View Full Version : Loempiavreter's Shite Reviews

08-03-2010, 12:46 PM
Yes Im doing reviews now... :spinface: My taste is shite so take a look at all this nonsense. Cinema, TV, Videogames, Graphic Novels anything good. Was already writing the review below for kungfucinema, but I'll post a slightly edited version here it here too:

Title: The Evil Karate (alt. title: 7 Monsters of Poison)
Genre: Martial Arts (Punch & Block)
Year: 1971
Country of origin: Taiwan
Reviewed print: Flashlegs Rare, DVD

Directed by: Chang Chin Han
Starring: Cheung Ching Ching, O Yau-Man, Chiang Nan, Kon Ching Ha.

Of all the genre's derived from the Chinese martial arts cinema, "punch & block" (or "bashers" in the US) is the most undervalued of all. In the UK "punch & block" movies where often appetizers for the main act; "swordsplay" which the UK scene (and at that time was the biggest western scene) appreciated the most. It was mostly the US scene that appreciated this genre in "Grindhouses" around the country. Late 70s the genre seemed to have made way for the "shapes" genre, the swingy arms (except of Bruce Lee of course) from punch & block movies are now replaced by tight choreographed kung fu shapes.

The Evil Karate is a CLASSIC in the "punch & block" genre and a definite example of why a Punch & Block movie can be just as good as any "shapes" classic, it's also very very rare (no entry on IMDB). Luckily Flashlegs Kung Fu Cinema has brought us a Widescreen print with english subtitles.

The "white haired fox villain" is a popular sort of character in Chinese martial arts cinema (and maybe the most popular sort of character in the scene), made popular by Hwang Jang Lee. In this movie O Yau-Man ( http://www.hkmdb.com/db/people/view.mhtml?id=14617&display_set=eng ) plays a golden faced fox villain called, King Hades Yen. And he is part of what makes this movie so good he absolutely owns this movie with his bad ass character and incredible fight scenes. He might be a bit on the chubby side, but this bad bro can fight. But I will go deeper on that subject later on.

The big chief himself, King Hades Yen (O Yau-Man)

A good chunk of the pre-new wave Chinese martial arts cinema follow a certain routine to move the plot along; Injustice>Training>Revenge. This movie is no different:
The Devil's Gate gang is led by King Hades Yen, below him are his top subordinates; The 7 Monsters of Poison (I count 9 of them!) each of these characters is basically some sort of comic book villain come to life each with their signature weaponary and skills (as is King Hades).

The 9 members of "The 7 Monsters of Poison"

King Hades Yen tells them to get rid of Lo, who is of possession of jade emblem that can unlock a scroll of a legendary fighting style, Bare Hand Skill. Bare Hand Skill resembles the Japanese art of Karate with it's Karate chops and is probably why this movie is called The Evil Karate. This bare hand skill might prove a nuisance to the Devil's Gate gang so Lo must be killed.

Lo (Shaw Luo Hui) & Chen Sen (Kai Pao Yu)

Lo managed to escape the first assault of the 7 Monsters of Poison, which left his family dead. The heavily wounded Lo is found by a young girl named Chen Sen, who brings him home to her family. BIG MISTAKE, the 7 Monsters of Poison come to finish their job and in the process kill the family and their servants of the young girl. Of course Lo and Chen Sen managed to escape and Lo promises he will take revenge for what the Devil's Gate Gang has done to them. He plans to do this by finding the scroll that teaches the Bare Hands Skill of which he alone can unlock with his jade emblem. And so the 2 begin their travel with the Devil's Gate gang hot on their trail...

Looks like Michael Jackson post-surgery

Not exactly Shakespeare, but this is an old school Chinese martial arts flick and it's got all the ingredients for a hot stew of exploding fist. There are many fight scenes of the Devil's Gate gang against Lo & Chen Sen and the upright heroes that come to defend them (including another fisherman fighter who fights with a fishing rod... again!). A good deal of those are in fast forward, but maybe because of that and the lightning on the set it looks very, surreal. And as stated earlier O Yau-Man is the real deal in this movie, pulling of some cool moves and cheap tricks that fits his evil fox character perfectly. The only fighting style that look dull is the Bare Hand technique itself which consist of small jumpkick and karate chops, but you won't see much of it anyway.

