View Full Version : errr, a lil' advice? (mature topic)
06-05-2003, 09:09 PM
more of an adult topic but i think most members can handle it...
is it naive to expect a girl to tell you if she has an std? that is, you're going out with a girl (or a boy...) and you trust them, should you expect them to tell you if they have anything before you go all the way? i can understand why someone wouldn't tell you (out of fear of rejection which = no sex) but at the same time they do have an std, they sort of have an obligation to tell their partners... don't they?
you're always supposed to use protection but it's not a guarantee that you won't get anything (especially with very contaigeous viruses like herpes).
and *if* you do get anything is the relationship over or should you try and work it out? i don't think i would want to continue seeing someone if they gave me an std... =\
anyways, any advice this way would be most appreciated.
06-05-2003, 10:59 PM
I think you should talk to the one about ur relationship. See how he/she thinks about this whole relationship thing.
But i think you should definately tell, cause if u reall love ur partner or what so ever), u wouldnt wanan get him/her infected. And if u guys sure, u both love eachother really much, then u guys should understand it...
06-06-2003, 05:10 AM
yah. Basically its serious and SHOULD be told. If they dont then they are lying and holding something back from you thats very important. Its also a big threat to the persons health by not knowing. So basically if they dont say anything then they dont deserve to be in a relationship with.
06-06-2003, 05:57 AM
Essentially what they said. Things like STDs can affect both of you, so it's important to let your partner know before you do anything. And testing is also a good thing. Just because you think your sure you have nothing, it's always best to test anyways.
And if you do get infected unknowingly, it is your judgement call to decide how you feel about this person and just how much you're willing to go through for them. You can hate a person for lying, but you cannot hate a person just because they have an STD.
06-06-2003, 05:08 PM
hmm, thanks for the advice guys. this sort of thing is akward to talk about.
the best way to know would probably be to just ask them (a casual, "have you been tested?" won't sound too confrontational, right?)... and pray that the protection against it is as effective as they say. hopefully, by being totally honest they won't take it personally and understand my concerns...
anyways, i'm glad no one's said "if you're so concerned then don't do it." i want to, but i'm just nervous as hell about it...
06-06-2003, 05:30 PM
You might also want to tell them how important this issue is to you. Don't pretend to act casual about it, just be completely honest and truthful about your feelings and concerns. Just remember that STDs could really affect the rest of your life, especially if you contract the incurable ones.
06-06-2003, 06:26 PM
If I'm going to do anything with a girl, I expect her to tell me if she has an STD. And I get tested annually. Regardless, always wear a rubber.
Talk to your partner, if you suspect something, then make sure you get the right answer. She/He should give it to you truthfully, and if they don't then remember that telling your partner about what could happen if you two continue your relationship is not a good sign, and is a reflection of their lack of respect to you.
Good Luck :)
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