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Sinful Sam
03-15-2007, 07:34 AM
From what I remember you get a star when you counter an attack or if you’re able to find an open hit at the opponent’s stance pattern. You turn pink after your opponent blocks your attacks a few times. When you turn pink you can only dodge; after a few dodges you regain your stamina.

Nindalf
03-15-2007, 07:47 AM
Nintendo makes it even more jacked up by adding stars and hearts. I have no fucking clue what they do, although my number of hearts seems to decrease for no reason at a constant pace and when I press the START button I go into to some super-massive-combo mode or some dumbshit crap like that. A star will often appear over the head of my opponent when I hit them, not sure why. Sometimes I will randomly turn pink and lose all control of my character. I can't block, I can barely move, and I can't recover. Seriously, when this happens you might as well just put the controller down. It's bullshit, I tell you.

for a while i wondered how anyone could dislike this game that much, but after reading the review i discovered the problem. you just suck at it.

Vegetto
03-15-2007, 02:46 PM
awesome game, love it to death

Joe Redifer
03-15-2007, 03:15 PM
for a while i wondered how anyone could dislike this game that much, but after reading the review i discovered the problem. you just suck at it.
True enough. However when it comes to fighting games I was weaned on Street Fighter, not shitty boxing. I have never played a boxing game that I liked. Though if the game was as great as Nintendo fanboys claim it is, I should love it to death before I even let go of the POWER button the first time I turn it on, right? Right?

Vegetto
03-16-2007, 01:08 AM
a fighting game? i have never considered punch out a fighting game

Nindalf
03-16-2007, 04:27 AM
i consider it sex i can have.

Chronos
03-16-2007, 03:45 PM
Watch in horror (or amusement) as they are unable to cope with an opinion of the game that does not lavish as much praise as they think it should have. Ninja Gaiden Xbox fans are the same way. Of course Sega fans are perfectly OK and cool all the time.


Blasphemous!

:P

Nano Fox
03-16-2007, 05:09 PM
lmao that's where the nigga stole my bike came from, oh god mike tyson ftw!

eastx
03-22-2007, 02:46 PM
Another great review. I agree with you about Punch Out. I've never played the SNES game, but memorizing patterns ad-nauseum isn't my kind of game.

I also passed on Ninja Gaiden for Xbox because like most Team Ninja games, it is stupidly hard. Itagaki is not a true gamer (despite voicing his opinions on many games) and does not understand that games are for entertainment rather than punishment.

Alexander
03-23-2007, 01:37 AM
True story about the Genesis version Mercs here. A long time friend of mine was in town recently and we used to play Mercs at the local arcade all the time, back in the day. The local used movie/music/video game store by my house had a complete copy of Mercs for the Genesis that had been tempting me for weeks. When my buddy got into town, we stopped by the used video game store and picked up the copy of Mercs, all excited to relive the great two player co-op goodness of Mercs. We got home, grabbed a few beers, inserted Mercs into the cart slot and powered up the Sega CDX. I then proudly placed the Mercs box on the bookshelf, along with my growing collection of Genesis and Sega CD games. I grabbed my two six button controllers, placed one in my buddies hand and the other remained in my hand. We sat down on the couch, took a few sips of beer and then I hit the start button. Hmmm....where is the 2-player option? Well, I told my buddy that I'll just start the game and that he could probably hit start and join right in, just like in the arcade. Hmmm...that didn't work. I turned off the CDX and powered it up agian, as I just must of missed the 2-player co-op option in the menu. Hmmm...still couldn't find it...I better check the instruction booklet. I picked up the Mercs box and there on the bottom left hand corner was a little 1-player only logo... :irked: ... :angry: ....
<fists raised in the air>Noooooo! Damn you Sega and Capcom!!!!!
:P

Oh man, that sucks. What happened next?

eastx
05-20-2007, 08:44 PM
Speaking of buying Mercs expecting it to be multiplayer, a friend and I both bought River City Ransom EX on GBA for the multiplayer... What a drag that it didn't have any!

Joe, how've you been? Hope you'll have more reviews soon.

Joe Redifer
05-20-2007, 09:11 PM
New review coming soon! Just not sure what it will be yet.

(HINT: For those of you from the future, my review will have already been written. Simply scroll down to see what it ends up being! Oh I can't wait until I am in the future and can do that, too!)

Alexander
06-06-2007, 01:59 AM
So...

Joe Redifer
06-06-2007, 02:23 AM
Princess Crown
7/10
Sega Saturn

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/princesscrown_box.jpg
If you like purple, you'll rock out to this cover.

Princess Crown is one of those games that can go for close to $100 on eBay. My copy just kind of fell into my lap for free thanks to a friend who was giving away boxloads of free brand new Princess Crowns at the time. Did you get yours? I had never even heard of the game the first time I was holding it in my hand. I put it in my Saturn and was bombarded with a ton of Japanese text. I put it away to try later. But everyone on the internet said it was the best game ever made, so I decided to give it another try.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/princesscrown1.jpg
This game destroys Soul Calibur when it comes to battles! Well, actually not.

Story: ?/10
The game is in Japanese, so I have no fucking clue what it is about. But from what I can gather, your name is Gradriel and your mom kicked some demon's ass in the beginning of the game. Everyone was happy. Then she had some dude penetrate her vagina with his penis and you were born. Then somehow she died because the graphic full-screen animated sex scene is the last we see of her (with the exception of a picture that hangs in the castle of the sex act). You are crowned princess or queen or whatever. Then you are sent to bed. You are like "Fuck this shit. I'm the god damn princess and I'm saving the world!", then you get dressed in your purple princess duds (crown included) and sneak out of the castle with the help of some fairy bitch. Along the way you save children and make friends with a few other people who usually show up to save your sorry ass. Later, the world is saved and everyone thinks that you are one hot piece of 13-year old ass. Pedophiles rejoice. This is your game.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/princesscrown2.jpg
You can talk to the ducks in some of the towns. That kicks ass.

Graphics: 8/10
This is a 2D game. 2D games kick ass. For the most part, 2D games wipe the floor with 3D games. You can have your polygons. Polygons are for pussies. Only people who like AIDS like polygons. Anyway the graphics here kind of show off the Saturn's god-like 2D powers. Unfortunately scrolling is only limited to 3 layers. Pfft. The Saturn can do way better. Then again this is Atlus. What do they know about super awesomeness? Maybe a little, but not enough! The graphics are all drawn very well though. I like that. Lots of detail. I like that as well. And when I like things, the score improves. The animation isn't bad, about what you'd expect from a company who chose the name "Atlus" to represent themselves. As with all RPG-type games, every town has the same people as the last town, at least visually. The princess herself has a dress which kind of makes her look like a pumpkin, especially when she squats.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/princesscrown3.jpg
You select one of 8 items by rotating the crap so that what you
want to use is in the bitch's outstretched hand. Genius!

Sound: 7/10
There's really not much to the sound. No voices, the sound effects are minimal, and the music is perhaps a bit above average. But again, this is Atlus. What do they know? Apparently their sound abilities have improved over the years, however. There are some good music tracks here and there, and it is all red book so you can pop it into your CD player and boogie down. The game is even in stereo, with the bitch's footsteps walking left to right during some loading screens. It will blow you away!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/princesscrown4.jpg
Slice up that little witch with your super moves!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/princesscrown5.jpg
Gradriel freaks out when she sees a hot naked fairy appear before her.
The makers of the fabulous Stormlord (http://ryangenno.tripod.com/sub_pages/VGCS-RazorSoft.htm) would be proud.

Gameplay: 7/10
It's an action RPG. You wander around towns and shit talking to people gaining information that you can't read since it is in some other retarded language that's not freakin' English. Seriously, English is the best language (I wouldn't speak it if it weren't). There is no use for other languages. All other languages should be destroyed immediately. OK, now then... you can also buy stuff and save in towns. You can wander the countryside and random battles will occur. The fairy bitch will give you your huge-ass sword out of nowhere. Honestly, where the hell is the sword the rest of the time? It's so big it couldn't easily be hidden. There probably is an in-game explanation, but of course it's in Japanese. The fighting scenes can be kind of cool. You have a few different moves which you can do, almost Street Fighter style. Unfortunately it seems to be very slow in this department... as in not responsive enough. If you pull off a super finishing move, you'll get a "sunburst" like many Street Fighter games. Kind of cool! Fighting the Goblins sucks ass because there are 3 of them and the unresponsiveness really shines when you fight them. You have a bag that can carry up to 8 items. To carry more you need to get another bag, but I have never been able to figure out quite how that works. You also eat lots of food to restore your strength and shit. Each food item usually lasts about 3 bites. Some foods you must cook. If you have a pan you can "combine" it with a raw food item to get a cooked food item. Each pan seems to be able to be used only once, and some pans don't seem to have any use. Pisses me off. You can also have pubs cook food for a fee. There are lots of items to use, and I'll be witch's nipple if I can figure out what most of them do. Many obviously increase some of your abilities in battle, but they have a limited-time effect. Lame. Still, once you get the hang of things the game is fairly fun. It lasts over 20 hours or so, then you can play as other characters (selectable by choosing different books in the beginning). This game would have rated an 8 at least if it had been in the one tr00 proper language... English!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/princesscrown6.jpg
The first of multiple dragons you must fight. Notice the screen fills
with words that are used to impress you in fighting games like "COUNTER!"
I'm impressed.

Wrap up:
So, like, I hear there is a spiritual sequel to this game for the PlayStation 2 called Odin Sphere or some shit.

Sinful Sam
06-09-2007, 06:23 AM
The game looks neat. I been wanting to try out Odin Sphere. The 2D graphics just look awesome.

Northeastmonk
06-11-2007, 01:44 AM
Odin Sphere would of been great if it was a side scroller. Running in circles got real boring. The backdrops got repetitive too. It had great english voice-overs though. Princess Crown must have had more flavor to it. Good review.

Alexander
06-12-2007, 01:52 AM
By the way, I love purple.

FinalSolace2
06-16-2007, 09:45 AM
if i remember correctly i think i played odin sphere on demo- was perhaps in my top ten games list- just for the demo, but i lost it and forgot the name-

the main character from the beginning is like a your bush boy tarzan with hairy hair or something, and at the end of the first level you reach a villege with elders or elves or something like that.- it was such a cool game. kirby-like i could describe it but better.

Joe Redifer
06-16-2007, 04:40 PM
Samurai Shodown II
5/10
Neo Geo

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shodown2_box.jpg
I bought the Japanese version since it
was much cheaper... thank Buddha!

SNK has piss-poor designers and programmers, and this 202 mega game is testament to that fact. Every SNK-programmed fighter I have played has been extremely cheap and at least somewhat difficult to control. SNK fighting games do not welcome novice players, only the XtReMe hardcore are allowed to play. So basically the design of their games did not allow their fanbase to grow. Brilliant!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shodown2_1.png
This game is fucking retarded.

Graphics: 7/10
The graphics aren't bad, but like the majority of Neo Geo games they're not particularly colorful, either. The Neo Geo supposedly had over 65,000 colors with the ability of putting over 4,000 of them onscreen at once, but you'd never know it by looking at their games. That's twice as many total colors as the SNES, and 16 times as many on screen at once, yet somehow the SNES raped the Neo Geo in terms of colors. SNK just didn't try very hard, I assume. The animation is acceptable and I can't fault it, though it isn't mindblowing in any way. It was certainly good enough back when this game was new. There is some full screen scaling when the characters get too far apart and it is fairly smooth. A ton of detail is lost when the screen shrinks, obviously. The backgrounds are drawn OK. Nothing really stands out too much or is really in any way memorable.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shodown2_2.png
When the screen scales out, everything becomes a
jumbled mess of pixels that looks like ass.

Sound: 7/10
Lots of voices here, pretty much all in Japanese. I thought English was a required language for them in elementary schools over there. Those fags, they should be speaking English. Their language is obsolete. Anyway the quality of the voices and shit like that is good. The music is mostly atmospheric, and most of it sounds exactly the same (random Japanese instruments being plucked randomly with absolutely no melody whatsoever). There are so many Genesis and SNES soundtracks that kick the ass of this game. I thought the Neo Geo was supposed to be Bigger, Badder and Better. Guess not.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shodown2_3.gif
None of the characters have much individuality to
them. Like the music, they all seem the same to me.

Gameplay: 4/10
Playing this game is where the pain really comes in. It's way too difficult in single player mode. You have high and low blocks which in itself is extraordinarily gay, and every time you attack your opponent they grab and throw you. If you both attack each other at the exact same time, guess whose attack will count and whose doesn't? I'm generally pretty damn good at fighting games, but this one just sucks so much that I don't even want to play it. When your POW meter fills up, I think you can do a special attack, but you never get the time to press all of those directions plus the button required. It's like a full reverse half circle then forward plus A or D or some shit depending on the character. By the time you are even a quarter of the way through that, you are getting slashed or thrown. The game is not fun to play. No wonder Capcom makes money whereas SNK is bankrupt. If only they had made better games. SNK fans love the hell out of this game. But they have to. There's not a ton of stuff to choose from on the Neo Geo.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shodown2_4.png
You can lose your weapons 'n shit. Curiously, if you want
to do a lot of damage, use your weakest attack again and again.
Medium and strong attacks rarely connect due to shitty design.

Wrap Up:
I really hate SNK fighting games. They're actually pretty good in two-player mode where the odds are even, but they are way too cheap in single player mode which was the basis of this review. I guess if you were weaned on SNK fighting games and never played a Capcom fighting game, this would appear to have quality. I laugh at SNK because they are bankrupt. Ha ha SNK! LOL @ U. The rest of the world laughs at you because you failed... HARD. The game gets an additional point due to the nonsensical Engrish in the game. Sometimes I don't even know what they are trying to say, as the text is often not even in complete sentences. Poor SNK, couldn't even afford an American to properly translate their text into coherent thoughts. But that's a good thing, I think. Engrish is funny. It's like it was written by a 5-year old, and I laugh at 5-year olds.

Northeastmonk
06-18-2007, 12:49 AM
Review the Neo-Geo! Since I hate emulators

Joe Redifer
06-18-2007, 11:56 AM
I don't think I've played quite a large enough portion of the Neo Geo's library to review the entire system. There are lots of crappy fighting games and even some good ones. Believe it or not there are many games on the system that are NOT fighting games. Some people will try and tell you it is expensive, but only homeless people can't afford it and its games. In my opinion the system has a library of about 20-25 games actually worth having (out of 200 or so).

Joe Redifer
06-18-2007, 09:48 PM
Super Adventure Island
7/10
Super Nintendo

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/SAI_box.jpg
Nintendo lavished their customers with precious
material like cardboard boxes! Oh, WOW!

Back when the first Wonder Boy game came out in the arcade, both Sega and Hudson had rights to its design. Sega kept on making Wonder Boy games, and Hudson threw the same exact design into their Adventure Island series. At least Sega could step away from the primitive formula of the original Wonder Boy, but not Hudson! Oh no, Hudson would try to milk it for all it was worth as if it were Street Fighter II and they were Capcom. But to everyone's surprise, they actually did make one game in the series that wasn't sheer torture to play. And that was this game, Super Adventure Island. I like Super Nintendo games because of the clever naming. They take the name and add "Super" in front of it. Motherfucking genius!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/SAI1.png
The SNES had the best graphics as can clearly be seen here.

Graphics: 7/10
Nothing tremendously special here, though the colors seem kind of nice. Also there are a few scenes with tr00 transparancies. There is a mode 7 whale and a few other mode 7 things that will probably not impress you. This is Hudson Soft, after all. You don't expect too many impressive things from them unless it is on the PC Engine.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/SAI2.png
Master Higgins (yes, that's the character's actual name)
believes in safety first as seen by his helmet and pads.

Sound: 9/10
Hudson figured that the music should be good, so they sought out that one guy who did the music for Beyond Oasis as well as Car Battler Joe. This guy also ended up doing the music for this game, and the result is probably one of the top 5 SNES soundtracks EVAR. Dat's right! This 8-mega game devotes the majority of its space to music and sound, it seems. That guy did a great job and his name should be remembered by people. Does it sound better than Final Fantasy Tactics? Oh hell yes! It also sounds better than Motorstorm, Gears of War and Zelda Twilight Princess.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/SAI3.png
You must make some pretty crazy leaps in order to avoid
the evil tomahawk weapon. Even Game Over is better!

Gameplay: 7/10
This is, by far, the best game in the Adventure Island series. I even like it more than the original Wonder Boy. You have two weapons, a tomahawk and a boomarang. You want the boomerang. You don't want the tomahawk... ever. One thing about this game that pisses me off is that you can't press start at the title screen. You must wait for the title screen to time out and the lame-o story to begin before the START button is activated. Then the game can finally start. I like how you are sitting in a boat in the middle of the ocean for no reason whatsoever and then a mode 7 whale with no animation comes up and gulps you... also for no reason whatsoever. At least the whale's innards have good music. This game is pretty easy. In fact if you don't beat it the first time you play without dying, then you are a horrible human being and I hope you get syphilis, because you sure deserve it! I also hope your mom dies. It would be good if she suffered horribly before her death, though. Serves you right. The game is pretty fun to play through every once in awhile and it should be in every SNERD's collection.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/SAI4.png
This boss is so easy. There's no way for him to hit
you and he goes down after only a few hits from you.

Wrap up:
This game is better than Final Fantasy 7 and Halo 2. Do you disagree? Then you like crappy games. This game is better than apples but not quite as good as oranges. Oranges kick the shit out of apples.

Northeastmonk
06-19-2007, 12:01 AM
That game rocked! I remember playing it as a child. the best part was the skateboard!

Paper exe
06-19-2007, 12:24 AM
I just remembered that game when I woke up today, and now when I open my computer I see you reviewing it. To top that, I actually remembered that octopus boss and you and from all ares and boss and even stages toke picture of him! That's just magical Joe!

NES4EVER
06-19-2007, 09:07 AM
Wow, somehow this title eluded me in the SNES days. I'll have to look for a copy on ebay and give it a go. After the NES versions I never wouldve guessed the SNES wouldve had any play value.

eastx
06-19-2007, 06:59 PM
Glad you're reviewing regularly again. I don't think it's fair to review Samurai Spirits 2 (or any fighter) based entirely on its one-player mode, but you certainly captured the frustration of SNK fighters in single player. Also I disagree with you about the music, which is beautiful.

Great writeup of Super Adventure Island! Did you know the character's real name is Takahashi Meijin? He became a famous gamer in Japan after winning a televised Star Soldier tournament and for being able to hit controller buttons 16 times in one second. He's now a big executive at Hudson Soft.

Icarus4578
07-01-2007, 02:31 AM
Nice to see you're still doing reviews. Let's see...

I've never played Princess Crown. It looks good and all but I'm not paying a ridiculous amount of money for it.

Samurai Shodown II is a classic fighting game, and you gave it a Rating 5! That's an average rating! Unbelievable! You don't know what you're talking about when you say that the characters have no individuality! There's a few cultural references thrown in there, such as Jubei being an obvious take on Toshiro Mifune, the gushing blood being clearly inspired by Akira Kurosawa films, the Freddy Kruger claw on Genan, etc. Part II & III are my favorites in the series, and I is good as well because it has Tam Tam.