Catching knifes with your mouth like an American Ninja, but this time for real

Choreography-wise, this is an early 70s punch & block movie so it doesn't really have the imaginative choreography of the shapes era, but it's devastating flurry of punches and kicks are definately fun to watch and thanks to the surreal look when fighting it works out perfectly, mix in the amazing fighting skill of O Yau-Man, and this makes one of the better examples of "punch & block".

The pacing is good and moves fast from fight to fight and luckily there is no sight of annoying Chinese comedy. This is just brutal Kung Fu action.

Costume wise, is pretty good for a Taiwanese production. The Devil's Gate gang certainly measures up in looks (especially King Hades Yen) as the top gangs of the HK Shaw Brothers production like The Death Valley gang (Kid With The Golden Arm), The Iron Boat gang and the 13 eagles (The Avenging Eagles), The Chi Sha Society of Killers (To Kill An Evil Mastermind). A neat detail is the some of the characters have a bigger wardrobe then in most movies, which results in some alternative costumes for some characters. The gang lacks in the exotic weaponary department though, going for more "realistic" weaponary.

Set properties are suprisingly lacking painted backgrounds in faked forest in studio sets which where most common in that time and going for real trees and dirt. The locations from Taiwan look quite beatiful (especially the lakes) so a definte top decision to do that. The Devil's Gate gang hideout was the best of the studio sets that appear with special props to the the throne of King Hades Yen.

Will it attract new blood to the genre? Probably not, the best starting ground for young ´uns. And it´s comic book style might not be in line with everyone´s taste plus the fact that it's quite old. But for genre vets, this is an absolute blast from start to beginning. If you dig evil hearted villains with tight fighting skills stealing the show over the main characters then this is a CLASSIC.

What others have to say:
How classic? I've actually got two copies. One's an original tape, raw. The other is letterboxed, subtitled. I'll be curious to see what the Flashlegs version looks like. One of my fave films by far from the period.

Eagles Claw Champ
Now you are talking this is period piece, rough house, bad boy, showpiece classic's for real and I think you are gonna drive us crazy here flashlegs.

I'm looking forward to this one without my eyes closed mate!!!!

For all you youngsters out there dont buy this movie you are not ready for this one its totally oldschool

It is a major classic and another movie that is plain fun. It has early apperances by and Tsai Hung, Chang Tao as well. The action is enough to keep people intersted and this movie has alot of strange characters and scenes.

Source: http://www.flkcinema.com/Posts.asp?ForumID=6&RoomID=114&PostID=850&Submit=Start

This is how you lock up your scrolls

Paper exe
08-03-2010, 01:25 PM
That's not even a video game! "Loempiavreter's Shite Reviews” had been disapproved!!

08-03-2010, 01:34 PM
That's not even a video game! "Loempiavreter's Shite Reviews” had been disapproved!!

Cinema, TV, Videogames, Graphic Novels anything good. Was already writing the review below for kungfucinema, but I'll post a slightly edited version here it here too:

I've seen other do other movie reviews in their reviews too, it just happens I already had a movie review done so I post that first.

Some Belt Scroll from the arcade reviews coming up.

Paper exe
08-03-2010, 02:32 PM
You mean DS's? That's different the moment I tried to disapprove his, he toke a strong stand and prevented me. Remember by that time he was a mod and alucard quite his mod statute. I had no other choice.

Justice cannot win all the time.

08-03-2010, 06:07 PM
lol paper

08-05-2010, 05:16 PM
Title: Kabuki-Z
Genre: Belt Scroll Action Game
Year: 1988
Country of origin: Japan
Reviewed print: MAME

Developer: Taito

I thought I knew all the Belt Scroll Action Game (or Beat'em up as we know 'em in the west) titles available on MAME. Then I stumbled on this title, Kabuki-Z, which I've never heard of before.

