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Old 01-02-2005, 10:27 PM   #288
Joe Redifer
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 20,144
Welcome to the Altered Beast Spectacular Blowout! I review each version of everyone's favorite game of all time all on one page! The versions review in order are:
-Sega Genesis
-Sega Master System
-Nintendo Entertainment System
-PC Engine HuCard/CD-ROM
-Gameboy Advance
-Playstation 2 (click here to go to review)

Altered Beast

I'd like to see Sega do "Altered Breast" which
would obviously be a boob enlargement game.

In 1988 Team Shinobi decided to release a new game called Altered Beast. Team Shinobi (who had previously made "Shinobi" amazingly enough) decided on a slower paced game that was also much shorter. Sega told them that they has exactly 15.2 megabits (1.9 MB) to work with and absolutely NO MORE! So we get Altered Beast. You control a zombie (or maybe it's Jesus?) who has risen from the grave in order to rescue the daughter of the false god Zeus. Zeus must be pretty weak if he must rely on a corpse or two to save Athena. You'll play through 5 crazy rounds and change into 4 different beasts... all of which happen to be "altered". The evil Neff will try to defeat you, though he must be an underachiever considering the "ferocity" of his attacks.

You've got a snazzy outfit for a zombie.

Graphics: 8/10
For the time these graphics were pretty damed cool. Tons of color and smooth gradients made for a very nice looking image. There was ample usage of scaling and flying body parts. The animation is superb and really gives it that arcade (for the day) feel. The creature design is pretty cool, with lots of zombies and other formerly dead things roaming the screen. One thing about the graphics that chaps my ass is the scrolling. Although multiple layers are used, they all scroll at the same speed, which means ZERO parallax scrolling and next to no sense of depth. This is an arcade game! The Genesis version had parallax scrolling, why not the mighty original version? I have a weak theory on this, and I'll tell all in my Genesis review below. Why don't I tell you now? Because I like making you scroll!

Once you turn into this smilin' guy
be prepared to cause some major damage!

Sound: 7/10
Lots of voice goin' on in this game. Well, moderate amounts of voice anyway. When you start the game you'll hear "Rise from your grave". Yes, it's actually pronounced correctly. When you get to the boss of the stage, Neff will politely welcome you to your doom, which usually turns out to be his doom, but it's a warm gesture nonetheless. And you get grunts and screams when you are injured or die. There is also a separate scream just for falling down a hole in level 3. The other sounds like hits, smacks, crashes and splats are all average fair for Sega arcade games... which is good! The music to this game is actually pretty good, though it is very low in volume being an arcade game. After you turn into the altered beast, the music that plays until the end of the round is classic Sega; great melody!

The movie "Schindler's List" ripped this idea
off from Sega, with color over black and white.

Gameplay: 7/10
You may be amazed that I rated the gameplay so high being that the game only has 5 levels, moves slowly and isn't revolutionary. But you need to remember my pro-Sega bias and that requires me to "grade with a curve" on such games. Not buying that? OK. But for 50 cents you could do faaar worse in an arcade. You get two-player simultaneous action and 4 different beasts to turn into, all of which have different powers and are fun to control. Except maybe the bear. I'm not too fond of that damn bear. The game moves along slowly and you must collect orbs to become the beast for that level. After the first orb you get a little bit bigger and your shirt rips to expose your macho chest. The second orb makes you the most manliest of all manly men and your head becomes the size of an apple. You are so sexy that only your underwear remains. The 3rd orb takes you so far beyond manly that you must turn into a beast! Once you do become the beast, Neff will turn into the boss and fight you. If you approach him while only a crappy human, he'll walk away insulted that you would dare approach him that way. I don't know why he doesn't try to fight you like that being as he'd have a far greater chance of victory. Neff must be a dumbass. You fight and destroy him and move on to the next level (surprise surprise!).

It's arcadey-good fun for the most part, but there is one thing that really annoys me. And that's bouncing off of the enemies. White wolves carry the orbs that are required to power yourself up. And when they appear on the screen you are often too busy bouncing back and forth between bunches of other enemies to even get to the wolves. And there really isn't anything you can do about it other than die and hope that you reappear elsewhere on the screen. Some of the enemies have a better reach than you do, and defeating them can be an exercise in patience. But that's probably the only exercise you ever get, fat ass! Oh well. I also wish I could turn into a unique beast during the 5th and final level, but nope. At least they turn me into the best beast. Still this is a fun game to play and I enjoy myself as I play it, and that's why it gets a 7 and not a 6.

You think that snake will eat that purple creature from Golden Axe?

Wrap up:
The best version of Altered Beast, and by far the closest version to the arcade, if not better. Waitaminute... this IS the arcade!

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 07-11-2005 at 10:21 PM.
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