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Old 12-05-2007, 07:39 PM   #1379
Joe Redifer
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 20,149
Super Mario Galaxy
Nintendo Wii

Super Mario World, then Galaxy... I wonder
what they'll call the next game in the series.

The first Mario game which I ever tolerated much less enjoyed was the USA version of Super Mario Bros 2 (the Japanese version sucks ass and can rot in Hell). I never really paid much attention to Super Mario Bros 3 as it just didn't look as appealing to me as part 2 did. When the SNES came around, I fell in love with Super Mario World. After that I tried to play part 3 again, but it felt like a poor man's Super Mario World. The next Super Mario game that was made was Super Mario 64 (things like "Yoshi's Island" are not proper Super Mario games). Super Mario 64 blew me away with its expansive worlds and fun challenges. The camera pissed me off somewhat, but at the time I really didn't know any better. Then came Super Mario Sunshine for the Gamecube Nintendo. That game was complete ass. I hated it with a passion due to its extreme amount of suckage. I sold it and have never regretted it, though I am still in therapy due to the mental damage that crapfest of a game caused. I would rather play Shove It: The Warehouse Game starring Stevedore than Super Mario Sunshine. Memories of that game are bad because Nintendo failed so hard. I did not have high hopes for Super Mario Galaxy, especially since it was on the Wii and would therefore contain motion-sensing nonsense. Thankfully I expected the worst and got the best!

You need to give these greedy bastards a bunch of star bits before they will help you go to new places and save the universe.
Fortunately star bits are otherwise useless to you other than the fact that you can shoot and stun some enemies with them.

Story: 2/10
A game like this doesn't need much of a story. A game without an overly dramatic story which overshadows the gameplay? Can you handle it? Anyway, Princess Peach has invited you to some kind of 100 year gathering about stars or some lame shit like that. Mario is, of course, the very last one to arrive, that lazy fuck. The castle is suddenly ripped off of the ground by Bowser who plans to kidnap and repeatedly rape Princess Peach. The entire universe is in extreme danger! By sheer coincidence, Mario happens to be sucked away into space as well and wakes up on a strange planet which is about the size of my smallest bathroom. The entire civilization of this world consists of three bunnies. You catch them all in a game of hide and seek, so you are deemed competent enough to save the entire universe. You are sucked away to some floating thingy with a hot chick that lets you access her bedroom, among other places. She knows you only care about finding your special one and plans to help you. I am surprised that she doesn't want to sex you up, being that unless she is shoving lumas up her snatch, she isn't gettin' any.

Bee Mario is probably one of the best Mario "costumes" ever. You can't sting anyone (otherwise you'd die). Maybe in the next
game you'll be able to become Pissed Off Wasp Mario and repeatedly sting enemies to a slow, poisonous and painful death.

Graphics: 9/10
The graphics are really good for the Gamecube Nintendo. They approach and maybe even surpass Xbox quality (the first Xbox, not the 360). Mario almost always appears backlit and this helps things to look cool. The planets themselves often have really cool warping or other effects going on, and the textures look quite nice as well. The game runs at a solid 60 frames per second. There is a giant, fuzzy mole which reminds me of Donkey Kong Jungle Beat (or is it Donkey Konga?) with the fur, and I always thought that looked cool. The graphics here do not try to be realistic, and they don't need to be. The artwork and style is all very nice, and if you don't appreciate it then it is likely you don't have functioning eyeballs. There is definitely one thing this game has an abundance of which you don't see very much on the Xbox360 and Playstation 3... COLOR! That's right, actual color. Everything isn't grey and dark like most next-generation games which are usually either melodramatic combat games or games that take place in the future, etc. Regardless, they are largely monotone in their presentations, whereas Super Mario Galaxy is definitely not. The feeling of flight from planet to planet here is awesome thanks to the built-in scaling and rotation. There are lots of jaggies, but it is a small price to pay. This game would benefit from a higher resolution and larger polygon count (to make the curves smoother, etc), but I guess beggars can't be choosers. 16:9 and 480p are supported.

This boss was kind of a bitch for me because it was hard for me to figure out when I was centered over him. He still went down
and died at my skillful hands, though. Like most games these days, the bosses adapt their strategy as you fight them.

