss fights. Speaking of boss battles, almost all of them have a jumping attack where you have to jump over the resulting wave as they land. What's up with that? Many bosses have no apparent weak point until you wear it down by attacking other parts of the boss, and then it loses power pretty slowly. This was before I started scanning bosses and I was very annoyed with the long boss battles. I ABHOR long boss battles! Anyone who likes super long boss battles deserves face herpes. It sucks to die right before defeating them and have to do it all over. However, I found that once you knew exactly what to do, the boss battles go pretty quickly and are really fun. I'd love to see a "boss rush" mode added to the extras of this game. Since it is a Metroid game, there are various puzzles that you must solve to advance to a new location, etc. At first I tended to over think these puzzles, but the answers were really simple in reality. Advancing throughout the game nets you tons of new upgrades which you conveniently need to access the next area. I didn't care much for the charge ball, but all of the other upgrades were pretty cool. You can earn Xbox360 achievements by scanning certain things, defeating bosses or whatnot. These achievements are then used like money where you can unlock some truly awesome goodies, like the ability to listen to the title screen music without needing to be at the title screen. WOW!

Ah yes, the amusingly named "Screw Attack" suit upgrade. This is the only time that
Samus actually flips while she jumps as she did in 2D Metroid games.

Control works well, but with the Wii you don't actually point at the exact area on your screen you want to shoot as you would in a light gun game. Instead the Wii Remote acts as a simple mouse-like pointing device and does not represent where you are really pointing. That is disappointing since light guns games aren't truly possible as a result. I also noticed some errors in the control. When I am instructed to tilt the remote up to pull up a lever on a train, it doesn't work unless I tilt the remote down, and the reverse is true for putting the lever back down again. Odd. I also hate any part that requires me to shake the controls. Hate, hate, HATE! Still, it's a million times better than playing with a dual analog controller. It's closer to playing PC-style with a mouse and a keyboard, but I'll take an analog thumbstick over 4 pissy keys to move myself around any day! Anyone who prefers using keyboard keys over an analog stick for this purpose likely shaves, collects and catalogs their ass hair. The ball mode is kind of twitchy to control, but is manageable and becomes second nature with some practice. Another thing you'll notice while playing this game is how slow the Wii loads its data. I haven't played a lot of games yet on the Wii since there really isn't anything to play, but this game loads slower than a freakin' 3DO console. That's just sad. Sometimes you're trying to get through a door, but it won't open for 10-15 seconds after you walk up to it and shoot it. Unacceptable! Interestingly as I was playing the game, I was suddenly informed that I had unlocked an extra special ending, but that if I wanted to see it, I'd have to beat the game. Duh! I'd say that the difficulty of the game is pretty much right on. If it's too easy for you, play it on a harder difficulty. I'd rather have "fun" than "tough" any day. There isn't any online play for some reason, but that's never make-or-break for me since I prefer the single player experience on games like these. There is some weird online friend voucher thing that I haven't quite got working yet, but it seems pretty lame.

I hate this whore because she makes me shake my controller. I don't like shaking
things unless they are newborn babies. Then it is OK.

Wrap Up:
This is the best game currently available for the Wii, by far. A definite must have if you own the console and you actually like real videogames. My game lasted around 16 hours and I finished with about 81% since the percentage seems to depend mostly on the items you collect, mainly missile expansions and ship missile expansions (which are useless). I spent a lot of time looking for the expansions I did find! So if you want 100%, expect to spend a lot more game hours unless you use a guide. Also, if you get 100%, they show Samus naked in the ending on a beach with Reggie who is also naked. Buy it. Now. Unless you'd rather not.

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 09-12-2007 at 03:01 AM.
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