(Just in case you're interested, they've already got a working version of Capcom's CPS3 emu out now ~ http://nebula.emulatronia.com/ Get the latest update if you're interested. You can finally play Warzard!! Oh my God!! Unbelievable!!)

Super Adventure Island is a good, solid action romp. When I first heard the music I knew it had to be Yuzo Koshiro. BTW, if you get the SPCs for this game, there's this unwanted gargle in some songs. I guess his music programming is a force to be reckoned with. Unbelievable.

Joe Redifer
07-01-2007, 03:31 AM
That's why I record it from REAL hardware, biotch! Yuzo says I can share it with others, too.

If Samurai Shodown's characters had individuality/personality, I'd be able to remember them. I can visualize a few, but I'll be damned if I can recall even one name. Bland!

I'm currently playing through an RPG which will be the subject of my next review. I think I'm around the halfway point or so.

Joe Redifer
07-05-2007, 10:05 PM
Chrono Trigger
8/10
Super Nintendo

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/chronotrigger_box.jpg
Truly terrible artwork lives on the box to this game.

I had never played Chrono Trigger, but the internet told me that it is the best game ever made, period. My friend found the cartridge in a trift store for 56 cents, so I axed a brutha "Can a nigga borrow Chrono Trigga?" and he gleefully complied. So is this game the best thing to happen ever? Is this game the very reason that the Earth and the entire universe even exist? The internet might have you believe that. Some people may be angry that I didn't give this game a score of 10,000 out of 10. The game is great, but Phantasy Star 1, 4 and even Lunar 1 and 2 (Sega CD versions) are all significantly better RPGs.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/chronotrigger1.jpg
A typical overworld map. 32 Mega Power!!!!

Story: 6/10
For the first half of the game or so, I wasn't entirely sure what Chono Trigger was really about. I had a vague idea and it all seemed so accidental, not like a party of pre-teen dipshits on a mission which is the usual standard in RPGs. It clears up a bit during the second half, but it'll never win any sort of award for achievements in writing. The story is actually rather bland. Only the time-traveling concept helps retain interest. For instance there is this one tampon in 600AD who lost his tools. So what do you do? You travel to the future and borrow some tools, bring them back to the guy and let him borrow the tools so he can fix a path for you. The hero, Chrono, never speaks a word. I hate it when RPGs do that. There is no reason for it. None. So as a result, Chrono has no personality whatsoever and it makes me hate him. I don't give a shit about him or his quest. Now maybe if he could prove that his brain was actually functional, I might be able to bond with the character. He's like that retarded friend you invite to your party because you feel sorry for him. There are also a few parts in the story which are messed up. For instance, the first time Frog (who is from the past) travels through time, he thinks nothing of it. Doesn't say a word. He acts as if it is completely natural, even if you take him two thousand years into the future. Hello.... writers???? Also, although not really story related, I hate the character designs. They look like Dragon Ball Z. I fucking hate Dragon Ballz! They look like complete ass. Dragon Ballz can go to hell.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/chronotrigger2.jpg
Typical boss fight. Not sure what else to say here.
Ummm, you can change the color and texture of your menus.

Graphics: 7/10
Overall the graphics are more than acceptable. Of course they just had to throw in the token Mode 7 scenes, but it's only for a racing minigame. However during these mode 7 scenes they managed to have sprite scaling... on the SNES! The SNES cannot scale sprites, so they did it through software. I was mightily impressed not only by the feat, but by the actual effort it must have taken since the SNES runs at the same speed as the Sega Master System. Too bad F-Zero didn't do this. The overhead graphics are generally drawn really well and have plenty of color. But in 65,000,000 BC the graphics take a hit due to the use of transparency in the Forest Maze. It looks awful with the transparent shadows laid on top of everything and becomes hard to judge depths and whatnot. When the transparencies shut off during battle effects, you can see how nice the Forest Maze actually looks. I'm surprised that they relied on transparencies as much as they did throughout the game, since they always shut off and reappear abruptly during battle effects due to the fact that the SNES can only do one layer of transparency. Those assholes. And one thing that really makes me scratch my head is the ever-present BLACK BAR that lives at the bottom of the screen for no reason. That's right, NO REASON! The only time the black bar isn't there is during the overhead world maps, and you spend only about 1 to 2% of the game on those screens. This is screen real estate that is clearly wasted. In some battles the menus get in the way and you can't see how much damage is being dealt and whatnot due to them being above the black bar. You can move the menu from the top to the bottom and vice-versa with the Y button during battles, but either way you lose because the menu will block something.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/chronotrigger3.jpg
There is a small bit of side-scrolling in the game that game me
some serious Ys III flashbacks. That's a good thing!

Sound: 7/10
A 7 for the sound? Am I on crack? Not at all. There are about 4 or 5 music themes in the game that are actually "good". Most of the rest fall into the category of "appropriate" or "fitting", but don't stand out in any way. There are a few music themes that are absolutely awful. One is the bongo-only theme from 65,000,000 BC (that era's music pretty much all sucks), another synth-guitar laden theme from, well, I don't remember when... but it was in a dungeon. This was Yasunori Mitsuda's first game soundtrack, but it gave him ulcers due to the tracks I just mentioned and Final Fantasy composer Nobuo Uematsu had to come in and finish up Yasunori's work. I don't think that Yasunori Mitsuda ever had ulcers, I just think that he is a lazy bastard and used "ulcers" as an excuse so his wimpy ass wouldn't get fired. Anyway my favorite tunes are the one from the game intro/demo, Frog's Theme and the tune that plays in 12,000 BC or whenever it is. The victory tune is also very good (if a bit short) and isn't used after the completion of every single battle here like it is in Chrono Cross, so it doesn't become quickly tiresome.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/chronotrigger4.jpg
Some scenes have very well drawn backgrounds, like this court.
Juries here are even more retarded than typical real-life juries!

Gameplay: 8/10
This is a nice RPG to play through. Controls and all of that shit work fairly well and feel smooth. Although I realize it is standard in most RPGs, I don't really care to have so many party members that come and go from your group (you can only have 3 at a time). It's not game-breaking, just a personal preference as I will tend to bond more with characters that are always there as well as learn their battle strategies. But fortunately there are only 7 characters total. The battles can be kind of fun, (and repetitive), but I'm not a huge fan of the battle system employed here. Things keep happening while you're trying to make a damn choice on the menu. It's very distracting and confusing. The little hand which points to the enemy you'd like to attack can get lost in the onscreen clutter sometimes as well, and you may not even realize that it's still there and have to choose. There is an option to switch the battle mode between ACTIVE and WAIT. I tried both. Both are exactly the same from what I can tell. Not sure why they had so many things going on at once. It's like they were trying to fix something that wasn't broken.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/chronotrigger5.jpg
This scene is from the beginning of the game, but there is a quick
random scene much later which has these two apparently married
with no explanation provided EVER. The writers suck.

What they DID fix, however, were the random battles. There are none. Mostly you can see enemies wandering about on the map and much of the time if you don't want to fight you can simply walk around them. Sometimes offscreen enemies attack you when you walk over a certain part of the screen, but it's not random. Another thing that I really like is that the game doesn't take it's sweet-ass time to fade out from the map and then fade in to a new battle screen. The battles take place right where you are. The only other game I have seen do this previously was Phantasy Star 1 and only in the dungeon scenes. There are some bosses that love to induce status effects on you, making attacks impossible until cured. That pisses me off, but it's to be expected in just about any RPG. And some enemy attacks seem incredibly slooooow due to the spectacle of the attack itself. I hear this is mandatory in Square games, though. Some attacks in later Square games (Playstation and above) give you enough time to read a book before the attack is complete! This game is rarely "too hard". Usually it is "just right". It took me about 24 hours to finish the game, and you won't hear me complaining that it is too short. The game has 13 or 14 different endings. I am not playing though to experience them all. I don't even think I powered up the game 13 times in my quest to beat it! I'm perfectly happy with just one ending, as I rarely play through RPGs more than once.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/chronotrigger6.jpg
The future is home to extremely boring graphics, music and gameplay.
When I got here the first time, I had to force myself to keep playing.
It's that dull. Same thing happened in 65,000,000,000,000,000 BC

Wrap Up:
Definitely recommended. And I also suggest you play the cartridge version versus the Playstation version. If you want lame anime cut scenes, download them from Youtube. It'll be quicker than any loading time the PS1 has ever had. Also, this game kicks the living shit out of Chrono Cross, it's Playstation sequel, in every single way except for the music. Chrono Cross anal-rapes Chrono Trigger in the music department because Yasunori decided that he could never be the Champion of Lazy. That title is mine! This game is definitely better than Rad Racer. Now I'd like to try Final Fantasy 3/6 to see how it is.

Vegetto
07-06-2007, 02:43 AM
favorite RPG of all time for me, and yeah, chrono cross was such a let down compared to this game

Sinful Sam
07-06-2007, 07:02 AM
I just saw all the anime sequences at youtube. The ending looked like it was just to please the fans.

Mistatee
07-06-2007, 11:55 AM
Finally.

Ive been waiting forever for someone to:

A) Finally realize the story is mediocre
B) State that it is not the best Soundtrack evar!

You Joe, past the final test for being the coolest person alive!

Joe Redifer
07-08-2007, 12:29 AM
Double Dragon II: The Revenge
7/10
Nintendo Entertainment System

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DoubleDragon2_box.jpg
I remember looking at the magazine ads for
this game and thinking that chick neeeded
a good boning. Damn I was pathetic!

After Double Dragon 1 sold well, Acclaim decided to shaft Tradwest who somehow was able to release the first game for the NES and release it themselves. I've never played the arcade version, so I have no idea how this compares, but I do know that this allows two players... AT THE SAME TIME! This is almost unheard of in an NES game, and the biggest complaint about the first game was that it was single player only... at least on the NES it was. Lucky Sega players had a two player version because they were awesome and bought and SMS. But unlucky Sega players never saw the sequel. There was a Double Dragon 2 on the Genesis, but it was complete ass.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DoubleDragon2_2.png
This game is so fast that the bad guys actually RUN!
Maybe this game uses Blast Processing™?

Story: 0/10
Who cares? Games like these don't need stories. Just play to the end and try and beat it. Unless I'm getting fucked by the big-titted bitch in real life after I save her in the game, then it doesn't matter. But an ongoing story is included because the developers thought we'd care. How wrong they were.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DoubleDragon2_1.png
The guy from Terminator 2 has stolen your whore and
now it's up to you to get her squeezable ass back!

Graphics: 6/10
Not bad for the NES, but I've seen the system do much better as well. Your character's arm will often flicker for no good reason even when he's the only thing on the screen. Weak! And the score/status bar at the botom of the screen occupies a rather large chunk of the available space. Some scenes like the Death Forest look fairly pleasant. Hooray!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DoubleDragon2_3.png
The game shows off how blazingly fast it is when you
fight these two girls/guys/whatever they are. You
are far too slow to deal with them, and you can't
even move up or down on the screen.

Sound: 7/10
Good NES stuff here. The first stage music is especially cool. It's way better than Guns 'n Roses. Hell, most things are! Many other stages have ever-so-slightly above average tunes, but there are a few memorable ones here and there, and nothing sucks. Sound effects are average. You can leave your subwoofer off for this one.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DoubleDragon2_4.png
I bet back when this game came out, people praised
this scene where you get sucked towards the open
door as pure genius. Actually there is an easy
way to get past it. The abobos have hair here.

Gameplay: 7/10
The first time you play the game, you'll be saying things like "WTF? These controlz r messed up lol!" The B button always attacks to the left no matter which way you are facing, and the A button to the right. Once you get past this quirkiness the game controls are fairly easy. Like the first game, both buttons pressed together jump. The gameplay is at a much faster pace than the first game, and for that I am extremely thankful because part 1 was slower than.... ummm... uhhh.... my brain at trying to think of a humorous quip to go here. The weapons are mostly useless since they disappear when different enemies appear onscreen. Some parts of the game are extremely frustrating, like jumping across the river in the god damned Death Forest, and there is no way to continue that I know of! Ug. Anyway it's a good diversion unless you have a better beat 'em up to play like Streets of Rage 1 or 2.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DoubleDragon2_5.png
This stage reminds me of stage 3 in the first game, graphically.
I like how the health bars change colors depending on the stage.

Wrap up:
I hear that the PC Engine/TurboGrafx-16 version of this game shits all over this version due to its superior awesomeness and god-like power of the system. I'd like to try it. But for now this version will do.

Vegetto
07-08-2007, 04:40 PM
I really liked 2, the super moves were an awesome addition such as the super knee and super uppercut, I loved spamming the super knee over and over takin out anything that got near

loempiavreter
08-03-2007, 08:02 PM
Spikeout Battlestreet
6/10

Whenever you get the chance to play Spikeout (Final Edition) try it, don't let Battle Street fool you, it's a pathetic third part of the series (especially that input delay is nasty..). You can really see that SEGA put almost no effort into creating Battle Street.

Icarus4578
08-12-2007, 04:05 AM
Just recently finished both PSII, again, and IV for the first time (the first time I made it to the final boss but had to return it, as stated before...). Man, PSIV is 10x the game FFIII(VI) is. II is great although time-consuming because of all the leveling-up that needs to be done, but IV is perfect in almost every way. There are a few minor flaws (sometimes I'll try to talk to someone but s/he'll walk off a little and it misses, they could've added explanations as to what spells do what and what attributes would be raised before purchasing equipment, etc.) but the quest is so addicting it's insane. It only took two days to complete; I had the free time so I figured, what the hell? I loved how they took the Dark Falz from PSI and made him into a regular, albeit powerful, enemy in the final area. The last area was, admittedly, a letdown in terms of design, but at least the last boss was awesome.

The dungeons aren't too tough to map or figure out, and I really like that. The exception is one near the end which is a bit crazy.

I know which one you're talking about. That dungeon was super-cool. It would've made a better last dungeon than The E*** (no spoiler). Mercifully there's a healing point within the dungeon. Sega = Love. I loved the characters and truly enjoyed the story from start to finish. They just don't come up with great concepts like this anymore. Going back to play FFIII, I get bored by the time I reach Figaro Castle or whatever it's called really early into the game ...like maybe a half-hour. So what if some of the music is good? Oh, btw, Kefka is LAME. You [I]know your main villain sucks when people try to say that his best quote is, "HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!" Geez, what a lesson in stupidity! PSIV truly owns FFIII. None of the characters in the latter had any semblance of personality whatsoever, but the former has personality and in large doses to boot. Well, at least FFII is still a great RPG.

How badly I want to play Phantasy Star Generations: 2. It's such a travesty that Sega cancelled the planned remake of IV. It would've been (what else?) incredible. I heard that people who complete certain side-missions and then beat PSG:1 and then go through PSG:2 can resurrect Nei and keep her throughout the entire game!!! HOW COOL IS THAT!?!?!?! Check here for more details ~ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantasy_Star_Generation_2

Also, this page seems to cover everything about PSG:2. I'm talking explanations of everything, complete maps, beastiary, etc. Everything except how to get Nei back. Great site design, btw. ~ http://rpg-home.lunar-net.com/psg2-web/start.htm

Joe Redifer
08-12-2007, 05:43 AM
Yes, Phantasy Star IV sure is a great game. I can't believe I didn't buy that originally (because of the paper box which I felt was extremely cheap and a disservice to Sega's usual packaging... I felt they probably skimped on the game as well). Hopefully someday some fans can translate PSG 1 and 2 for the PS2 and release a ROM that can be loaded to the PS2 hard drive for us to play using the HD Loader. I'd take either Phantasy Star Generations game (in English) over any of the Phantasy Star Online/Universe games they've ever released all combined with free online forever.

Paper exe
08-12-2007, 06:09 AM
The writing in this game is superb. Characters are very human and have realistic dialog. The game takes place in the fabled year of 1979 in a hotel. That's right, it takes place BEFORE Shenmue. The story can seem a bit slow to unfold, but it is worth it. The amount of coincidences are a bit crazy, however this is a fictional game. That means there are actually NO coincidences. It's like a good book, but unlike books Hotel Dusk requires thought and at least some mild brainpower. I really like the main character, Kyle Hyde. I'm not sure how there could be a sequel to this game, but I like the character & the way he interacts with everything and I'd like to see more games of this style with him in the future.
I knew it, these characters are something only Americans would like! I don't know but if you and the forums member Sinful Sam think that their conversation are realistic then I think you lot would know better and I shouldn't think about it. I mean after all in this game you do play as an American I shouldn't be surprise on how crazy and stupid he sounds. ololololololol

eastx
09-09-2007, 04:14 PM
I mean after all in this game you do play as an American I shouldn't be surprise on how crazy and stupid he sounds. ololololololol

You do realize that your English is pretty crazy, right? It's the pot calling the kettle black. Oh, that means that you're complaining about something that you embody. :P

Joe Redifer
09-11-2007, 09:53 PM
I say PaperEXE should do the English translation for a game... it would rock!

Joe Redifer
09-12-2007, 02:54 AM
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
8/10
Nintendo Wii

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/metroidprime3_box.jpg
Yes, a good Wii game!

With not much quality software currently available for Nintendo's next generation Wii® game console, I was surprised when something I actually kind of wanted to play was released. I took a chance on this game since I enjoyed the Metroid game for Nintendo's "DS" portable system. I enjoyed the new style of control in that game which the touch screen allowed and that in turn allowed me to bask in the fine experience of the game itself. Personally, I detest the FPS genre. It can go to hell. I'm not sure what so many people see in it. I wish it would die. If you like FPS games, then I hope you die someday, that'll teach you. Where was I? Oh yeah, I bought this game because it offered a new way to control it... I took a big chance and I came out ahead. So let's look at the game, shall we?

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/metroidprime3_1.jpg
Ripping things off with the grapple beam using the nunchuck is pretty damned awesome.

Story: ?/10
I'm not really sure what Metroid Prime 3 is about. Like every other game these days, it tries to draw you in with an insipid story that nobody cares about except for people with no lives. This game doesn't rely much on story other than to give you something new to do just when you finished cleaning up the previous mess. The story is about aliens who do stuff and suddenly there is all of this Prozac and you become infected with it and you have to destroy the Prozac or some crazy shit like that, I dunno. Whoever wrote the story probably doesn't have a creative bone in their body, but they don't need one. It's Metroid! Anyway, I have no clue how this game ties in to the previous Gamecube Metroid Prime games. There is a Dark Samus and I have no idea what all of that nonsense is about. Amazingly, I didn't care.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/metroidprime3_2.jpg
Jaggies! Jaggies everywhere! High definition is just a fad, Nintendo knows what we want!

