View Full Version : That Jokes Thread ?

Black Ace
10-01-2002, 03:05 AM
Post some humorous jokes here. No profanity however. Here's a kick off.

Your Momma's so fat her dress size is "Xbox".

10-01-2002, 12:26 PM
I got one -

What did the snail say as it rode on the turtle's back?



10-01-2002, 01:21 PM
Damn...i only know Profane jokes!(expect some crappy ones)

Drunken Savior
10-03-2002, 04:15 PM
So....any joke is ok if it has no profanity?

10-08-2002, 04:54 AM
This was in the Washington Post... the title of the article was ?Best Comeback Line Ever.?

In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday. The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch when he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview.

Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need".

"Guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said Officer Taylor. "I walked up to (Lawrence) and he's... just working away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realise that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn... is it midnight already?'"

Black Ace
10-08-2002, 10:48 AM
LOL :haha:

Great article Alucard!

11-11-2003, 03:26 PM
I'm bored, so I decided to bumb up this old thread, to spread some of my comical brilliance.

What does a roof and a book have in common?

Neither of them is a wrench! Hurhur!

11-12-2003, 05:54 AM
I do not know if you will like this one? IT IS LONG.

A poor Egyptian man traveled to work in the United States. While he was looking for a job a thief steals all his money and kicks his ass. So he had to work double shifts to make-up for all the money he lost. He lived a very hard life for the past few months he couldn't take it any more. So he went into a bar to drink and forget.... So he finds a man wearing a suit. He asks him " You look like a happy rich guy way are you here". The man answers" I'm sad because there is nothing I can not do!? The Egyptian answers "give me an example". The man in the suit replies ?I can jump from the tallest building in the city and I will not die!". ?What this is impossible if you can do it I will do it and live too".

So they go on top of the tallest building and the American jumps. AHHHHH! BOOM. Nothing happened the man is ok!
The Egyptian said ?No this is not possible.....EGYPTIAN POWER". And he jumps. AHHHHH! BOOM.....He died!!.......................

The American goes back to the bar and finds the bartender so pissed. He asks him ?why are you so pissed". The bartender replies" He is the 5th foreigner you have killed this month SUPERMAN!"