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Old 11-07-2004, 12:07 AM   #16
Joe Redifer
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Denver, Colorado
Posts: 20,147
Katamari Damacy
Playstation 2

Oh. My. God. Leave your heterosexuality at the door, as it won't be needed here. This game is enough to turn any straight man gay. Besides that, it is a very interesting and fun off-the-wall (to say the least) game with simple controls, no combos or anything stupid like that, and lots and lots of pure wackiness. The world needs more games like this. But perhaps just a little less gay would suffice. But it does add to the humor.

The cows flee as The King of all Gayness attacks!

You play as the Prince of all Gayness.

Story: 8/10
The story basically revolves around how the King of all Cosmos accidentally destroyed all of the stars. And he is so lazy that he makes you fix it all. You roll crap up and the crap becomes stars. Who could want a better premise than that? Not me. But there is an ongoing story within the game about a family who is going on a trip to meet their dad or some such nonsense. The little girl "feels the cosmos" and freaks out whenever you create a constellation. The little boy is very observant and pays attention to the super detailed reports on the news about the missing stars. The mom is an obnoxious bitch who doesn't believe a single word coming out of the kids' mouths. She is the type of person who would probably be hit by a bus for neglecting to look both ways before attempting to cross a street. The story is told in cutscenes that last anywhere from 10 seconds to about 45 seconds or so. They always end with a cliffhanger and are "to be continued...." which makes you want to complete the next stage even more so you can find out "what happens next"! What does this have to do with the game itself? Absolutely nothing at all!

Even the Queen is not actually a "she". That's right!
Notice the giant white erection "she" has as "she" stares
at the King from behind.

This crazy panda admires his own ejaculation puddle
as a GIANT MARIJUANA LEAF hovers above him!

Graphics: 7/10
The graphics really suck, but that's what makes them so great! Very simple polygons are used. Much detail went in to making sure that lots of gayness shines through. There are a ton of cool objects to roll over and collect. I think the pictures here in this review speak for themselves. Unfortunately this game does not support either 16:9 widescreen nor 480p (progressive scan). It's the PS2, so I guess I should expect it not to support cool things that that very often.

The game includes a trip to Michael Jackson's Neverland Ranch.

The King gives off instructions as
his son stares at his giant bulge.

The sounds are cool with people screaming as you collect them and the like. But what really shines in this game is the music, which is off-the-wall crazy goodness! Some of the songs are in pure Japanese, but you won't care. But usually the tunes are unusually catchy. Your friends would point and laugh at you if they caught you listening to the soundtrack. No problem, just let them play this game. The game will help them accept and embrace homosexuality just like it did with you, and now you'll be able to have "fun" with your friends in ways you never thought possible! Plus they'll all like the music as well.

You get to roll up tons of stuff including videogame systems
like the one straight ahead. It is a combination of an 8-bit
Famicom, a Sega SG-1000 system, and a Playstation 2.

You can eventually collect things like cats, cows, homes, and even tall buildings!

Gameplay: 8/10
All you really have to worry about here is rolling your ball around and trying to make it bigger by rolling over stuff and adding it to your collection. There are other things like presents you can find, but who cares? Not me, and neither do you. The first 6 stages plus most of the constellations are pretty easy. But by the 7th star, it gets pretty damn hard. They give you a short amount of time to grow your ball all the way to 6 meters from about 50 centimeters at the start. Damn hard! There are only 9 stars to make, plus the moon and some constellations and the like. Once you complete a stage, the King is displeased because he always wants things BIGGER than they are. Always always always. Hmmmm... Anyway, the controls are intuitive, but still not all that great. It's hard to control your ball in a precise manner since you must use both analog sticks at the same time, like in Super Monkeyball (a game whose controls absolutely DESTROY the controls in this game). So the controls can be a bit frustrating at times. There are a few moves like dashing and jumping that you'll have to use here and there, but mostly you'll probably forget that you even have these abilities. This is an extremely fun game to play, and can be quite addictive. It can also cause motion sickness if you play for too long. It's only $20, so that makes it a must buy!

After you complete a level, the King attacks you with a giant rainbow
that he shoots from his mouth. Gee I wonder what that means.

This game is FABULOUS!!!!

Wrap up:
If you can get past all of the gay innuendo (right-wing conservatives need not apply), then this is a really great game. The quirky fun will have to laughing the whole way through. Buy it. Now. And hope for more quirky and ingenious titles to come to the US.

Last edited by Joe Redifer; 11-24-2004 at 04:46 PM.
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