Graphics: 8/10
This game wasn't built from the ground up for the next generation Wii powerhouse. The developers stated somewhere that they were well into programming the game before they learned what the Wii Remote even was, so it shouldn't surprise you that this game has graphics similar to the Gamecube versions. But Nintendo (surprisingly) had developer Retro add the 16:9 aspect ratio for people with such TVs. Though Nintendo is slowly getting better in this regard, unfortunately all of the bitmapped (non-polygon) graphics are stretched in this mode, and that includes your HUD, where the center circle becomes an oval. I guess they still are pretty damn lazy. Overall the quality of the graphics doesn't piss me off at all, except for the extreme amount of jaggies. Good lighting effects occur when special stuff happens and lots of crap like that. I didn't really see any clipping and everything looks and feels solid. If I were the graphics supervisor I'd have made them fix that 16:9 issue, and if they didn't everyone would be fired and I'd rule all of Nintendo. Then I'd give all of the company's money to Sega so they could get rid of Sammy and release a new Sega console shaped like my smiling face. Then I'd sell Nintendo to Sega and make games only for Sega's new system, which would be called the "Sega Ass Kicker". It could happen!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/metroidprime3_3.jpg
You ride along "ziplines" during the game which is a mode of public transportation in Skytown.
Of course there are creatures who only attack when you are riding it.

Sound: 5/10
This game barely supports stereo, so don't expect any fancy surround effects here. Nintendo of Japan assigned their worst accounting interns to do the music for this game, and the result is exactly what you'd expect from an accounting intern forced to do music. There's lots of crappy synth-choir here with next to no discernible melodies. It's ambient, but extremely boring ambiance. It's the type of music that reminds you of waiting by your window for the cable repair man. Only the Skytown theme is acceptable, and I actually kind of like it! Very fitting. The sound effects are good and pretty much what you'd expect from this type of game with lots of cool sci-fi bleeps and zaps. The voice acting is alright and I can't really think of much to say about it other than Samus never talks. I guess that makes her the dream woman. I did enjoy the aural experience when fighting Rundar or Rangar or whatever that particular boss' name is (all of the names in the game are unmemorable). He lets out a cool vocal noise when he is stunned, and the music actually has melody. Overall there is no reason to mute your sound system, but certainly no reason to crank it up, either.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/metroidprime3_4.jpg
This is Ghor, one of the few bosses I didn't like. I'd still rather fight him than play Bioshock, though.

Gameplay: 8/10
As I said in the first paragraph, I hate FPS games. But with the control scheme that Metroid Prime 3 has, it is actually fun. Metroid Prime isn't really a true FPS game as you do more than wander around, shoot things and try to survive. For one you can shoot as fast as you can press the button, and there is no reloading nonsense to bog down gameplay. Reloading is for losers. Also, you scan shit. A lot of shit. At first I didn't think scanning was all that necessary, but it can really help. For example after you scan something that, say, you can grapple, a grapple icon will appear when you are able to do so. This can be extremely helpful in certain boss fights. Speaking of boss battles, almost all of them have a jumping attack where you have to jump over the resulting wave as they land. What's up with that? Many bosses have no apparent weak point until you wear it down by attacking other parts of the boss, and then it loses power pretty slowly. This was before I started scanning bosses and I was very annoyed with the long boss battles. I ABHOR long boss battles! Anyone who likes super long boss battles deserves face herpes. It sucks to die right before defeating them and have to do it all over. However, I found that once you knew exactly what to do, the boss battles go pretty quickly and are really fun. I'd love to see a "boss rush" mode added to the extras of this game. Since it is a Metroid game, there are various puzzles that you must solve to advance to a new location, etc. At first I tended to over think these puzzles, but the answers were really simple in reality. Advancing throughout the game nets you tons of new upgrades which you conveniently need to access the next area. I didn't care much for the charge ball, but all of the other upgrades were pretty cool. You can earn Xbox360 achievements by scanning certain things, defeating bosses or whatnot. These achievements are then used like money where you can unlock some truly awesome goodies, like the ability to listen to the title screen music without needing to be at the title screen. WOW!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/metroidprime3_5.jpg
Ah yes, the amusingly named "Screw Attack" suit upgrade. This is the only time that
Samus actually flips while she jumps as she did in 2D Metroid games.

Control works well, but with the Wii you don't actually point at the exact area on your screen you want to shoot as you would in a light gun game. Instead the Wii Remote acts as a simple mouse-like pointing device and does not represent where you are really pointing. That is disappointing since light guns games aren't truly possible as a result. I also noticed some errors in the control. When I am instructed to tilt the remote up to pull up a lever on a train, it doesn't work unless I tilt the remote down, and the reverse is true for putting the lever back down again. Odd. I also hate any part that requires me to shake the controls. Hate, hate, HATE! Still, it's a million times better than playing with a dual analog controller. It's closer to playing PC-style with a mouse and a keyboard, but I'll take an analog thumbstick over 4 pissy keys to move myself around any day! Anyone who prefers using keyboard keys over an analog stick for this purpose likely shaves, collects and catalogs their ass hair. The ball mode is kind of twitchy to control, but is manageable and becomes second nature with some practice. Another thing you'll notice while playing this game is how slow the Wii loads its data. I haven't played a lot of games yet on the Wii since there really isn't anything to play, but this game loads slower than a freakin' 3DO console. That's just sad. Sometimes you're trying to get through a door, but it won't open for 10-15 seconds after you walk up to it and shoot it. Unacceptable! Interestingly as I was playing the game, I was suddenly informed that I had unlocked an extra special ending, but that if I wanted to see it, I'd have to beat the game. Duh! I'd say that the difficulty of the game is pretty much right on. If it's too easy for you, play it on a harder difficulty. I'd rather have "fun" than "tough" any day. There isn't any online play for some reason, but that's never make-or-break for me since I prefer the single player experience on games like these. There is some weird online friend voucher thing that I haven't quite got working yet, but it seems pretty lame.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/metroidprime3_6.jpg
I hate this whore because she makes me shake my controller. I don't like shaking
things unless they are newborn babies. Then it is OK.

Wrap Up:
This is the best game currently available for the Wii, by far. A definite must have if you own the console and you actually like real videogames. My game lasted around 16 hours and I finished with about 81% since the percentage seems to depend mostly on the items you collect, mainly missile expansions and ship missile expansions (which are useless). I spent a lot of time looking for the expansions I did find! So if you want 100%, expect to spend a lot more game hours unless you use a guide. Also, if you get 100%, they show Samus naked in the ending on a beach with Reggie who is also naked. Buy it. Now. Unless you'd rather not.

Icarus4578
09-12-2007, 06:57 AM
The music was done by Kenji Yamamoto, Minako Hamano, and Masaru Tajima. The original Metroid was composed by Hirokazu "Hip" Tanaka, and he also was responsible for the memorable soundtrack to Kid Icarus, among others. The music in Corruption sounds similar to Prime 1 & 2 (Kenji Yamamoto also worked on those, I believe), albeit a tad more "Americanized" a-la Halo where the music is almost entirely made up of ambiance.

I'm surprised that you didn't bring up the fact that Corruption starts off almost exactly like Halo does. Man, why can't they just let Metroid be Metroid? You know, that feeling of isolation, being completely unsure of your surroundings? There's nothing too mysterious about Corruption. It has your token fire area, ice area, organic area, etc.

I still think Zelda ~ Twilight Princess is the best game on the Wii.

Vegetto
09-12-2007, 03:30 PM
JOE DOUBLE POSTED

Joe Redifer
09-12-2007, 06:53 PM
Look at the times of those two posts.

Yeah, I forgot to say that the first part of the game is really boring, just wandering through a huge ship for no reason whatsoever. I don't even remember Halo.

Vicviper
09-12-2007, 09:01 PM
Great review. Thanks for making it mostly spoiler free.

I'm wondering if anybody else noticed something. When you first start the game and use the scan visor you can see Samus' eyes and they look normal. As you get further in the game and get infected with Phazon one of Samus' eye starts to show a visible change from the effects of Phazon. This to me is what makes a good game a great game. Little extras that you notice and lol when you see them.

Alexander
09-12-2007, 09:34 PM
Great review. Thanks for making it mostly spoiler free.

I'm wondering if anybody else noticed something. When you first start the game and use the scan visor you can see Samus' eyes and they look normal. As you get further in the game and get infected with Phazon one of Samus' eye starts to show a visible change from the effects of Phazon. This to me is what makes a good game a great game. Little extras that you notice and lol when you see them.
I also noticed that, and it's good to see you posting again, fellow forum member Vicviper.

Reality
09-12-2007, 10:51 PM
8/10?! Hater. This game is at least 8.8/10

Joe Redifer
09-12-2007, 10:57 PM
You fanboy!!!!!!! Anyway, that's why I don't rate in decimals. If I gave something a 9.2, people would cry that it should get at least a 9.3 (I've seen this in Bioshock reviews). Pretty soon people will be rating in octuple-digit decimals, like: 9.2563807

Havoc2049
09-13-2007, 01:06 AM
Oh man, that sucks. What happened next?

I think we played some Gauntlet IV or Streets of Rage II. :cool:

Alexander
09-13-2007, 08:54 AM
I think it's been months since I asked that question. You have no idea the pain I went through waiting for you to answer. Now that it's happened, I just can't believe it. I don't think we should see each other anymore.

Vegetto
09-13-2007, 03:27 PM
You fanboy!!!!!!! Anyway, that's why I don't rate in decimals. If I gave something a 9.2, people would cry that it should get at least a 9.3 (I've seen this in Bioshock reviews). Pretty soon people will be rating in octuple-digit decimals, like: 9.2563807


I agree, decimals in ratings are retarded

tpfkanep
09-14-2007, 02:37 AM
Altho I do not like scoring games, I think JR's score and review is pretty accurate.
I'm surprised that you didn't bring up the fact that Corruption starts off almost exactly like Halo does. Man, why can't they just let Metroid be Metroid? You know, that feeling of isolation, being completely unsure of your surroundings? There's nothing too mysterious about Corruption.So true. Retro and Nintendo totally messed that up. What I hate the most, apart from the loading screens, voice acting, music, weapon upgrade system (I hate the stacking up of beams, no missile combos): "Let me download the coordinates for you, dumbo!"I still think Zelda ~ Twilight Princess is the best game on the Wii.Wii Sports.

At least the control system (I needed ~6 hours to get used to it) is near perfect. I am glad Retro is finished with this.

Havoc2049
09-15-2007, 05:09 PM
I think it's been months since I asked that question. You have no idea the pain I went through waiting for you to answer. Now that it's happened, I just can't believe it. I don't think we should see each other anymore.
:lol:

Funny stuff, Alexander.

Joe Redifer
09-19-2007, 11:18 PM
Super Metroid
8/10
Super Nintendo

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermetroid_box.png
Only for Nintendo. No Atari Lynx version??

Since I beat Metroid Prime 3 on the Wii, I became a little more curious about the Metroid franchise so I figured I should play through some of the other games. I've always owned Super Metroid, but never played for more than a few hours and certainly never beat it until now. The story has something to do with the awful Gameboy Metroid 2. In order to prepare, I watched a speed run of that game on the internet so I knew the story and the happenings of that atrocious thing. All caught up in the ongoing literary masterpiece that is the Metroid storyline, I plugged the cartridge into my SNES (which is shaped differently that most of the other games so you can rip the cart out without turning off the power first) and gave it a go. This review will attempt to explain my opinions on this game. Yeah.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermetroid1.gif
Typical Super Metroid scene.

Graphics: 7/10
The SNES can do much better than this, but overall most things look decent. Many of the bosses are well drawn and crap like that. The areas are pretty large and feature varying backgrounds, but there really isn't anything that stands out. The Brinstar area from the first game doesn't look much better than it did on the NES save for the extra layer of scrolling. The game has some transparencies in certain areas which disappear whenever you set off a super bomb or an onscreen text box appears. The visuals certainly aren't bad in any way and you'll always know where you are due to the design of the various stages, and I like the fact that Samus's sprite isn't simply flipped when facing the opposite direction like most 2D games are. She always shoots with her right hand, even when facing left. Still, with 24 freakin' huge megs, I think they could have done a bit better.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermetroid2.gif
This boss was the only one I really had any trouble with.
I fought him by using all of my missiles when I was supposed
to use my grapple beam and fry him as shown.

Sound: 7/10
The game opens with a flaming homosexual telling you that the last metroid is in captivity and as a result gay marriage has been legalized. There is no other speech in the game. There are some pretty cool sounding yelps and screams that the monsters make, though. Some of the music is fairly good and the rest is just kind of ambient. Usually it works pretty well, but I did find myself pressing MUTE a few times when it got on my nerves after being in the same area for too long. The sound quality is the typical muffled sound the SNES likes to make with the typical SNES reverb added to everything as well. There are virtually no frequencies above 2000Hz here. But then again, there probably aren't in any SNES game. It just has a very muffled sound chip which attempts to compensate with reverb.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermetroid3.jpg
The SNES has great graphics!

Gameplay: 8/10
You're all most likely familiar with the exploration nature of Metroid games. This is the first Metroid with a mapping system. I like the mapping system in the Castlevania games much better than this one because you can see which rooms have doors you haven't been through, etc. When you get a new power up in Super Metroid, you must run around the entire game just to see if there's any place you haven't been that your new powers could grant you access to. You're almost better off making your own map, that way you can mark down items that you couldn't quite get to and know to come back to that spot. The controls are a bit weak, especially the jumping. There is a wall jump that is almost impossible for me to do and pissed me off to no end. The wall jump is harder than any boss in the game. For some reason the small pterodactyl seems to be a major boss in the game since he was in the intro. And the final boss has to be the easiest boss fight ever. Not the easiest final boss fight, but the easiest boss fight in any game ever made. I don't think it is even possible to lose! The game has instances of slowdown whenever you set off a super bomb and a few other places, but you get used to it. I did have fun with the exploration and revisiting areas with my new powers.

Wrap up:
Super Metroid is a fun game to play through, but I do think it is a touch overrated. I will say that it is the best 2D Metroid ever, however I haven't really played the GBA versions much, so maybe that isn't the case. The game's manual urges you to rush through the game as fast as possible otherwise you'll get a shittier ending. Whatever you do, don't take time to savor the journey and enjoy yourself! RUSH RUSH RUSH! I do prefer Metroid Prime 3 on the Wii to this game which is amazing since I tend to enjoy 2D games more. Why the same score? Because this game is still very enjoyable and works quite well. I didn't say I enjoyed MP3 craploads more than this one.

Sinful Sam
09-20-2007, 12:46 AM
I think the only reason this game is kind of overrated is because of that one issue of EGM when they did that top 100 games. How long ago was that? Close to ten years I think. Well it was number one and everybody started saying it's the greatest game ever. It's one of my fav. Metroid games.

Paper exe
09-20-2007, 05:41 AM
lol Yeah I actually used to have that issue. It was hard finding these kind of magazines and be wanting them in the same time in my country. I used to buy video games magazine on like every blue moon.

Vicviper
09-22-2007, 09:24 AM
GBA Metroids are worth playing. Both are excellent games. One is a remake of the OG Metroid. Both are the same quality as Super Metroid if not better.

NES4EVER
09-22-2007, 09:43 AM
I have been looking for a copy of Super Metroid for damn near a decade because it was dubbed "the greatest" metroid game but for some reason it, and super mario RPG have eluded my grasp. Nice review

Sinful Sam
09-22-2007, 06:42 PM
You can get Super Metroid on the Virtual Console on the Wii. But you probably want the original game sine you like to collect them.

Alexander
09-24-2007, 06:16 PM
I strongly recommend Metroid Fusion. It's my favorite Metroid game fo'sho.

Meshugana
09-25-2007, 12:26 PM
I have been looking for a copy of Super Metroid for damn near a decade because it was dubbed "the greatest" metroid game but for some reason it, and super mario RPG have eluded my grasp. Nice review

i will happily sell you both, no box tho

Hikash
09-27-2007, 11:29 AM
First, you can die on motherbrain. It's not impossible to do, but you have to try. Just try to get hit on everything you see. (both beam and normal attacks can kill you here.)

Second, I wouldn't say that the GBA games are better than the SNES version. Fusion especially kind of holds your hand through the game. If I recall, the last boss in fusion was pretty simple as well. The remake of the original is decent though--probably as good as Super Metriod.

Icarus4578
09-27-2007, 08:10 PM
I loved the remake for GBA, except for the final "stealth" mission tacked onto the end. Boy, did that suck! As I recall, I was also playing Dragon Force for Sega Saturn at the same time Zero Mission came out and thought that the former was even more fun overall, and that's saying something because I hold Metroid in high regard.

Alexander
09-28-2007, 12:11 PM
I infinitely prefer Fusion. Yeah, it's easy, but the play control and style has never been matched.

Paper exe
09-28-2007, 12:22 PM
Hey joe why don't you review some TurboGrafx games? This console is a huge mystery for me. I would like to know some of it best games.

Joe Redifer
09-28-2007, 04:46 PM
I've reviewed 9 TurboGrafx games so far, but I'd be happy to review more!

Paper exe
09-29-2007, 05:39 AM
thanks. :D

Joe Redifer
10-01-2007, 04:46 AM
J.B. Harold Murder Club
8/10
TurboGrafx-16 CD-ROM

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/jbharoldmurderclub_box.jpg
Definitely one of the better early CD games.

J.B. Harold Murder Club is a text-ish detective game similar to the detective scenes in the Phoenix Wright games. There's no courtroom here, but trying to figure things out, finding evidence and make the perpetrator confess to the crime is what this game is about. There is only one case in the whole game, and it's fairly long. It's also one of my guilty pleasures.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/jbharoldmurderclub1.png
Oh shit! Now you need to find everyone associated with the
household and ask them where their asses were at 10:30.

Story: 7/10
A game like this absolutely relies on it's story, and fortunately it's a good one. A wealthy executive named Bill Robbins has been murdered... stabbed in the back and stuffed into a car. Pretty grisly stuff for a game made in 1990. You are J.B. Harold, the detective assigned to the case. You go around interviewing people, looking for evidence and trying to obtain search and arrest warrants when the need arises. The characters range from bland to quite memorable, and you do grow to know people and their personalities. The case itself is really cool, as is the background story behind it.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/jbharoldmurderclub2.png
Despite graphics like these in the opening, the game does not have any action scenes or full motion video.

Graphics: 7/10
This game features digitized still photos of every person and every location featured in the game. There isn't any animation other than the opening scenes and people's pictures sliding in and out, but it all still works. While not the best the TurboGrafx could do with digitization, people still generally look pretty cool, if a little washed out. There isn't any video in this game so don't worry. The overhead map is tremendously bland, but fortunately you'll almost never be looking at it.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/jbharoldmurderclub3.png
This game is a bit more adult-oriented
than your typical Phoenix Wright fare.

Sound: 7/10
Digitized voices have been recorded for each and every line in the game in both English and Japanese (your choice). Many of the voices are actually well acted. Unfortunately with so many voices in the game, the quality is a little grainy. Do not expect "cd quality" voices here, but the voices really do add to everyone's personality. You can also elect to turn the voices off completely which speeds up the game immensely. Most of the music is generated by the TurboGrafx-16 and it can get annoying after awhile, especially since there isn't much variety. There are a few jazz CD tracks which are absolutely awesome, my favorite is the theme that plays when you select "Investigation Rest".