It was released 1 year after Double Dragon and 1 year before Final Fight, so on first sight it doesn't look bad at all, the colour palette reminds me of Megadrive/Genesis titles but just look at those big sprites. Then you start to move, and you'll notice that there is barely any animation in the spritework. Your character just floats from right to left, ok there is some small animation in the in-game's avatar right foot which might suggest that foot is shuffeling the in-game avatars body forward. But it doesn't look natural at all, especially with the moving speed used in this game. Shuffeling forward at a natural pace might've been way to slow, but this just looks weird.


Control wise its a bit of a mess, but I can't tell for sure if that's the fault of the game or bad emulation. There's some weird block that prevents me to move diagonally in a smooth way, but I suspect that's an emulation problem. On to the fighting system: on the arcade instructions (which I included on top of the review, as a replacement for the flyer/cover) you can see that your avatar is capable of performing 3 stances; High, Mid, Low. These are performed by combining the block button and an direction with your stick.

At first switching stances seems unnecessary, your enemy grunts die in 1 hit and are barely a threat to your avatar. Then the mid-boss comes along and the difficulty level jumps quite a bit. Now the game pushes you to mix up stances, because the (mid)Bosses will block your attacks, a lot. Mix in a jump, performed by pushing the Attack and Block button at the same time, into your attack pattern and you might stand a chance. And that seems to be your whole arsenal against your enemies. If you die you'll start the stage over, so there's no way you'll be coin mashing yourself till the ending screen.


The stages are fairly short and contain a small lot of enemies before you face the mid boss and finally the boss (or a mid boss that transforms into the stage boss). So boss fights where probably meant to be the focus of the game, nothing wrong with that, Boss fights are my favorite part of games. The boss character designs are quite weird and fun. The first pair don't seem that interesting, a Kabuki who spits spirits at you and a Samurai (armor?). But when the next mid boss, a japanese swordsman, is defeated a skeleton scorpion-like creature pops up and transforms into an armor for the swordsman as he transforms into the stage's boss, pretty neat if you ask me. Next mid-boss continued on this trend as the mid-boss was an caveman looking man, when you killed him 2 kid swordsman (and women?) burst out of his back ready to fight you.

Some of the bosses and their little animation sequences

So is there anything that explain why the protagonist has to fight his way through all these bosses? Well... it seems the game is devoid of any storyline at all. No narration in the attract mode to tell you the background details and I couldn't find an arcade flyer which might tell us what the hell is going on in here? And WTF it is, especially halfway through out of the blue your in game avatar changes from Japanese swordsmen into a barbarian-like warrior.

I can only make a guess what's going on, in the title screen you'll see a samurai commit hara-kiri. My guess is that the game's avatar is the spirit of that samurai and has to fight a way through the underworld, or something in that direction. Not that story is important, especially for a Belt Scroll title.

Controls clumsy, lacks animation, lacks proper grunts to fight, not a whole lot of attacks... so It's not really a good game by all means. Some of the bosses are exotic and interesting stuff his happening in little animation sequences, but that's about it for this game.


What others have to say:
Seems this is the first write up about the game

08-05-2010, 05:34 PM
Looks awesome

08-06-2010, 06:35 PM
Kabuki-Z "looks" really cool. I really like the graphics. Nice review.

08-13-2010, 09:32 AM
Coming up a dozen or so Korean & Taiwanese PC game reviews! Mostly Belt Scroll Action Games, Fighters and 1 Simulation RPG series (looks like Shining Force a lot).

PC gaming can be awesome (inna 90s arcade/console stylee)!

09-14-2010, 11:58 PM
I didn't like how the screen moved forward all the time and then paused every time you attacked, for some reason it really bugged me. I ended up stopping before becoming a barbarian though. Always good to hear about arcade games I haven't tried yet.

07-19-2013, 07:32 AM
The hell is this? Kids bursting out of dispatched demon bodies? Sprite-based, blood-soaked swords and flying, decapitated, demon heads? Bizarre, scorpion, armor, voodoo things? Death-charging chess pieces? You call that a game? Gimme a mallet-wielding, obese Mr. T....then we'll talk.