Sound: 8/10
The sound effects themselves are average, and some of the voices (namely Mario's) are extremely annoying. When you go to the disc channel in the Wii menu, "SUPER MARIO GALAXY!!!" is shouted in your face at about +12db. There is no way to skip this and you can't press start fast enough. You have absolutely no choice but to press the MUTE button until this has passed, that is unless you really want to get revenge on your ears for some reason. The music in this game is fantastic and quite different than any other Mario game. While a few old tunes do resurface here and there, the new stuff is mostly orchestral instead of the candyland happy happy tunes you usually expect from Mario games. Though the music is awesome during gameplay and truly fits the various worlds, the musical selections aren't exactly super-memorable. You won't find yourself humming these tunes, and I doubt that they'll ever resurface in future Mario games. In other words, the music is awesome, but not classic. The game attempts some Dolby Pro-Logic 2, but it is half-assed as a result of the wimpy nature of Dolby Pro-Logic 2. Almost everyone has 5.1 receivers now, Nintendo. There was no reason not to include that on the Wii, for fuck's sake.

The whole concept of gravity in this game is absolutely fantastic! There are also blue stars that you can grab on to in order to pull
Mario from place to place. It's pretty fun, and the sound that's made when you're doing this reminds me of a sick homeless person.

Gameplay: 9/10
The gameplay took me a bit to get used to as it was initially a tad disorientating. The nunchuck is required, there is no option to use the Gamecube controller. Anyway, the gameplay is very similar to Super Mario 64 where you must collect a crapload of stars by accomplishing different tasks. Some moves return from that game as well and new costumes have been added. You can turn into Bee Mario, which I surprisingly found quite awesome. Then there is Boo Mario, where you turn into Kirby with a mustache. This mode is also fun and you can go through certain walls. You also have Fireball Mario, Ice Mario, Invincible Mario, Flying Mario and lamest of all, Spring Mario. Yes, Spring Mario. The creative department must have been snorting ants off of Eddie Murphy's ass when they thought this one up. I hate it when I have to be Spring Mario. I also find it very hard to control Mario while he is swimming unless he has a turtle shell, especially when I try to turn around. Ug. Flying is a similar story. The camera pissed me off a few times... it likes to zoom out waaay too far on occasion, and on other occasions it situates itself to that Mario is running towards the screen which I always find awkward. Any attempt to adjust the camera is usually futile. It really isn't a huge issue, though.

Luigi constantly gets lost/trapped looking for stars for you. He is not able to get back, yet somehow he is able to send you
a letter and even attach photos of himself. What incompetence! I guess we know why Mario is the favorite son.

This game is great fun with a great many stages to play, however I don't think I want to collect all 120+ stars. Many stars require you to play levels you've already beaten, but only with one hit point or with a time limit or something else super-lame like that. The controls have you use the Wii Remote to point at the screen to gather "star bits". This definitely feels tacked on and really doesn't add anything to the gameplay, but they had to do it do justify the Wii's existence. You must waggle the remote to attack and to other things of the sort. This becomes second nature fairly quickly, but I still don't like waggling. Real controls are better. This game would be better if played on a real controller and the onscreen cursor nonsense removed. Beat the game with 120 stars and you will unlock a new playable character. Overall the difficulty is there, but it is never really frustrating or hard. Some of the later levels may scrape your anus, but overall this game is beaten with a small amount of persistence. That's fine. Games don't need to be 20+ hours on a single playthrough to have value to me.

The graphics are extremely well drawn and represent some crazy cool worlds. Just look at this picture... doesn't it
scream "I am super fun, play me now!" to you? It does to me. You can have your Tom Clancy, I'll take Mario, thank you.

Wrap up:
Super Mario Galaxy is something that seems very rare these days... it's a real videogame. It's not a first person shooter or a murder simulator or any of the "fancy" new genres we're so used to seeing over the past few years. It's an actual videogame where you play to have fun instead of worrying about some lame unfolding plot which is trying to be a movie or annoying tutorials. I imagine that this might be the best game the Wii will ever have. Videogames are truly awesome.
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