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/jbharoldmurderclub4.png
This poor guy is hilarious! He has virtually no answers for you, but
you can harass him about everything anyway. His voice is insanely
awesome, especially in English. I wish he was the murderer.

Gameplay: 8/10
These kind of games really click with me for some reason. There's no puzzle solving to be done like in Hotel Dusk (http://www.the-magicbox.com/forums/showthread.php?p=402289#post402289) for the Nintendo DS, and everything you do revolves around navigating menus. Still, I love hounding people to death to get them to change their answers so I can get a search warrant and then arrest their ass! New questions to ask someone else come up after you talk with people, so visiting someone again won't always result in the same exact experience (though it'll be close). This game is a very tough nut to crack, even if you've beaten it before and already know who the killer is. There's always that one question or piece of evidence that you need to show someone that eludes you. It can be beaten, and I've been through the game several times. Turning off the voices really makes the game more smooth since it doesn't have to stop and load. You may turn them off once you figure you've heard enough and just want to get on with it and I certainly wouldn't blame you. Still though, the voices are half the fun. Well maybe 4/11 the fun.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/jbharoldmurderclub5.png
This guy loves the cemetery. He never, ever leaves!

Wrap up:
This is an often overlooked yet worthwhile CD game that will work with any TurboDuo or TurboGrafx-CD system regardless of System Card version. It was ported from a computer game which I have not played, but nobody cares about PC games. I can still play my TurboGrafx, but I don't have a PC that is weak enough to play that version. I think you are supposed to throw away PC games when you are done with them, but I'll never throw away this TurboGrafx-16 CD game.

Joe Redifer
10-03-2007, 07:19 PM
Shining Force
9/10
Sega Genesis

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce_box.jpg
The artwork, while cool, definitely does not fit the game.

I can't believe I overlooked how good this game was when it originally came out. I rented it and I'm sure my thoughts upon entering the first battle were "WTF is this shit? I have to think? Screw that, I hate thinking!" I never really gave it a chance, and it certainly wasn't anything like Shining in the Darkness which was released two years prior. However, that is a really, really good thing. Shining in the Darkness was just a dungeon crawler, and although it did have some of the cool things that exist in the Shining world, it was kind of lacking in my opinion. But with Shining Force they decided that Strategy RPGs would be a great new genre!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce1.png
The game uses the Genesis' amazing shadow and highlight function
to mark where you can move on the map. 12 MEGA POWER!

Story: 7/10
The game is divided into 8 chapters which span the story. That's more chapters than I've ever read in any book in my life. The story is your typical medievil-ish storyline with the big bad guy whom you must defeat before he accomplishes his goal. There is nothing revolutionary in this area, but the characters really stand out. You may even remember some of their names up to a week after you've beaten the game... they're that memorable, and that's pretty rare.

Graphics: 6/10
The graphics here really aren't anything special. The towns are all very simple looking with very few colors and very little detail. On top of that, the towns all look pretty much the same. Nothing will harm your eyes in the town as things are drawn well, but it looks pretty flat and a bit boring. The battle maps, on the other hand, look a little better. Again they are nothing truly special. The battle scenes themselves look really cool with nicely animated characters on both sides and cool backgrounds. There is some flicker of the menus during heavy magic attacks, and the Genesis' second background layer is never used at all. I think they could have done a little better, but overall you'll be too busy playing to be stressin' about eye candy.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce2.jpg
The backgrounds change often during battles, yo.

Sound: 6/10
There really aren't any bad musical passages here, but what brings things down is the repetition, especially in the towns. The music rarely changes and when you're busy passing items from character to character just so one person can equip a certain weapon, it can get very annoying. I often pressed the MUTE button when I was in towns. The battle theme also never ever changes, and you'll hear it A LOT. After the battle ends, the overhead map music starts back over at the beginning which makes things even more repetitive! I often pressed the MUTE button when fighting as well. If it weren't for this problem, I'd really enjoy most of the music.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce3.png
This game kicks ass. A must play!

Gameplay: 9/10
Ah yes, a strategy RPG. At first I didn't think I'd be too interested, but once I figured out how the game works, which doesn't take very long, I was completely hooked. I really like the icon system that Sonic Software Planning and Climax came up with for the series, although it can make things a little tedious when you're just trying to talk to someone in a town. You can get over 20 members in your party if you can find them all, but you can only choose 11 members besides yourself at any one time. If you leave someone behind, they won't level up, making htem more and more useless as time goes on and it's hard to tell who will be a powerhouse after lots of fighting. There are plenty of characters you probably won't mind leaving behind, though, like Bleu the dragon. The game allows you to promote characters after they reach level 10 or higher, but they don't get any paid vacations, higher salary or other perks that usually come with promotions. I noticed that my characters started sucking ass when I promoted them, they'd always miss enemies in battle. If I ever promoted an employee and their performance became immediately worse in all areas, they would be fired and then receive a severe beating! But once their levels started rising again, they became super power houses. It does take lots of patience, but leveling up the characters in this game is really fun, at least it was for me. It's certainly nowhere as tedious as leveling up in regular RPGs. There are only 30 battles in the game, but it seems like much more as the battles are usually fairly big and you'll be doing many more than once since you'll want to "egress" back to towns in order to survive. There's a lot of detail I won't go into like how different characters have different ranges, spells and all of that crap. Just know that there's plenty of variety and if you don't like this game, you are dead to me.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce4.png
See??!! I told you the backgrounds change often!
(Really, they do!)

Wrap up:
While it likely isn't the first console game in the Strategy RPG genre, it definitely was the first good one. I played this game for 9 days, only skipping one day due to having a semi-life, before I finally beat it. It doesn't have a timer so I don't know how many hours it took. Oh well, I'd rather not rush through the game to get the lowest time possible. This game is not extremely rare nor ultra common, but it is definitely worth having. I was sad when the game was over because there were no more battles to fight, but really happy at the same time since now I can play Shining Force 2!

Alexander
10-03-2007, 07:27 PM
I probably won't ever play it. If you have a PSP, you should try Jeanne d'Arc. Cool SRPG.

Joe Redifer
10-03-2007, 08:11 PM
I've heard of that... but only by name. Never seen a screen.

Alexander
10-03-2007, 10:00 PM
Well obviously it's based on French history but takes (great) liberties in the story department, which includes demons and shit. The combat requires a lot of strategy rather than pure power and the difficulty is just perfect.

Also some interesting themes explored.

Joe Redifer
10-04-2007, 12:26 AM
Well, maybe someday, but I'm all about Shining Force right now.

tpfkanep
10-04-2007, 01:53 AM
Shining Force
9/10
Sega GenesisIt does take lots of patience, but leveling up the characters in this game is really fun, at least it was for me.Oh yeah. It never feels like grinding. Superb game. More or less in the same mould as Fire Emblem (or should that be the other way around?), and once one gets started, unputdownable. This game has great AI.

Vicviper
10-04-2007, 06:23 PM
Good game and great review! I beat this game only hours before Joe beat it. This makes me better a better person then Joe. You are so right about the music. It is very repetitive and gets old quickly. I think there is only 6 music tracks in the whole game! Let's see Title, story, town, battle, map and ending. So few music tracks should have made for better composition. I'll forgive them since the game is so good.
I like that there are 20 characters in the game as this will add replay value. Next time through I will pick different peeps to be in my group. I did keep Bleu the dragon and after his promotion he became mighty powerful. Shining Force 2 will be my next game after Zelda: PH.
tpfkanep- "unputdownable"? nice. Fire emblem is a good SRPG but it has one flaw that I really don't like. After a character dies they are unusable for the rest of the game. I don't like this. I like Shining Force where you can pay the holy man to raise people from the dead.
Another great SRPG that I liked was Vandal Hearts (PS1). Great game although the graphics are quite dated now.

Alexander
10-04-2007, 08:29 PM
Vandal Hearts, eh? I've never tried that. And all of a sudden I'm interested in Shining Force. Are there any remakes or ports of it?

Vicviper
10-05-2007, 12:20 AM
Yeah Vandal Hearts is good. Konami made it and Alucard can tell you about Konami.
Shining Force is on the Virtual Console for Wii. I don't know if it's available in the Euro but it is here in the States.

Joe Redifer
10-05-2007, 01:03 AM
Alexander is not in Euro-land. He's in Kansas, which is in Canada I think.

artraider
10-05-2007, 02:20 AM
Its in the best Country in the world the USA! :D

Paper exe
10-05-2007, 06:59 AM
Yeah Vandal Hearts is good. Konami made it and Alucard can tell you about Konami.
Shining Force is on the Virtual Console for Wii. I don't know if it's available in the Euro but it is here in the States.
Yeah that and the GBA version. In fact I have the GBA version of the game. I promoted my characters too soon..I think, so I decided to play a new game...I stopped after that to be honest, maybe I will play it later!

Vicviper
10-05-2007, 06:18 PM
I forgot about the GBA version. I wonder where it falls into the story of Shining Force series.

I also wonder why I thought Alexander was in Euro.

Joe Redifer
10-05-2007, 07:24 PM
Because I think his avatar is that fatso from that Euro movie called "Full Monty".

eastx
10-21-2007, 07:46 AM
I forgot about the GBA version. I wonder where it falls into the story of Shining Force series.

I also wonder why I thought Alexander was in Euro.

The GBA version of Shining Force is a remake of Sega Genesis Shining Force, so it falls in the same place.

Joe, I like what you said about the wall jump in Super Metroid. That move is impossible! The part where you have to use it to climb a shaft took me forever...

Joe Redifer
10-22-2007, 12:23 AM
Yes, I wanted to shoot those damn chimps or whatever they were that did it with ease over and over and over, clearly mocking me.

Joe Redifer
11-01-2007, 09:41 PM
Shining Force 2
9/10
Sega Genesis

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce2_box.jpg
Yeesh! What an ugly bastard!

After completing Shining Force, I just had to play through Shining Force 2 immediately. Good thing I owned the game and it was ready for me! Surprisingly I had never rented or played Shining Force 2 before I bought it a couple of months ago. I guess the Genesis rental business took a dive by the time this was released as I always made a point to play every single game even if it didn't look interesting to me (I even rented The Little Mermaid for cryin' out loud). Anyway they've made some interesting tweaks to the game engine itself as well as adding many more battles. It's more of the same yet different at the same time.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce2_1.gif
Here we go again! 2D is perfect for strategy RPGs.

Story: 5/10
Been there, done that. Nothing new here. Something bad happens, a princess is kidnapped, you must save the world and stuff like that. I found myself not really caring too much about the story, but not enough to where I totally forgot about it. It's there and it serves its purpose, but you won't see any great novels written about it nor will you see an Uwe Boll Shining Force 2 movie.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce2_2.gif
They got creative with the enemy names this time.
"Gizmo" for an evil cloud? Creativity +100!

Graphics: 7/10
The graphics have definitely improved over part 1. We get more detail in just about everything now as well as an additional background layer in some scenes. This extra extra layer can make it difficult to see where you can move at times in battle due to the shadow/highlight not working on the transparent part, though. Not really a big deal. The battle sequences still look pretty good but there are still plenty of color-swapped enemies. Most of your playable characters (30 total) have their own unique graphics for these scenes, which is nice. The scrolling tries to be smoother than the last game by starting out slow and then speeding up. This can feel a bit odd, but you'll get used to it after maybe 5 or 10 seconds. For some reason there is an ever-present black bar running all the way down the left side of the screen for the entire game except for the battles. What's up with that? This game doesn't have any special effects like Gunstar Heroes where the left-most column needs to be hidden. The interesting part is that there are some unique rotation effects in certain battles when using a certain sorcerer's certain magic, and there is no black bar there. There is even a tiny bit of scaling when getting in and out of the caravan. Not really noteworthy, but I don't have anything else to write about here. The towns don't look ass-tasticly simple like they did in the first game, meaning that you might actually think this is a 16-bit game when looking at the towns.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce2_3.gif
These battles can be a bit tough at first.
Characters taunt you and hurt your feelings.

Sound: 8/10
The music is definitely better this time in both composition, sound quality and variation, though it can still get repetitive at times due to the game's length. There's more than one piece of music during battle now, thank goodness, and it changes when you promote someone. Sound effects are mostly the same as the previous game. The musical instruments sound very similar to Ghouls 'n Ghosts' sound library, only different. Presented in (((stereo))). Unfortunately this game does not feature Rob Zombie's "Dragula" nor anything from Kris Kross.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce2_4.gif
Who names a bird "Peter"? Seriously, what the hell?
He also sports a toupee in the beginning of the game.
He is a major powerhouse in this game, though.

Gameplay: 9/10
This is a strategy RPG, but fortunately the battles aren’t drowning in endless enemy statistics and percentages like many other, much more boring SRPGs (for example, Final Fantasy Tactics, etc). This makes the battles a great deal of fun instead of a sleep-inducing study of analytical data. However, some of the battles are extremely small and kind of pathetic. Many of the battles can be fought again and again as they trap you when you walk over a certain part of the map each and every time. You can't use these for leveling up much, though, as the enemies always seem to only give 1 experience point when they die. Assholes. Anyway, the game plays almost exactly the same as Shining Force 1 (http://www.the-magicbox.com/forums/showthread.php?p=444554#post444554), so if you're curious read my previous review I did recently. In both Shining games I have noticed an option called "repair" in the weapons shop. What is this? None of my weapons have ever broken. Maybe my game playing skillz are too awesome and I do not need this function... that must be it. One nice thing that is better about Shining Force 2 is that your characters don't immediately start sucking ass when you promote them, even if you promote them early. Many characters can be promoted two different ways depending on if you happen to have an item in your possession. If the priest informs you that your guy/girl can be promoted because you have the item, do it. It's always the better choice. But don't feel too bad if you never found the item (which differs for each character). I was able to level up two of my dudes so high that his maximum hit points were displayed as ?? instead of an actual number. Rock on! This game is really hard toward the end, but obviously quite beatable. Can YOU do it?

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/shiningforce2_5.jpg
That's right, you can now learn multiple offensive spells.
Just be careful to always have enough points left for Egress!

Wrap up:
A great follow-up and a great game in it's own right as well. You do not need to be familiar with the first game at all to enjoy this. I prefer the original game's pace a little more than this one. It just seemed to be put together better. This one definitely dives more into the RPG side than the first one did, and there were at least a few times where I did not know what the hell was going on or what I had to do to get the damn game to advance. It still gets a 9 for the improved audio/visual experience with the same great strategy, though. Now the question is what should should I play next? Should it be Shining Force CD (Sega CD) which seems like a mix of both 1 and 2 as far as the way it is built, or Shining Force 3 (Saturn) which drowns you in text dialog, glitchy and slow 3D graphics which do more to harm the gameplay than help but has a slightly-above-average soundtrack. Or maybe I should just play Q-Bert?

NES4EVER
11-02-2007, 12:54 AM
Never owned or played Shining Force 3 or the two SF games on PS2. SF 1, 2, CD I loved though. I'd actually like to see your review on the Saturn game to maybe sway me one way or another into perhaps buying it.

Hikash
11-02-2007, 02:42 PM
Maybe try something else in the genre, like Vandal Hearts, Tactics Ogre, or Final Fantasy Tactics.

Or maybe something totally different, like Neo Contra. The dialog and voice acting in that game is awesome.

Joe Redifer
11-02-2007, 06:16 PM
You might see why I'm not too tremendously interested in many other strategy RPG games by reading the first couple of sentences under the "Gameplay" section. I just want to have fun, I don't want to contrast and compare bucketloads of analytical data.

Mistatee
11-02-2007, 07:03 PM
I recommend Front Mission 3 for the Ps1, assuming you enjoy customizing robots as if your playing Armored Core. However, if you dont, forget I said anything.

Joe Redifer
11-02-2007, 07:17 PM
I could have swore Mistatee posted in my thread. Did he? I forgot. :)

Joe Redifer
11-03-2007, 08:25 PM
The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass
5/10
Nintendo DS

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/zeldaph_box.jpg
I hope that whoever thought up the idea of the hourglass
gets high cholesterol and abdominal gas cramps.

Normally I'm not a fan of Zelda games. They aren't anything special. I did enjoy the SNES version, though. When I saw that this version offered unique DS control, I decided that it might be different enough to be fun. Even though the Wii version also has unique control, I don't like the motion-sensing crap that the Wii does (except for Metroid Prime 3, so far). Plus the game looked boring as all hell. Can the DS Zelda offer some quality time? Kinda.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/zeldaph1.jpg
The ship automatically turns and the camera does not, and
it sucks to turn manually. Oh, you get to jump random
things that just happen to be in your path as well!

Story: 2/10
Sucks. If you are between the ages of 2-5, the story might appeal to you. I think Nintendo might have some sort of Michael Jackson syndrome because they seem to be waaay too infatuated with children (that's what their games and systems are aimed at).

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/zeldaph2.jpg
Later on in the game the dead skeletons demand money to talk to you.
WHAT THE HELL IS AN IMMOBILE SKELETON GOING TO DO WITH MONEY????

Graphics: 4/10
The graphics are pretty bad. They most certainly are NOT cell-shaded. They are very ugly, similar to Playstation 1 graphics moving at a slightly higher speed. The DS should try to shy away from 3D graphics. There is no reason for this game to have 3D graphics. It would have looked much better in 2D and lost nothing in the gameplay department (especially considering how little it has to lose). Hell, it would have probably gained in the gameplay aspect simply because in 3D it's hard to see exactly where you are when you must go through poles on an invisible path, etc.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/zeldaph5.jpg
Here's a shot of the top and bottom screen together.
It's hard to lose in this game. Even harder to stay awake.

Sound: 3/10
The music sucks ass. It's very similar every other Zelda game ever made. The dungeon music seems like it consists of only one note over and over and over and over. The sailing/title theme is kind of good, but that's as good as the music gets. The sound effects are nothing special, either. You do get a Japanese bitch saying "Hey!" a lot. I thought the game had some ultra-realistic snoring sounds, but that turned out to be me.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/zeldaph4.jpg
This dumb bitch keeps attacking you while you sail.
Again and again and again. Leave me be, whore!

Gameplay: 5/10
Zelda is NOT an action RPG. Anyone who thinks it is is a fool. It's a puzzle game, nothing more. Your hand is held as you make your way through the game. The dungeons are the puzzles which consist solely of stepping on or otherwise triggering switches to get past obstacles. Sometimes you must carry a shape to a platform to trigger a switch. Wow. The control really isn't too bad, but this game would have worked better with normal human control. My hand often got in the way of the screen and no way in hell was it more comfortable or better than using the d-pad + buttons. The game is as easy as cake. In fact the most challenging this about this game was getting up the ambition to play it. I kept telling myself things like "OK I'm going to play Zelda today, really I am" and then forget about it for a few days. When I did play it, I found myself going back to the same timed dungeon that's at the beginning of the game again and gain ad nauseam. I haven't yet finished the game and am sick of it. Fuck it, it's just too boring. I'd rather start on Phoenix Wright 3. Also, that dungeon relies a lot on stealth. What is this, Metal Gear Solid? Other things about the game that are bad was the sailing which is boring and extremely sllloooooowwww. The game should omit the sailing completely. Fucking Christ! You can draw notes on maps and whatnot and that was kind of cool even if the answers were still easily memorized or obvious. You can find new parts for your ship and customize it. WHAT THE FUCK? What is this, Gran Turismo? I hate the ship parts of the game and the last thing I want to do is play dress up with the thing. Some of the bosses are kind of fun, I'll give it that. There is also some wireless mode that I don't give a rat's ass about.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/zeldaph3.jpg
Oh, NOW the sailing becomes less annoying. Too late
you fucks, you should have done this right at the start.

Wrap up:
If you like fairly easy puzzle games where your hand is always in the way and are under 6 years old, you may like this one. I find it interesting that the Zelda clones (Golvellius, Crusader of Centy/Soliel, Golden Axe Warrior, etc) are always better than real Zelda games.

Paper exe
11-04-2007, 07:10 AM
You clearly trying to hate it when you played the game. The graphics are the strongest for NDS as of yet and very close to the NGC game windwaker. You just hated the art style not something that would make the game look bad. But knowing you you mostly said what you said for a joke. The sailing are no way slow. You can go through the whole map on the game on few minutes. It only takes few seconds to reach your destination and they are usually close to you. There are shortcuts, which you get very early on the game and just when there start to be areas in different places that needs to be explored. Not only that but the shortcuts put you in places very close to all islands. You are giving people wrong impression of the game with your exaggerated comment about sailing.
About your hand problem, didn't find it a problem with NDS lite style. I can see that problem in the original NDS style though.

Honestly, you complained about some ridicules mean less stuff and make big deals out of it even if some of them hardly exists. You wouldn't enjoy games if you keep doing that. Being negative is lame and going to harm you the most nor would you sound any cooler sense everyone is doing it.

Icarus4578
11-05-2007, 03:39 AM
Pretty much spot-on review, only I would've given it less, like maybe a 4 or a 3. Any game which leaves me bored with it after only a couple play sessions doesn't deserve a good rating, which is exactly Zelda PH's problem: it's dull. The story isn't intriguing enough to hold my interest, and the gameplay sure as hell isn't either. Like you said, Nintendo wants to hold everybody's hand. Why must there be health items EVERYWHERE, including boss encounters which are supposed to be challenging? Also, it has far and away the shoddiest excuse for a soundtrack in any Zelda, nay, perhaps any Nintendo game ever! How can they release something as enjoyable as Minish Cap, short though that was, and not know how to do it right? Actually, that was developed by the now-defunct Flagship, with Nintendo overseeing the production.

Seriously, Nintendo is selling out to the casual gamers more and more. I only have high hopes for Mario Galaxy. What else is on the horizon? No word of a new Punch-Out!, no Kid Icarus, no new series that really grabs people's attention. Instead, we'll get another thousand psuedo-sports games and offbeat titles featuring Mario and other NPCs in order to make them sell better. The Nintendo of 1985 is long gone.

tpfkanep
11-05-2007, 04:06 AM
Why must there be health items EVERYWHERE, including boss encounters which are supposed to be challenging?This sounds just like Twilight Princess.

Vicviper
11-05-2007, 07:08 PM
Shining Force II is a great game so far....I've only been playing about 2 hours. Your review is good and right on so far. Everything has been improved on even if only a little. Thank God they spent more time improving the music. I can hear the same musical instruments as G&G but also some from Castle of Illusion. I'm looking forward to finishing this game in the, hopefully, near future.

Your review of Zelda was good. I enjoyed the game more than you but not by much. I constantly cringed as I had to go back to the hourglass dungeon over and over. Way to repetitive and time consuming. It's a total bore waiting to sneak past the guards. Stunning them with arrows was ok but still boring. It was only worth it when I was able to kill them. I know there are some islands that are out there that I never found but I really didn't feel the desire to find them. I also had problems with my hand covering the screen as I moved in one direction. I could rarely do the roll as I think it was more of a oval action and not a circle. The control over all was fair as there were times I couldn't slash my sword even though I was doing the correct motion. The best thing this game had for it was the boss battles. They were each enjoyable from the 1st to the last. It's strange that I didn't enjoy this game as I really liked Wind Waker. Probably my least favorite Zelda game. Manual controls would have worked better and should have been an option.

Joe Redifer
11-05-2007, 07:48 PM
Manual controls would have worked better and should have been an option.
Options are always good!

Alexander
11-05-2007, 08:59 PM
I totally agree with your Zelda review. Play Phoenix Wright 3 next, I'm playing it now.

It's got some surprising moments. The characters in case 3 are just strange.

Joe Redifer
11-05-2007, 09:18 PM
I'm only on case 2 and they're already pretty strange.

Seraph
11-05-2007, 10:54 PM
If you enjoy Shining Force, i would reccomend Fire Emblem. Its not crazy on stats and calculation likes other SRPG's are.

I finally tried Phenoix Wright. I really love it even if it is a glorified novel. One of my favorite DS games. I havent gotten the 2nd one yet, but the whole thing with the chains scare me. Is it that bad, or even a fun improvement?

I'm going to pick up PH soon. I more or less know why you, Icarus and Xander didnt enjoy it, but hearing reports from members like Darren and tons of zelda fans who think its great, I think I will.

Mistatee
11-05-2007, 11:03 PM
I have a feeling if you liked Twilight Princess and Wind Waker than PH should be enjoyable.

Seraph
11-05-2007, 11:13 PM
I havent played TP yet, but I really enjoyed WW outside of the triforce hunt. WW would be my favorite Zelda if not for that dumb hunt.

Joe Redifer
11-05-2007, 11:14 PM
the whole thing with the chains scare me. Is it that bad, or even a fun improvement?
It can be annoying if you don't have enough evidence yet. When you see that happen, save it and then go try it. If you keep failing, reload and go find the evidence before trying again. If you have the evidence it is kind of fun.

Seraph
11-05-2007, 11:22 PM
It can be annoying if you don't have enough evidence yet. When you see that happen, save it and then go try it. If you keep failing, reload and go find the evidence before trying again. If you have the evidence it is kind of fun.I thought the lock thing was a in-court only event? Is it actually possible to enter court without the game forcing you to find all the evidence you need? Or does this chain thing happen outside of court so you can still walk around?

Joe Redifer
11-05-2007, 11:24 PM
The chain thing only happens outside of court. It's impossible to go to court until the game thinks you have everything. It really is kind of like an interactive novel, but still exceedingly fun.

Seraph
11-05-2007, 11:32 PM
It really is kind of like an interactive novel, but still exceedingly fun.Yes, Yes and Thanks :)

Alexander
11-06-2007, 04:58 PM
I have a feeling if you liked Twilight Princess and Wind Waker than PH should be enjoyable.
I think that's the very reason I didn't like PH. I loved those two to death and PH was just a simplified version of those.

Hikash
11-07-2007, 11:50 AM
Not to harp on this, but most Strategy games aren't the stat fests you imagine. Final Fantasy Tactics, for instance, is more about finding the right combination of abilities, and less about getting a character that has X attack power (though it could be played that way as well).

All I'm saying is that the genre is more than just shinning force and some of these games are pretty good. If you do want to play another, but want to stick to something more like Shining force, then, you really should look at Arc the Lad or Vandal Hearts.

If you're looking for something all together different (and you don't review phoenix wright 3), maybe try Jade Empire, or Knights of the Old Republic (or maybe Mass Effect).

Mistatee
11-07-2007, 02:45 PM
I think that's the very reason I didn't like PH. I loved those two to death and PH was just a simplified version of those.

I see.
I am actually scared to ask as to how you can simplify TP... I assume your speaking mechanics wise, ala not as many puzzles etc, since TP is one of the easiest games I have ever seen.

Paper exe
11-07-2007, 03:05 PM
It is not. The puzzles are a lot harder and more fun. You just brought a valid point Messta and I think it something none of HP haters and TP lovers can answer, sense they loved TP based on fanboyism and hype to begin with. The game is more challenging than TP if the higher verity of enemies and very good boss fights weren’t enough than the new control helps it. In TP you start as a master if you manage to play any of the older 3D Zelda games sense it controlled exactly the same and most of it items are available in these games with the same usage method. Hardly anything new to master and no new enemies even the old once have almost the exact pattern that they had before. I am telling you if you loved TP and hated HP then you are biased in my book. Heck, anyone who complains about something in a game and completely ignores it in the other game even if it has it worst is definitely one and a retard too!

Joe Redifer
11-10-2007, 02:43 AM
Virtua Fighter 5 Online
8/10
Xbox 360

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/vf5_box.jpg
It's a game box, what can I say?

It's a fact that everyone loves Virtua Fighter games more than all other games. Its also a fact that the Playstation 3 is selling worse than chocolate-coated cat testicles. The Xbox360 is a huge seller since people usually buy 3 or 4 of them due to its incompetent design. So it's only logical that Virtua Fighter 5 would abandon Sony and further take a huge dump on them by offering Xbox 360 players ONLINE PLAY! OMG!!!!! As you know, online is the future of gaming. Everyone who's anyone is all about the 1337 online play. Single player games should be illegal.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/vf51.jpg
You've got 18 characters to choose from now. What kind of sucks is that you are asked to choose
player data before picking your character. This makes choosing a character a bit more cumbersome
as you must go and choose "play without using data" before every match in two player mode.

Story: ?/10
I don't think there really is a story. The manual insists otherwise, but there's nothing in the game that has anything even remotely to do with a story. The characters have no endings at all, it goes straight to credits when you beat it. If you want to know how the story turns out in this game, read the manual when Virtua Fighter 6 comes out. Arcade-style games like this don't really need stories, though ending sequences would be nice.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/vf52.jpg
This game endorses punching women in the face. If you play it, then so do you.

Graphics: 8/10
Virtua Fighter 5 runs natively at 1280x720 (720p), which is even better than the 32X version of the original. It looks pretty bitchin'. Everything seems really, really shiny and that is a bit odd, but otherwise it's all ace. The characters even have reflections in water and shiny floors, which is something that Tecmo seems unable to do with their shitty graphic engines. Maybe someday they'll learn. The textures and all that crap are very good, and the game runs at 60fps without slowing down or dropping frames. Most of the environments look gorgeous. I like the water splashing and the snow flying, etc. What absolutely blows my mind is that there isn't any v-sync tearing at all! This is the Xbox 360 we're talking about. Leave it to the Japanese to do what Western programmers are much too incompetent to do.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/vf53.jpg
Vanessa here opted for the typical "cantaloupe halves under the skin" style of breast implants.

Sound: 7/10
The sounds are pretty much the same as Virtua Fighter 4 with some new phrases added in by the same actors (as far as I can tell). Happily, the music is legions better than part 4. Each stage has a unique theme whereas VF4 was pretty much just generic electric guitar tunes that only promoted boredom. For example Lau's Great Wall stage sounds very reminiscent of something you might hear in Shenmue 2, and Wolf's winter stage reminds me of something that might be in Out Run 2. Of course there are many musical selections that don't remind me of something else, but at least the soundtrack has character. Even the menus and whatnot have pleasant music. Virtua Fighter games haven't had memorable music since part 2, so this is good. There are also some 5.1 surround effects that are kind of cool, but nothing mindblowing.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/vf54.jpg
Shun still rocks. He never holds the bottles when he drinks, but he goes through the motions.

Gameplay: 8/10
This game is quite addictive and fun. The gameplay is far less stiff than part 4. But like that game, this features a "Quest" mode where you earn extra costumes and orbs and other useless crap. There isn't any story in Quest mode, you're just trying to beat other players at an arcade machine in a fantasy world where the only game at every arcade is Virtua Fighter 5. Many players suck, while others are quite good. Keep playing to increase your rank and get cash to buy useless junk. You can participate in tournaments and the like. It's not very in depth, but it is still pretty enjoyable. Two new characters, Eileen and El Blaze, join the roster. Still missing is the fat sumo guy from VF3. If you've played any Virtua Fighter game before, then you pretty much know how this plays (though the jumps from parts 1 and 2 are gone). This one feels more fluid than the past games. I haven't played the online mode because I REFUSE to play for Xbox Live Gold, but I was able to download some cool replays with my Silver account that other people uploaded.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/vf55.jpg
Ryu, errr, I mean Akira here is extremely excited that he won a match.

Wrap up:
The Playstation 3 version is probably exactly the same, minus the online stuff. If you like Virtua Fighter games, it is definitely worth picking up... especially for only $39.99.

Vegetto
11-10-2007, 03:24 AM
yeah im highly enjoying it, and yes Shun Di pwns, hes my char, I've mastered some new techniques today with him, I need to get a live account so I can play you guys

eastx
11-19-2007, 10:33 AM
Nice Virtua Fighter review... You did seem to go into your Zelda DS review with a lot of bias though. Those graphics are nice and it's not like the DS doesn't have enough 2D games already.

Alexander
11-19-2007, 11:46 AM
Zelda Phantom Hourglass has good graphics from a technical standpoint, but from me actually looking at it, they suck ass.

Paper exe
11-19-2007, 05:50 PM
No they don't. They look almost like the NGC one.

Alexander
11-19-2007, 05:52 PM
No they don't. They look almost like the NGC one.
Absolutely false.

Reality
11-19-2007, 10:27 PM
I concur.

Paper exe
11-20-2007, 06:22 AM
You lot are blind for not seeing that then.
Honestly now this game looks as close as it could be to the NGC game. Just less colorful and on lower resolution and smaller screen. The game looks great in motion nothing wrong with it. Some of you are just being blind haters to NDS graphics heck some of you actually think that N64 has better graphics than NDS. How blind and forgetful is that!? lol

Joe Redifer
11-20-2007, 06:49 PM
Some of you are just being blind haters to NDS graphics
No, you're just being a blind lover.

Zachalmighty
11-20-2007, 07:37 PM
No, you're just being a blind lover.
Love is definitely based on sex appeal, which is based on sight!!! He cant be blind.

Review SMG!! Plz

Or Kid Chameleon for the Sega Genesis.

Joe Redifer
11-20-2007, 08:19 PM
I am currently writing reviews for two different games, one of them being Super Mario Galaxy. It may be awhile before I post them (at least December 1) because I am changing servers and will first have to go back and change the URL for every single picture in this thread. Fun times ahead.

Joe Redifer
12-03-2007, 04:55 AM
Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations
8/10
DS

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/pw3_box.jpg
The box art mimics that of part 2. Yay.

Yet another Phoenix Wright game means yet another purchase for me. This game can be called "Phoenix Wright 3" and was again adapted from a GameBoy Advance game. Nobody cares, though, as the DS version rocks. Phoenix Wright 1 (http://www.the-magicbox.com/forums/showthread.php?p=357601#post357601) as well as Phoenix Wright 2 (http://www.the-magicbox.com/forums/showthread.php?p=400544#post400544) were both really cool, and part 3 lives up to and exceeds them. It also introduces the suave Godot who wants nothing more than to see you fail. This is supposedly the final chapter in the Phoenix Wright story arc, and we'll see a new lead character in upcoming "Ace Attorney" games. I'm sure Phoenix will have plenty of cameos, though.

Story: 8/10
The story in this game is awesome. Where the other two games had a lame case each (Steel Samurai in the first game and that circus episode in the second), this one has none. Even though there is one flamboyant case, it is still quite enjoyable. Everything is well written and you'll get to see some of the origins of Phoenix himself as well as his hottie mentor, Mia. Humor is present and I even LOL'd a few times. Since the story is the main anchor of this game, it had damn well better be engrossing. It is.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/pw3_1.jpg
This guy sure has a tight relationship with his ass.

Graphics: 8/10
The graphics are the same as before with new characters and backgrounds. No 3D polygons in this one, sorry. There is a bit of transparency on some character's clothing. The DS seems to have trouble fading in and out on transparencies, just like the SNES. But it doesn't detract from anything in this game. I'm just looking for something to write about in this paragraph, you see. The artwork in this game is awesome as always with great expressions and other nonsensical stuff like that.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/pw3_2.jpg
There are a couple of typos in the game.

Sound: 8/10
Again much of the music from the previous games return as well as newly composed stuff. It still sounds like the TurboGrafx-16/PC Engine, but that can't be a bad thing. Some of the new music is quite sorrowful and really fits the mood and some "reinterpretations" of past themes don't sound quite as nice as the previous games (the Objection theme comes to mind), though they are all still awesome. Noriyuki Iwadare, composer of Devil's Crush and of course the world famous Steel Empire, is credited for the music in this game. He tends to be a bit more jazzy than the previous composers, but it works very well. I hope they keep him on for the rest of the series, but at the same time I love the previous music guys quite a bit. Hopefully they can collaborate. Godot's theme makes me laugh, especially since it is also his ringtone! It's just so... him!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/pw3_3.jpg
This, however, is most decidedly NOT a typo!

Gameplay: 8/10
Pretty much the same as the previous two games with some slight tweaks. You can now choose how a witness alters their testimony in some cases. If it isn't working out for you, you can alter it back. The Psyche-locks return, but this time I really didn't get annoyed with them at all. That's probably because I had dealt with them before. Always save before trying to defeat a Psyche-lock. You can still shout "Objection!" and "Hold it!" into the microphone, but that is lame and only losers will bother, especially since you have to hold a button to do it in the first place... I wonder how many people acutally do that. The game moves on at a fairly brisk pace unless you really suck at gaming, but the game isn't short. It has 5 cases as opposed to the previous game's 4, but two of these cases seem a bit too short for me. I wanted there to be more cases. The final case is quite a doozy (yes, a doozy) and can take quite awhile. Since I only ever play the DS in bed before I go to sleep, this game took me a few weeks to finish. I had a great time the whole way through and often stayed up later than I should just to see what happened next.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/pw3_4.jpg
Ummmm.... yeah. No comment.

Wrap up:
A fantastic sequel to the previous games and a great game in its own right. You don't need to have played through the previous two games to enjoy this, but it is highly recommended that you do. Phoenix Wright owns. The fact that a dude named Armando is in the game makes it a mandatory purchase. I really look forward to seeing what they do with the series next.

Nindalf
12-03-2007, 07:55 AM
great review. would read again.

Alexander
12-03-2007, 08:03 AM
I can't understand why people don't like these games. They have everything!

Including the "THIS IS S.P.A.R.T.A.!" comment, which felt a little late.

Seraph
12-04-2007, 02:13 AM
Brilliant, I am glad to hear PW3 is good.

How would you compare the music to the first two games? I think the first games soundtrack is downright fantastic and while the second games is good, it just dosent compare to the firsts.

Joe Redifer
12-04-2007, 03:36 AM
The first will always be the best, but part 3's music is better than part 2 in my opinion mainly due to the sorrowful/lonely stuff that's really appropriate in parts. It's certainly no slouch.

Alexander
12-04-2007, 08:16 AM
Didn't the original Rockman composer write Wright's stuff?

Paper exe
12-04-2007, 08:19 AM
If that true then that guy is diffidently a genius and still are! <3 <3 <3 <3

Joe Redifer
12-04-2007, 12:24 PM
Akemi Kimura and some other guy did the music for the first two games I believe.

Noriyuki Iwadare did the music for the third.

Joe Redifer
12-05-2007, 06:39 PM
Super Mario Galaxy
9/10
Nintendo Wii

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermariogalaxy_box.jpg
Super Mario World, then Galaxy... I wonder
what they'll call the next game in the series.

The first Mario game which I ever tolerated much less enjoyed was the USA version of Super Mario Bros 2 (the Japanese version sucks ass and can rot in Hell). I never really paid much attention to Super Mario Bros 3 as it just didn't look as appealing to me as part 2 did. When the SNES came around, I fell in love with Super Mario World. After that I tried to play part 3 again, but it felt like a poor man's Super Mario World. The next Super Mario game that was made was Super Mario 64 (things like "Yoshi's Island" are not proper Super Mario games). Super Mario 64 blew me away with its expansive worlds and fun challenges. The camera pissed me off somewhat, but at the time I really didn't know any better. Then came Super Mario Sunshine for the Gamecube Nintendo. That game was complete ass. I hated it with a passion due to its extreme amount of suckage. I sold it and have never regretted it, though I am still in therapy due to the mental damage that crapfest of a game caused. I would rather play Shove It: The Warehouse Game starring Stevedore than Super Mario Sunshine. Memories of that game are bad because Nintendo failed so hard. I did not have high hopes for Super Mario Galaxy, especially since it was on the Wii and would therefore contain motion-sensing nonsense. Thankfully I expected the worst and got the best!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermariogalaxy1.jpg
You need to give these greedy bastards a bunch of star bits before they will help you go to new places and save the universe.
Fortunately star bits are otherwise useless to you other than the fact that you can shoot and stun some enemies with them.

Story: 2/10
A game like this doesn't need much of a story. A game without an overly dramatic story which overshadows the gameplay? Can you handle it? Anyway, Princess Peach has invited you to some kind of 100 year gathering about stars or some lame shit like that. Mario is, of course, the very last one to arrive, that lazy fuck. The castle is suddenly ripped off of the ground by Bowser who plans to kidnap and repeatedly rape Princess Peach. The entire universe is in extreme danger! By sheer coincidence, Mario happens to be sucked away into space as well and wakes up on a strange planet which is about the size of my smallest bathroom. The entire civilization of this world consists of three bunnies. You catch them all in a game of hide and seek, so you are deemed competent enough to save the entire universe. You are sucked away to some floating thingy with a hot chick that lets you access her bedroom, among other places. She knows you only care about finding your special one and plans to help you. I am surprised that she doesn't want to sex you up, being that unless she is shoving lumas up her snatch, she isn't gettin' any.
http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermariogalaxy2.jpg
Bee Mario is probably one of the best Mario "costumes" ever. You can't sting anyone (otherwise you'd die). Maybe in the next
game you'll be able to become Pissed Off Wasp Mario and repeatedly sting enemies to a slow, poisonous and painful death.

Graphics: 9/10
The graphics are really good for the Gamecube Nintendo. They approach and maybe even surpass Xbox quality (the first Xbox, not the 360). Mario almost always appears backlit and this helps things to look cool. The planets themselves often have really cool warping or other effects going on, and the textures look quite nice as well. The game runs at a solid 60 frames per second. There is a giant, fuzzy mole which reminds me of Donkey Kong Jungle Beat (or is it Donkey Konga?) with the fur, and I always thought that looked cool. The graphics here do not try to be realistic, and they don't need to be. The artwork and style is all very nice, and if you don't appreciate it then it is likely you don't have functioning eyeballs. There is definitely one thing this game has an abundance of which you don't see very much on the Xbox360 and Playstation 3... COLOR! That's right, actual color. Everything isn't grey and dark like most next-generation games which are usually either melodramatic combat games or games that take place in the future, etc. Regardless, they are largely monotone in their presentations, whereas Super Mario Galaxy is definitely not. The feeling of flight from planet to planet here is awesome thanks to the built-in scaling and rotation. There are lots of jaggies, but it is a small price to pay. This game would benefit from a higher resolution and larger polygon count (to make the curves smoother, etc), but I guess beggars can't be choosers. 16:9 and 480p are supported.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermariogalaxy3.jpg
This boss was kind of a bitch for me because it was hard for me to figure out when I was centered over him. He still went down
and died at my skillful hands, though. Like most games these days, the bosses adapt their strategy as you fight them.

Sound: 8/10
The sound effects themselves are average, and some of the voices (namely Mario's) are extremely annoying. When you go to the disc channel in the Wii menu, "SUPER MARIO GALAXY!!!" is shouted in your face at about +12db. There is no way to skip this and you can't press start fast enough. You have absolutely no choice but to press the MUTE button until this has passed, that is unless you really want to get revenge on your ears for some reason. The music in this game is fantastic and quite different than any other Mario game. While a few old tunes do resurface here and there, the new stuff is mostly orchestral instead of the candyland happy happy tunes you usually expect from Mario games. Though the music is awesome during gameplay and truly fits the various worlds, the musical selections aren't exactly super-memorable. You won't find yourself humming these tunes, and I doubt that they'll ever resurface in future Mario games. In other words, the music is awesome, but not classic. The game attempts some Dolby Pro-Logic 2, but it is half-assed as a result of the wimpy nature of Dolby Pro-Logic 2. Almost everyone has 5.1 receivers now, Nintendo. There was no reason not to include that on the Wii, for fuck's sake.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermariogalaxy4.jpg
The whole concept of gravity in this game is absolutely fantastic! There are also blue stars that you can grab on to in order to pull
Mario from place to place. It's pretty fun, and the sound that's made when you're doing this reminds me of a sick homeless person.

Gameplay: 9/10
The gameplay took me a bit to get used to as it was initially a tad disorientating. The nunchuck is required, there is no option to use the Gamecube controller. Anyway, the gameplay is very similar to Super Mario 64 where you must collect a crapload of stars by accomplishing different tasks. Some moves return from that game as well and new costumes have been added. You can turn into Bee Mario, which I surprisingly found quite awesome. Then there is Boo Mario, where you turn into Kirby with a mustache. This mode is also fun and you can go through certain walls. You also have Fireball Mario, Ice Mario, Invincible Mario, Flying Mario and lamest of all, Spring Mario. Yes, Spring Mario. The creative department must have been snorting ants off of Eddie Murphy's ass when they thought this one up. I hate it when I have to be Spring Mario. I also find it very hard to control Mario while he is swimming unless he has a turtle shell, especially when I try to turn around. Ug. Flying is a similar story. The camera pissed me off a few times... it likes to zoom out waaay too far on occasion, and on other occasions it situates itself to that Mario is running towards the screen which I always find awkward. Any attempt to adjust the camera is usually futile. It really isn't a huge issue, though.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermariogalaxy5.jpg
Luigi constantly gets lost/trapped looking for stars for you. He is not able to get back, yet somehow he is able to send you
a letter and even attach photos of himself. What incompetence! I guess we know why Mario is the favorite son.

This game is great fun with a great many stages to play, however I don't think I want to collect all 120+ stars. Many stars require you to play levels you've already beaten, but only with one hit point or with a time limit or something else super-lame like that. The controls have you use the Wii Remote to point at the screen to gather "star bits". This definitely feels tacked on and really doesn't add anything to the gameplay, but they had to do it do justify the Wii's existence. You must waggle the remote to attack and to other things of the sort. This becomes second nature fairly quickly, but I still don't like waggling. Real controls are better. This game would be better if played on a real controller and the onscreen cursor nonsense removed. Beat the game with 120 stars and you will unlock a new playable character. Overall the difficulty is there, but it is never really frustrating or hard. Some of the later levels may scrape your anus, but overall this game is beaten with a small amount of persistence. That's fine. Games don't need to be 20+ hours on a single playthrough to have value to me.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/supermariogalaxy6.jpg
The graphics are extremely well drawn and represent some crazy cool worlds. Just look at this picture... doesn't it
scream "I am super fun, play me now!" to you? It does to me. You can have your Tom Clancy, I'll take Mario, thank you.

Wrap up:
Super Mario Galaxy is something that seems very rare these days... it's a real videogame. It's not a first person shooter or a murder simulator or any of the "fancy" new genres we're so used to seeing over the past few years. It's an actual videogame where you play to have fun instead of worrying about some lame unfolding plot which is trying to be a movie or annoying tutorials. I imagine that this might be the best game the Wii will ever have. Videogames are truly awesome.

Seraph
12-05-2007, 06:57 PM
I loved your conclusion. I don't own Galaxy yet, but have played alot of it at my girlfreinds house.

Its just Fun. Plain and simple. When I play Galaxy I dont feel the need to play super critic, I dont feel like picking apart the experince on a forum, its just plain fun and enjoyable.

Alexander
12-05-2007, 07:37 PM
I'm so proud of you, Joe.

Vicviper
12-05-2007, 07:47 PM
Nice review. Honestly I thought you would have gave this game a 7/10. 9/10 is great and I agree with pretty much everything you said. The motion sensing actions are kept to a minimum which I like. Out of all the publishers for the Wii Nintendo seems to realize the most that just because it's there a whole game doesn't need to be overboard with motion sensing controls. There's just enough to make it stand out. The music is good and sound effects fit the game fine. Pro-Logic is nice but 5.1 would have been better.
Personally I will reach 120 stars. Right now I'm at 86. I don't mind playing through the levels again because they are fun. Like you said it's a real videogame. It does a lot to keep me coming back and even playing through previously beaten levels again to find that hidden star. Yeah I don't like every level or even galaxy in the game but most are quite enjoyable.

Vegetto
12-05-2007, 10:54 PM
everyone loves this game, now that I have a wii I have no excuse NOT to play it.

Sinful Sam
12-06-2007, 02:18 AM
Nice review, Joe. Galaxy is a great game. I hope to see the Wii do more stuff like this.

Zachalmighty
12-06-2007, 12:55 PM
Thank you Joe for the SMG review, you are truly a god among homeless people.

Icarus4578
12-13-2007, 07:56 AM
Among homeless people? I don't get it. Instead of the token "Nice review" (stating the obvious), I'll just say I agree with most everything said. The fuzzy look you referred to is basically like those old Rare renders for DKC2 on up ...over a decade later. While it doesn't really have much in terms of 'classic' compositions, the music really enhances an already extremely enjoyable game that much more and can certainly hold up to other current software on any platform.

Have you played Contra 4 yet? It's pretty cool. Also, I heard the soundtrack for The Dracula X Chronicles on PSP, and while it's good it doesn't quite hold up to the original done by Konami Kukeiha Club. The OutRun 20th Anniversary Box is supreme. One thing I noticed is that the arcade and genesis music sounds quite a bit more fuller and clear, which I like.

Joe Redifer
12-21-2007, 03:32 AM
NiGHTS - Into Dreams
5/10
Sega Saturn

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/nights_box.jpg
The game was sold both with and
without the analog controller.

I paid $69.95 at Electronics Boutique the day this game was released. It came with the fancy new analog controller for the world-beloved Sega Saturn video game system. Also in the package was an extremely overhyped game. After all of these years, I still have no clue what this game is about or what the hell is going on. Lots of people talk about it like it was one of the best games for the Saturn, or perhaps even of all time. Sure, the guy who programmed and designed this may be responsible for the legendary Super Thunder Blade on the Sega Genesis, but can he repeat that kind of success here? Unfortunately, he tries.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/nights1.jpg
Fly around in a boring, predetermined path with next to no enemies.

Story: 1/10
I don't think this game has much of a story. At the beginning of a stage you start out as a freakin' child. Literally 1 second later you are molested by a bunch of pixely things and then they drop you. All of this happens for NO REASON WHATSOEVER! Then you walk another 5 or 10 feet and turn into NiGHTS. Suddenly you are able to fly around. I've never had any dreams like this, nor would I want to. You will find yourself hating all of the characters in this game after about 5 minutes.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/nights2.jpg
NiGHTS flies into a building to see if any fun is inside. He finds nothing.

Graphics: 7/10
The polygon graphics are fairly good for the Saturn, and they move at a good frame rate (for the day). They have tons of color and do all sorts of warping effects on purpose unlike the Playstation which warped polygons simply because its hardware was ass. There are even a few transparencies that look nice. But like 94.8% of games that used polygons back in that era, the visuals have not aged well at all. There is also a ton of pop-up/draw in. The game runs in 16:9 and 240p.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/nights3.jpg
The only part of the game which can actually be called "3D" is when you are
walking around as the little dipshit boy or the little bitch girl. The
only thing you can really do in this mode is walk back to the start.

Sound: 9/10
This is really where the game shines, and probably the reason why people think they enjoy playing it. Most of the music is outstanding. There are a couple of lame tunes, but the majority of it is extremely catchy and produced by the Saturn sound chips. There are a few tracks that are played directly off of the CD including a really lame song. The sound effects are pretty good, though there are some normalization issues here and there such as a horrible-sounding "bird chirp" that is far too loud compared to everything else that is going on, as is the train in Frozen Bell. If the clock runs out of time, NiGHTS says something really weird ("Athena"?) before he turns back into the little kid. Overall, the music is the best part of the entire experience.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/nights4.jpg
Sometimes you'll travel "into the screen" such as this underwater scene.
You might as well let go of the controller here. It's nearly useless.

Gameplay: 5/10
The game consists of flying around, collecting blue orbs, taking them to a collection pod and flying through rings. Then you fight a boss. Once you beat the boss, you are sent back to the title screen. That's it! You can try to go for better scores and faster times, but that doesn't add any replayability to an already dull game. And dull it is, as there isn't much to do and you aren't really allowed to explore. The game encourages you to go as fast as possible, so you'd be penalized for exploring even if you could. The game is on rails for 95% of the time, so any exploration is limited to up and down. Your score will increase with the more "links" you get (rings you locate and fly through, etc), but that takes time, so you'll get a low grade no matter what you do just like I did in high school. The boss fights are fairly cool for the most part, though not extraordinarily memorable. You can play with a regular controller or the brand new analog controller, but there isn't much difference in the actual control except your thumb will get fatigued when using the digital pad since you just keep doing loop after loop after loop. The control cannot be described as "good" in either form and the game gets boring after about 10 minutes, maybe 15.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/nights5.jpg
The polygon cleavage and bunny ears on this boss sold over 20,000
copies of the game alone. Hell, that's why I bought it!

Wrap up:
Since the Wii sequel was just released and most feel that it was mediocre at best, I thought I'd take another look at the Saturn original to remind people that NiGHTS is a franchise designed around mediocrity. It certainly is overrated, though it is worth a quick play every 2 or 3 years. I can see why many at Sega did not want to bring NiGHTS back. And why is the name in ALL CAPS except for the letter "i"? Pisses me off. I am a huge Sega fanboy, and this just doesn't cut it.

Vegetto
12-21-2007, 03:15 PM
I really never understood the big deal about this game either, I watched a few clips of it on youtube, and yeah... looks real mediocre

Paper exe
12-21-2007, 03:23 PM
To be honest I kinda felt the same way. Well, it is better than 5 but I can see why Joe give it that score.

eastx
12-22-2007, 08:46 AM
I always loved Nights. I guess the bright, colorful aesthetics, as well as the fast-paced gameplay, just did it for me. Also, I had fun exploring the levels as the kids, even though you're not supposed to. Getting a huge link combo is actually the right way to play - you have to balance it with your time remaining, but it's the path to huge scores.

Being that you are not a guy who cares about scores/points in games, Joe, I'm not surprised that the replaying stages for perfection idea here didn't add longevity for you. Nights was always a bit of an aquired taste - like the clap, but better.

Joe Redifer
01-09-2008, 09:32 PM
Test Drive Unlimited
9/10
Xbox 360

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu_box.jpg
This game is hard to find!

If you don't like racing games, it is unlikely that you're even reading this. Why do I like racing games so much? Well, for one they're not trying to be epic movies like just about every other damn game released these days. Also they're not quite sports games, at least not the racing games I enjoy, and certainly not this one. I really enjoy the non-epic gameplay, and this game is about as "casual" as you can get. It has a free-roaming environment (the island of Oahu in Hawaii) and you can tackle challenges at your leisure. It has well over a thousand miles worth of road and buttloads of challenges. If you are looking for a game with lots to do, here it is.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu1.jpg
You can choose an event by simply driving up to the blue icon and pressing A.

Story: 1/10
Not much here, thankfully. You fly into Honolulu after choosing your character, buy a house and a car. From there it is your mission in life to drive and acquire as many vehicles and homes as possible. It's all about the greed. Greed is good. What else in life do you need besides greed?

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu2.jpg
You can also choose an event by using the map and warping straight to it at any
time. Events don't show up until you've driven by the street they start on or unlock
a new skill level, so you may have to drive to an event using your GPS, but doing so
may unlock even more events on the way that you weren't aware of!

Graphics: 8/10
The game is based on a real location, and while many streets are likely similar to the real thing, it is obvious that not everything is or can be represented (for example, I haven't seen any McDonald's anywhere on the island). Still, it feels like you are in a real location with tons of roads going everywhere. Most of the textures are great, and the time of day changes, though it never becomes nighttime. I can live with that since that is all superficial in this type of game any way. The game runs at a near-constant 30fps and drops an occasional frame here and there. I don't like frame-droppage, but the graphics are good enough and the fact that it really never loads as you are driving around make the sacrifice worth it. There isn't any of the typical Xbox360 v-sync tearing. It's not as smooth as Burnout: Paradise, but it sure looks a lot better (with the exception of the crashes, of course). There are many real cars and bikes in the game, and they are all great representations of the real thing. No car damage, but then again that makes me feel invincible in the free roaming parts and I don't have to worry about something lame like fixing my car. Vehicles that you hit definitely become damaged.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu3.jpg
Me in my Saturn Sky. I didn't know Saturn made decent-looking cars.

Sound: 5/10
Not a whole lot going on here. The game defaults to car engine noise, which is fine by me. There are some music tracks built in, and it can be fun running from the cops while Flight of the Bumblebee plays loudly. You can also play the music tracks you have ripped to the 360 hard drive as well. Most of the cars sound different and the sound changes after you get them tuned up as well. The wrecks sound pretty cool as well. There are only a few voices in the game, mostly the police dispatch and hitchhikers. Dolby Digital surround sound is utilized as things happen behind and around you. Nothing too special here, about what you'd expect.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu4.jpg
Driving down one of the many freeways. Hawaii sure seems beautiful!
Those same trees and the exact leaves on them exist in real life!

Gameplay: 9/10
I tell ya, I just can't stop playing this game! I keep coming back to it again and again despite getting newer games and even a newer game system since I started playing it. There's just so much to do! You make money by completing events, of course, and then use that money to buy more cars and more homes. Each home can only hold so many cars, but there are some homes which have a 10-car garage! There are tons upon tons of cars to collect, and many events are restricted to a certain brand of car or even a certain model! Sounds like a complete pain in the ass, but it's actually fun trying to collect all of that stuff. Typical events include racing against the clock, racing against evil foes, trying to get the highest average speed, transporting illegal goods from point A to point B in a certain amount of time without attracting the cops (or you will have to pay for the goods), transporting hitchhikers and models who are all in a hotshit hurry and more. Speaking of the models, if you pull up in a Ferrari, she may refuse to get in to your car because she doesn't want to be seen in such a clunker. Pull up in a Saturn and the same model is all too happy to get in! Not all models are like that, only some. You get coupons to buy new clothes and crap like that from the models and hitchhikers to use in your character customization room. It's only worth it to get out of the crap clothes you start the game with, but other than that I just do it for fun. All other events reward you with cash (which comes out of your Xbox360 drive).

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu5.jpg
You can eventually buy motorcycles as well, and though they seem weird
at first, they are actually pretty damn fun! The police don't care if you
drive the wrong way or speed... only if you bump into other cars.

The game also features a massively open online mode which I tried out for a few days. You can see other online players driving around at random, and if you flash your lights at them (or they you) you can initiate a race and choose any starting and ending point anywhere on the map if the other person or persons accept. You can also select any online match on the map and it will throw you into a lobby where multiple people race. There are also Diners and whatnot where you can create your own races and wait for people to join, etc. The online action works well, but it's not really for me. I do like seeing everyone drive around, though, and listen to them cuss amongst themselves through my sound system (I refuse to wear the nerd headset). Even offline you'll see random cars with names over them driving around. You can flash your lights and race them as well, but they are not online players. The island is incredibly large and there is tons of exploration to do. Yes, you can even drive to Pearl Harbor. I am at Champion level which is the top, and I still haven't beaten every event yet... only a little over half. I want to beat everything. This game is just too addictive!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu6.jpg
Straight ahead is a "top model" who you can pick up and give a ride to.
You can also give her a ride in your car. LOLOL at my awesome humor!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/tdu7.jpg
Ford Mustang vs random NPC compact car.
Winner = Ford Mustang.

Wrap up:
A truly great game that got overlooked at retail. This game also exists for the PS2 and PSP, but those probably look like ass since their graphics suck compared to the 360. If you don't have a 360 you might as well pick up one of those if you can find it, though everyone will think you are a loser for not having the best version. This game rocks, and I anticipate I'll be playing it for a long time to come!

Alexander
01-09-2008, 10:06 PM
Hm...
I always wanted to play it, but just forgot about it. Maybe I'll track it down.

Sinful Sam
01-09-2008, 11:23 PM
Never heard of it.

Drunken Savior
01-10-2008, 03:08 PM
Nice Galaxy review Joe!

Joe Redifer
01-12-2008, 06:40 PM
I demand that Test Drive Unlimited get more attention, as well as my awesome review of it.

Vicviper
01-12-2008, 07:01 PM
Well I must say that I enjoyed your review more than I enjoyed playing that game. It's cool that they fit the whole Hawaiian Island in the game. I'm just wondering what they could have done if they decided to make a smaller world. It might have been a little too ambitious on the part of the developer.

Joe Redifer
01-12-2008, 08:25 PM
Why would you want it to be smaller? Not all races are 141 miles, only a couple.

Vicviper
01-13-2008, 10:25 AM
I think if it was smaller the developers could add more detail to backgrounds and such. More buildings, more eye candy in general. Being as big as the world is I feel it would take more than the Xbox/PS3 or any system can offer. Especially the PC because the PC sucks. PC's should only be used to keep your accounting straight and to download music and dirty pictures. Let's see if Alucard takes the bait. Anyways as I was saying not only that I think it would take developers 5 times as long to put tons of detail into a large world. This would be fine but developers want to finish a product and get it out to market ASAP.

Paper exe
01-13-2008, 03:15 PM
Well, cool once take their time.

Joe Redifer
01-13-2008, 07:02 PM
I thought the game was pretty detailed. You can actually tell what things are in the distance unlike Burnout Paradise where you can't recognize a repair shop until you're right up on it since everything looks the same.

Joe Redifer
02-05-2008, 01:34 AM
Burnout Paradise
9/10
Playstation 3

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/bparadise_box.jpg
Typical EA box art, emphasizing black on white.

Burnout is a great racing series which emphasizes chaos and damage, two things I approve of. The first two Burnout games were pretty good. Then came Burnout 3: Takedown with it's restructured and rethought gameplay in addition to it's amazing crash mode. It was the best Burnout yet! Then came Burnout Revenge which was a slight improvement on part 3, except they broke the crash mode. Now comes Burnout Paradise where you are in an open city (like the above-reviewed Test Drive Unlimited, though the city is much smaller) and can choose from 120+ events at your leisure. EA brags about no loading ever! But how does this game truly stack up to the other Burnouts?

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/bparadise1.jpg
"Freeburn" is the mode where you just cruise around aimlessly. Lots and lots to discover!

Graphics: 8/10
The graphics are really smooth and run at a constant 60fps without any hiccups or frame droppage at all (reports are that the Xbox 360 version drops a frame once in a blue moon). The car wreck scenes are really awesome, but I noticed that there are no humans at all in Paradise City. None. The cars all drive themselves. That makes me sad as I'd really like to see people flying through the windshield, get decapitated and other fun stuff which we only get to see in real life. I'd also like to be able to run over homeless people on the sidewalk. The game's native resolution is 720p and cruising around looks noticeably better than Burnout Revenge running in 480p on an original Xbox. Lots of repetitive tiles are used in places for texture. It can also be very difficult to see anything in the distance, especially turns.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/bparadise2.jpg
You are forced to watch every single wreck in super slow motion which can seem like an eternity.

Sound: 8/10
A step forward AND backwards for the Burnout series! First of all, we can now play the game in DTS (on the PS3, but not on the 360) which compresses sound less than Dolby Digital. Unfortunately this game has absolutely no discrete subwoofer at all (UPDATE: Subwoofer has been added to the game). Burnout 3 and Revenge had discrete subwoofer and it really made racing, boosting and especially crashing sound amazingly powerful. In other words, there is no ".1" in the 5.1 sound here. Again we are blessed with the world famous "EA TRAX" here, and as always most of the songs they select for us are incredibly bad. Bands like Jane's Addiction, Guns N Roses, Alice in Chains, Seether, Maxeen, N.E.R.D., Jimmy Eat World, etc round out this stale roster. There are two songs from the old 3DO Road Rash, though. A few select tracks from older Burnout games are also provided. Unfortunately the PS3 version does not support custom soundtracks which is a HUGE sin in a game like this. Also I really hope DJ Atomica dies, as there is no way to turn him completely off. He's always there with a smarmy comment about how he only salutes the best and you're not worth it or some lame shit like that. I bet he'd like to be punched in the face with my fist.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/bparadise3.jpg
Catch some awesome air by jumping off of the tops of buildings. Your suspension will survive.

Gameplay: 9/10
This game is, like, soooo totally fun to the max. It offers some relaxing fun in "Freeburn" mode, just cruising around town and finding gates and billboards to smash, jumps to perform, etc, all at no consequence. To start an event, you pull up to an intersection and press both gas and brake simultaneously (that is if you have at least one finger on each hand). Each intersection offers a different event such as Race (self explanatory), Stunt Mode (do tricks to meet the point quota), Marked Man (make it from point A to point B without totaling your car as other cars try to make you sad), Road Rage (take out as many opponents as you can and make them sad) and Burning Route (make it from point A to point B before time runs out, but only in a specific vehicle). There is also a gimpy "Showtime" mode which attempts to replace the old Crash mode. You can do it at any time just by pressing L1 and R1 simultaneously. Your goal is to cause as much damage as possible, but the only reason to ever do this is to beat your old high score on a particular road. Not particularly fun, especially since you bounce around for 90 minutes like a rubber ball in slow motion, so it doesn't even look as cool as the old crash mode (which could almost qualify as a puzzle game).

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/bparadise4.jpg
Here's "Showtime" for ya. You can probably go around the entire city on one Showtime event.
It can last minutes upon minutes, maybe even hours if you can keep your boost up. Ug.

There are a few problems with Burnout Paradise. In order to say "OMG no loading!1! looook!!", EA has intentionally sacrificed gameplay. If you lose a race, you cannot select an option to retry it (UPDATE: Burnout Paradise now allows you to restart any event. Simple press RIGHT on the d-pad and select "Restart Event". This completely remedies this old complaint). Instead you must drive all the way back to the beginning where the race starts which takes about 20-160 times longer than any loading screen ever would. If you fail a Burning Route by 2 seconds, you want to retry it right away when the route is fresh in your mind, not worry about driving all the way back to the beginning. Another thing which I don't particularly care for is being forced to find my own route during races. Looking at the map and/or compass takes my eyes off the race and causes me to crash. The map is far away from the main action, and unless you have a small screen you must look away from what you are doing in order to study it. Also you cannot warp anywhere on the map, even if you've been where you want to go a million times. You must drive EVERYWHERE! You can't even warp to your junk yards to switch your car. If you pull up to a Burning Route, it is likely that you have the wrong car. It does not offer to let you switch your car right there on the spot like Test Drive Unlimited does. All races should offer this as it becomes a major pain to drive to a junk yard just to get a car for one event that you want to complete. Online mode is fun with friends (and free on the PS3), but there isn't a split screen mode and apparently lots of people are complaining about that over on EA's forums. Oh, and there IS some loading when you start an event, but EA tries to disguise it.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/bparadise5.jpg
The Road Rage events are pretty easy and really fun if you're on a narrow road.

Wrap up:
Not as good as the previous 2 real Burnouts (the PSP version doesn't count), but still a good game and definitely recommended. The open world concept is done much better in Test Drive Unlimited, and I wish the developers had taken a look at that game for ideas before releasing this. Still, driving around wherever I choose whenever I choose is great fun and adds to the game. Now if only they'd release a patch that enabled custom soundtracks.

UPDATE: EA and Criterion also offer a plethora of free content via download. This upgrades the game in many ways by adding nightime modes, motorcycles, new modes of gamepla, etc. They also offer a few pay-to-download upgrades like the Big Surf Island which adds more area to the map to drive in as well as new events to complete. Burnout Paradise also seems to have the most trophies available for any PS3 game ever, with nearly 100 to earn, if not more.

Seraph
02-05-2008, 02:17 AM
If you lose a race, you cannot select an option to retry it. Instead you must drive all the way back to the beginning where the race starts which takes about 20-160 times longer than any loading screen ever would.That sounds really really stupid. Like sledding in real life: when you reach the bottom you gotta dread all the way back up the hill to have fun agian.

Burnout Revenge was an awesome game though, I need to go buy that.

Alexander
02-05-2008, 11:50 AM
I played this game and it's very, very confusing. Having to look at the map, the roadsigns and the road itself is really difficult until you get the hang of it. Also the radio DJ is annoying to the maxx.

Burnout 3 is my favorite Burnout and I wish they'd return to their roots. Revenge was dumb because you could hit traffic from behind.

Zachalmighty
02-05-2008, 12:45 PM
Reveiw Digital Devil Saga plz. :love:

Kiryu1985
02-05-2008, 02:24 PM
Joe should review Rambo 3 for the genesis to promote the new rambo movie

Joe Redifer
02-05-2008, 02:44 PM
What a coincidence! I just finished watching all of the Rambo movies and playing Rambo 3 on both the SMS and Genesis! Hmmm...

Vegetto
02-05-2008, 03:52 PM
well then you have no excuse not to!

Joe Redifer
02-07-2008, 11:49 PM
Rambo III
6/10
Sega Genesis

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/Rambo3_box.jpg
Poor Rambo. So misunderstood.

Rambo III is based on the recent hit movie called Rambo III. Recent at the time of this game's release, anyway. Or at least kind of recent. Actually not really. This game came out about a year later and was preceded by an Operation Wolf-esque Master System version. This version controls similar to Ikari Warriors or the overhead levels of Super Contra 4 (without the rotation). This game, though, has Blast Processing™ which makes it stand out above all other games ever made.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/Rambo3_01.png
Oh noes! Colonel Trautman is captures!

Story: 6/10
Watch the movie! After that go see Rambo, now playing at a movie theater near you! This game doesn't really follow the movie too well, it only bears a resemblance to it. Rambo does not cry in this movie nor in this game. That's why the original First Blood is the best. Also the original First Blood stole a death scream from the arcade Golden Axe, so that makes it rule even more! David Caruso PWNZ.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/Rambo3_02.png
Even Rambo isn't tough enough for this crazy mission.
He needs YOU to help him succeed!

Graphics: 5/10
Not bad for their time, but you must remember that this is a very early Genesis game and it only has 2 MEGA POWER. All of the stages are overhead and the bonus rounds are from Rambo's sexy muscular back. The sheer power of the Genesis is used in these scenes to provide multiple layers of scrolling as you move back and forth. Genesis Does! You can't do this on Nintendo!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/Rambo3_03.png
Not even an intense Soviet helicopter can defeat the likes of Rambo!

Sound: 5/10
Not too much going on in the sound department, but I did like the sound that is used in the "dungeon" music where your goal is to rescue some asshole and then GTFO. Sounds cinematic and way better than a NES game. An oddly happy tune starts playing when you're running for the exit, and it is just absurd. There is a simple "Ooof!" whenever Rambo dies, but unfortunately it is just some Japanese guy and not Sylvester Stallone. Why he did not record his own "Ooof!" for this game is beyond me. Maybe he was taking a shit that day.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/Rambo3_04.png
When you're pushed, killin's just as easy as breathin'.

Gameplay: 6/10
Well, you run around and shoot things as well as murder lots and lots of people who could have otherwise gone on and lead productive lives and contributed to human society in a positive way. But nope. You murder them before they even get that chance. Rambo knows no mercy. I like that. In your arsenal are your standard rapid fire machine gun with unlimited ammo, time bombs which quickly count down from 5 to 0, a knife for close encounters and arrows which charge as you hold the button down. You use these arrows in the bonus rounds to shoot down tanks and helicopters as well. There are a couple of large mazes you must run through to rescue people. Must suck to be an employee there, trying to find the timeclock. You can't ride in any vehicles or play a weird sports game with a dead animal and that really hurts this game. Running around is responsive and all that, but it is easy to die and the game is fairly short.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/Rambo3_05.png
It takes a tank to defeat an HGH-powered Rambo!

Wrap up:
Not quite as good as the movie, and definitely shorter. Maybe Sega will release a new Genesis cartridge with 64 MEGA POWER for the new movie simply called "Rambo".

Vegetto
02-08-2008, 12:20 AM
I've never seen a rambo movie up until the new one...

I wanna see the previous three now

commence bashing me

Icarus4578
02-08-2008, 03:01 AM
Rambo on the SMS was pretty cool for its time; Rambo III is a bit better. Also, Rambo V is coming, supposedly. From the IMDB,

Rambo (2008) .... John Rambo
... aka John Rambo (Germany) (USA: working title)

http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000230/
Go figure.

Joe Redifer
02-08-2008, 03:21 AM
Rambo First Blood Part 2 on the SMS is a lot more enjoyable than SMS Rambo III which was just a much-improved version of Operation Wolf.

Stallone says there is no reason that Rambo (really Rambo 4) should be his last adventure.

Mistatee
02-08-2008, 12:52 PM
BTW, you got the epic Sega slogan wrong in your review:

Genesis Does what NintenDONT!

Joe Redifer
02-08-2008, 03:07 PM
Not if you've heard the entire song!

Vicviper
02-08-2008, 05:57 PM
I think I liked the game better then the movie. The movie had a dumb ass kid who got shot or something but didn't die. Then John Rambo had to bare him around like a crutch to save his ass. I didn't like that. He should have told the kid that he deserved to die for not listening when Rambo told him to stay back.

Joe Redifer
02-08-2008, 06:33 PM
Yeah... introducing a kid into a movie, especially an action movie, is a hugely bad idea. It is my least favorite Rambo movie. The only thing that could have made it worse is if he was called "Short Round" or some such nonsense.

Icarus4578
02-09-2008, 02:14 PM
Stallone is going on, what, 64 years old or something? Amazing how fit he is.

Joe Redifer
02-09-2008, 04:11 PM
He's 61 right now.

Vegetto
02-09-2008, 04:37 PM
man 61?? geez he looks good

Sinful Sam
02-09-2008, 08:45 PM
Didn't he had to take some type of hormone or type of steroid to help him out?

Joe Redifer
02-09-2008, 08:52 PM
HGH, or human growth hormone. He recommends it if you're over 40.

Vicviper
02-09-2008, 10:04 PM
yeah but the side effects.

Zachalmighty
02-09-2008, 10:08 PM
yeah but the side effects.

HGM doesnt have any side effects that I know of. My little brother takes it because he is a wee man.

Paper exe
02-10-2008, 07:55 AM
That's so dangerous and uncalled for. If you really like your little brother you should tell his mummy about it then you all spinkick him and humiliate him for this.

Zachalmighty
02-10-2008, 10:27 AM
That's so dangerous and uncalled for. If you really like your little brother you should tell his mummy about it then you all spinkick him and humiliate him for this.

I already humiliate him for being short.

Vicviper
02-10-2008, 10:43 AM
Well yes there are no side effects that you know of. What about the ones you don't know of? Sadly a lot of the effects might not show up for a while. But I'm not a Doctor so I can't judge.

Seraph
02-28-2008, 07:35 PM
Joe do you happen to have Lords of Thunder for TG-16CD or Sega CD?

I'm thinking about getting it for Wii and wanted to know how it stacked up against other shootem ups.

Joe Redifer
02-28-2008, 07:40 PM
Yup. It is awesome. The TurboGrafx is the slightly better version.

Click here (http://www.sega-16.com/feature_page.php?id=3&title=Side%20by%20Side:%20Lords%20of%20Thunder%20( Genesis%20vs.%20TG-16%20CD)) to read my comparison of the two versions.

Seraph
02-28-2008, 07:47 PM
Man awesome, that comparison you did is really well put together. I think I'll get it tonight.

Joe Redifer
03-02-2008, 04:12 AM
Web Browsers for Video Game Consoles
0/0
Various Systems

As we all know, it is simply not worth surfing the internet unless you are doing it from a videogame console. Computers like Macs and PCs just aren't robust enough for the internet whereas consoles excel. So I figured I'd do something a little different this time around and compare the web browsers for the various consoles that have them legitimately. By that I mean provided officially, not hackware or anything lame like that. To the best of my knowledge, the only consoles which have web browsers are the Sega Saturn, Sega Dreamcast, Nintendo Wii and the Sony Playstation 3. Devices like the CD-i, WebTV and crap like that do NOT count! Now let's compare how they all do!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DC2.jpg
The Japanese Dreamcast Broadband Passport allows more options
when you hit the L or R button, or S1 and S2 on the keyboard.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/netlink2.jpg
The old Gamefan website viewed on the Sega Saturn Netlink.

General Info and Features
Just some of the basic features, cookies, bookmarks, speed and crap like that.

Sega Saturn:
The Saturn browser comes with the Netlink modem and can only be used via dial-up. If you didn't already have your own ISP, you could sign up with Concentric. I think they went out of business or have merged with someone else since this came out. The Saturn browser is called Planet Web and you can use a keyboard and mouse or a standard controller. Cookies are not allowed, but bookmarks and e-mail addresses can be saved to the Saturn internal back-up RAM. Obviously the Saturn Netlink is the slowest of all browsers.

Sega Dreamcast:
There are many different browsers for the Dreamcast. The ones released in the US are all Planet Web. They are upgrades to the Saturn Netlink version. They also can be used with a mouse and keyboard, and the Dreamcast keyboard is excellent. Sites tend to load very slowly and a broadband version of the browser was only released in Europe. Even that version is pretty slow. In Japan they had the the Broadband Passport. This is an excellent browser, all things considered, and is much faster than Planet Web and allows sites to store cookies on the VMU. E-mail is also supported on all browsers.

Nintendo Wii:
The Wii uses the much-hated Opera browser. However the browser is actually decent here, and isn't tremendously similar to the computer version. Broadband is obviously supported and dial-up is not. Good! Using a keyboard is absolutely out of the question. Nintendo wants you to put in all text and URLs via the painful Wii Remote method. It is the only browser which does not allow keyboard control. I assume the browser allows sites to place cookies, and loading speed is fairly quick. It's not a bad browser, but even simple tasks like scrolling up and down a page are made a pain in the ass simply because of the Wii Remote method of control. This browser is also costs money. I have no idea why, as it is worth none. It used to be free, but then Nintendo decided that they hate you. Fortunately I was able to get it while it was free.

Sony Playstation 3:
The PS3 browser works well, but there are many options that you might want to check out to make sure it is performing and displaying the best it can for your setup. It defaults to a small 4:3 box, and that's pretty lame. Any USB keyboard is supported. Obviously it can save bookmarks and cookies because the PS3 is totally next-gen and is built for futuristic technologies like that. It is even faster than the Wii browser, but the PS3 is so much more way powerful than the Wii that this shouldn't be surprising. The Cell processor speeds up the internet and gives you full power in a 3D netherworld! Only the PS3 can satisfy. However, I'm not biased.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ps32.jpg
The PS3 can have multiple windows open at the same time.
If you press (I think) L3 (left analog stick) the windows
will shrink so you can see them all and pick one, just like
Mac OS X does it, only not quite as cool.

Page Accuracy
How well does each browser represent the website on the TV screen? Does it mangle it completely? Does it look as it should?

Sega Saturn:
It was pretty close for it's time, especially since the normal computer resolution back then was 640x480, and the Saturn web browser actually runs at the same resolution. Todays web pages are highly unlikely to even load into anything tangible at all.

Sega Dreamcast:
It's pretty far off from what the pages should look like, especially since most web sites are much larger than the 640x480 limits of this browser. Fonts are often too big as well... in fact they seem to be always the same size.

Nintendo Wii:
Pretty close. You can have it display in a widescreen mode if you like which helps sites have a little bit of breathing room.

Sony Playstation 3:
You have to go into the options to tell it to fill your entire screen, but most sites look exactly as they should. Unfortunately if you are surfing on a 1920x1080 TV, some of the text may seem a bit too small and the sites themselves may be too small to fill the screen. The PS3 browser has a cool anti-flickering filter for 480i and 1080i TVs.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/wii1.jpg
My Chrono Trigger review being displayed on the Wii. Yay.

the-magicbox.com
Can the browser read and post on the forums here on this fine site?

Sega Saturn:
Uh, no. Probably not. I think it would probably die trying.

Sega Dreamcast:
The Planet Web browsers can read the forums, but they will look ugly. Every time I try to post on the forum or even log in, the browser usually crashes. However the Japanese Broadband Passport (which is mostly in English anyway) indeed lets you read and post on the forums. I have done so before and everyone was amazed and sent me free cash for being so awesome.

Nintendo Wii:
Yup, the forums look pretty good and posting is easy... if you can deal with the shit-tastic Wii Remote. Since Nintendo hates you and your entire family and wants to see them in pain, keyboards aren't supported and therefore your posts will likely be very short. So much hate within Nintendo and their products.

Sony Playstation 3:
Oh hells yeah! The Sony Playstation 3 was built for the Magicbox. You can use a keyboard and post stuff like crazy! It is super way-powerful and invincible. Totally incredible!!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/netlink1.jpg
Typing an e-mail with the control pad on the Saturn Netlink.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DC3.jpg
The Magicbox Forums main page displayed on the Dreamcast Broadband Passport.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/wii2.jpg
The Wii playing an awesome Youtube video.

Youtube?
Can the browser play videos hosted on the popular web site called "Youtube"?

Sega Saturn:
Not a chance.

Sega Dreamcast:
Nope. Broadband Passport complains about plug-ins or something like that.

Nintendo Wii:
Yep! Does it fairly decently as well.

Sony Playstation 3:
Indeedy-do! Upscales Youtube videos to HDTV resolutions... but of course they still look like Youtube videos. Upscaling does not add detail. Duh.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ps33.jpg
The Playstation 3 displaying it's powerful graphic hardware by playing back a video from Youtube. Amazing!

Porn Ability
The internet is completely useless without porn. So how do these browsers stack up in your endless search for digital poontang?

Sega Saturn:
The Saturn is easily able to find and display much porn, however when you are ogling the porn on your screen, the colors flicker back and forth like some sort of Amiga HAM (Hold and Modify) mode. It makes the porn a little less thrilling and a bit annoying, but only a little. The Saturn enjoys displaying porn with it's graphics chipset, and it tries it's hardest. It would rather display porn than, say, Sonic the Hedgehog. That's why a true Sonic game never appeared on the system.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/netlink3.jpg
Porn on the Saturn Netlink, censored for your protection.

Sega Dreamcast:
All of the Dreamcast browsers are able to display porn, and the DC loves doing it. You can hook it up with a VGA cable and get glorious VGA porn so you can see that extra little bit of detail in the nooks and crannies. If you have the proper equipment you can even view the porn in 480p on your HDTV. Fantastic!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/DC5.jpg
The Dreamcast's window is a little too small for most porn.

Nintendo Wii:
You'd think that Nintendo would block porn sites from being accessed on their console, but surprisingly they don't! The Wii will display all the porn you can find, and it will load it super-fast as well. I am thinking that maybe Nintendo designed the Wii to be a porn system. The Wii does porn very, very well. 16:9 and 480p support make sure your Wii porn looks pretty damn good.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/wii3.jpg
Since the Wii's resolution isn't any higher than the Dreamcast's, porn can be compromised.

Sony Playstation 3:
Wow! Sony sure knows porn! The PS3 browser displays porn in incredible HDTV resolutions so you can even see her kidneys when you "look inside"! Since the resolution is so high, some pics may seem too small. You can click the R3 button (the right analog stick) to resize the image in most cases. The images draw really fast and you can even save them to the PS3 hard drive to e-mail to friends or use as your PS3 wallpaper! They should call the system the Pornstation 3.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ps34.jpg
Porn in HD! You might have to look long and hard to find something that will fill the high-res screen.



Overall Assessments
Ya know, surfing the web on a game console really sucks!

Seraph
03-02-2008, 04:58 AM
I never thought I'd see a review like this. It made me laugh.

I remember the good old days of using my Web 2.0 Disc that came with my used Dreamcast. All so I could lay in bed and surf the internet.

I wonder just how brain dead Nintendo is for charging for their browser now. I'd like to see the actual sales numbers for that hot item. To me it would be more worthwhile shipping the console with it pre-installed rather than hoping somebody will accedently click buy in the Wii Shop. Youtube is the Wii browsers one legitement use, and is actually pretty nice.

Wii's Browser does support keyboards now by the way. They added it October 10th last year.

eastx
03-02-2008, 05:21 AM
Wow, very interesting comparisons there, Joe. I need to take some time and figure out the PS3's web browser interface so's I can view those fantastic porn images.

Back in the Saturn days when computers were still hellaciously expensive, I used the Planet Web browser as my primary browser. Also organized a game convention, co-wrote some press releases with Planet Web, and I can be seen IRC chatting on the back of the 3.0 Browser/Virtual On/Sega Rally box. I have to tell everyone that at any and all opportunities.

BTW, the Planet Web browsers for Saturn and DC support IRC (in a janky fashion), which the Wii and PS3 browsers probably don't.

Joe Redifer
03-02-2008, 05:43 AM
Wii's Browser does support keyboards now by the way. They added it October 10th last year.

It must be very limited support (likely for a limited amount of models), because I tried it and all I could get to happen is the CAPS LOCK light to come on and off when I pressed the button. Typing in any field would not work.

Vicviper
03-02-2008, 10:14 AM
I've only ever used Planet Web on the DC. Looking back I wonder why I ever tried as it was pretty painful to use. 60% of that pain was because of my crappy dialup connection at the time. Constantly falling off and needing 2-5 minutes to log back in. ugh.

Mistatee
03-02-2008, 12:53 PM
Time to store porn on my Ps3. Not only would it look awesomer, but nobody would find it there. Grills is definitely the last place anybody would look.

Seraph
03-02-2008, 01:55 PM
It must be very limited support (likely for a limited amount of models), because I tried it and all I could get to happen is the CAPS LOCK light to come on and off when I pressed the button. Typing in any field would not work.See if that same keyboard will work with Wii message board. Test it out by adding me as a Wii friend and try to send me a message.

If it works in the Wii message board, you might still have to manually download the update to the internet channel. Better do it quick before Nintendo charges $10 to update!!

Vegetto
03-02-2008, 03:04 PM
I thought it only supported a certain brand, I forget which.

Seraph
03-02-2008, 03:07 PM
That might be. Mines worked with my Saitek, an old Gateway model and a Microsoft keyboard.

If the resolution didnt suck balls, I would invest in a wireless keyboard/mouse setup. It would be alot more comfortable browsing the forums from my couch.

Zachalmighty
03-02-2008, 03:27 PM
mmm I be watching porn while holding my WIIIII

Joe Redifer
03-19-2008, 03:38 AM
Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
8/10
Nintendo DS

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/apollojustice_box.jpg
This is what the box looks like.

How do I write a review for a game that I've basically reviewed three times already? Well let me start off by saying that the Ace Attorney games are like books, except they aren't boring. You wouldn't say that all books are the same just because they're all books, would you? Well, maybe I would. But in other words, it's about the characters and the story in the Ace Attorney games even if the gameplay is similar. This installment sets up a new cast of characters and is also the first one programmed specifically for the DS (the others were GameBoy Advance ports), so let's check this shiz out, yo! Word.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/apollojustice1.jpg
Here is Apollo Justice. He wears a vest. Who wears a vest anymore?

Story: 8/10
There are four cases in this game taking place 7 years or so after the final Phoenix Wright chapter, and most of them have something to do with the overall "big picture" which you wrap up at the end. I like that. The writing is pretty good for the most part, though sometimes I will present evidence in court that proves one thing or another, everyone agrees and then the judge and prosecutor start talking about the same thing again as if I never proved it in the first place. Bizarre. The character of Apollo Justice himself is pretty much exactly like Phoenix Wright was. Phoenix makes a return in this game as well -- he plays the part called "asshole". Guns are used in this game since guns are so cool, but this game obviously doesn't take place in the US since guns are illegal in the game and there is no jury in the courts (yet). One giant plus about this game is that there are fewer "annoying" characters compared to past games.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/apollojustice2.jpg
Your female companion Trucy is a near-exact clone of Maya from the past
games. The only things different about her are her looks and her vocation.

Graphics: 8/10
The graphics kind of seem the same at first, but in fact they have been improved in many areas. There are more shades and hues onscreen simultaneously now as well as more animation. The difference in graphics is really made apparent when you eventually see some retro scenes which use the graphics backgrounds from the older games. There are also polygons, and as we all know the DS can only do UGLY polygons, but they do their job and you don't have to look at them often. There are also some very primitive FMV scenes here and there. Unfortunately you cannot unlock cool artwork by completing cases in this game like you could in previous ones.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/apollojustice3.jpg
Finally, a game with REAL English in it!

Sound: 8/10
This one sounds similar to the others, but some of the new tunes sound fuller to take more advantage of the DS sound chip. New prosecutor Kalvier has a rockin' tune complete with Capcom's trademark fake guitars. Another Japanese-esque tune which plays in front of the mob house has parts that remind me of Wonder Boy 3/Dragon's Curse (that's a good thing, by the way). At one point I thought I had gained a device which would let me uncover a sound test once the game was complete. Alas, no such luck. I want a sound test!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/apollojustice4.jpg
This is what the Perceive Mode looks like, my friend. You look around on
the bottom screen for any peculiar twitches when certain words are said.

Gameplay: 8/10
Extremely similar to all of the Phoenix Wright games, but remember the final case from the first game? It had 3D stuff and things to do with the touch screen like fingerprinting. All of this returns, with plenty of new stuff to do with the touch screen. It really does enhance the gameplay. New to this game is the "Perceive" mode, where you focus in on witnesses as they speak and look for fidgeting to see if they are lying their asses off. This is pretty fun and it is less frustrating than the Psyche Locks from the past two games since it doesn't penalize you for errors. However, you'll be in Psyche Lock hell in the final chapter, unfortunately. You'll also travel back and forth through time, taking evidence with you each way (and you can show evidence you find in the future to people in the past). Is that a spoiler? Not really. Weird, but still cool.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/apollojustice5.jpg
Finally, a game that makes use of the Zapf Dingbats (or similar) font!

Wrap up:
I really don't know why they decided that they needed a new lead character as I feel it was completely unnecessary, but the game doesn't suffer as a result. If you liked the previous games, you'll like this one.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/apollojustice6.jpg

Vicviper
03-19-2008, 08:45 AM
"secret of your panties" awesome.

Seraph
03-19-2008, 10:28 AM
Good review. I really love this game, so much that I blew through the entire thing in only a few days after its release. Definitely one of the best in the series. I'm hooked and the only bad part about this one was that its over and I gotta wait for a AA5 (hopefully, please capcom!)
I really don't know why they decided that they needed a new lead character as I feel it was completely unnecessaryI disagree. Had this game been another Phoenix/Maya escapade I think it would have started to feel stale. The way they made Phoenix a bum had me so curious I had to buy this game day one to find out.

Kiryu1985
03-20-2008, 03:45 PM
I played Shenmue 2 the other day, after playing for about 2 hours, I started doing the 4 Wude quest.

First I went to the insane barber, skipped to the shaolin masters school, found the drunk-tard, broke his stones,
went to the park to find the taichi master, fought a tree, and lastly saved the crazy lady from being gang mugged.

Now its time to go back to Man mo temple, but its closed, so with nothing else to do, I decided to go GTA style
and see the very "exiting shenmue world".

I find that there is alot of detail in this world, but not everything is interactive
there are no hidden packages or easter eggs, you follow a girl in a skirt around
but all ryo wants to talk about is Man mo temples, and gambling.

My first activity was to talk to a little kid, asked him where Man mo temple is,
he was so kind, told me to follow him, but I refused and ditched him.

Went inside a random building, it was a pawn shop, I had already pawned all my
VF toys just to pay that guy in room 205 in yan tim apartments,
so I start a conversation, its again about the Man Mo Temple, he gave me directions, and I left.

Went to a restaurant, asked if I can have a job working there, they said find a lucky hit stand instead,
started another conversation, again its about Man Mo Temple, by now its getting
tiresome, its like nobody has anything good to talk about.

So with a few hours left before I collapse and automatically get sent to the inn, I decide to start working as a lucky hit assistant.

Boss gives me 300 yuan, and for like what seems an eternity
I yelled and yelled, until finally an old man comes up and starts playing this pachinko type game,
after 3 rounds I lost, he won.

300-50 = 250, still plenty of money left, but its getting boring, I hate this job,
I try to quit, I press start, but that proves to be futile as it only displays how to play the game.

There is nobody else there, its getting dark, the streets are empty, my constant yelling gets me nowhere, I panic, its been like 5 minutes why can't I quit?!?

I decide this is enough, and power off my dreamcast.

I like this game, it has some kind of charm, but its so... flawed, sigh ...:batman:

Joe Redifer
03-20-2008, 03:52 PM
It's not a sandbox game like GTA, it is a linear RPG. Not sure why you can't get to your destination. You're definitely missing something somewhere.

guy_jin
03-20-2008, 10:46 PM
hey.

Just got done reading all your reviews. took me days, and they're all awesome.

also, I would have been all over that 5 dollar thing. shame on me :crying:

Joe Redifer
03-21-2008, 02:38 AM
I wish I could remember what the $5 thing was about. I vaguely remember. I am too lazy to look. Effort is overrated.

Havoc2049
03-23-2008, 12:55 PM
Great review of the various console web browsers. Funny stuff and the porn section was classic.:lol: Being a late 80's/early 90's computer user, the Amiga HAM reference was awesome.:lol:

I don't know why, but I'm one of the losers who bought the Nintendo DS web browser. For some reason, I thought it would be cool. Man, does that thing suck.

Nintendo DS web browser: 1/10

Joe Redifer
04-13-2008, 10:28 PM
Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds
7/10
Playstation 3

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/hotshots5_box.jpg
Horrible box art makes the game look less fun.

I have always been a huge fan of Hot Shots Golf. Always, even though the only other Hot Shots Golf game I've played was part 3 on the PS2. It served up weird characters and fairly easy gameplay. The graphics weren't too shabby for their time, either. They've since gone on to make Hot Shots games for the PS2 (again) and for the PSP. Now they bring it to the PS3 as Hot Shots Golf: Out of Bounds (even though it is technically Hot Shots Golf 5) and I'm here to tell you about it, so bow to my will.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/hotshots51.jpg
Animals wander the Safari course. Sometimes you can even hit them with the ball
and they will run away. It'd be great if a zebra came up and crapped on the ball.

Graphics: 8/10
Presented in 720p like most other games of this generation, Hot Shots 5 delivers for the most part. Courses look really nice and contain lots of extra little details. They won't slice your eyeballs up with razor sharpness or insane animation, but it does what it needs to do. I popped in Hot Shots 3 on the PS2 midway through playing this, and to my surprise the PS2 version didn't really look much worse. Sure, it only run in 4:3 480i and there was lots of shimmering when things moved, but the overall models and courses didn't go through leaps and bounds of improvement here. Then there is the problem with the PS3 shadows. See the pic below for a more thorough description.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/hotshots54.jpg
Look at that crappy shadow. Just look at it! This happens a lot in PS3 games.
The PS3 is extremely weak when handling shadows.

Sound: 3/5
The music is by Kenny G's less talented brother, how good can it be? In fact it sounds like Kenny's bro on a very bad day, as if he mellowed out even more and strived for the ultimate in repetition. The music is dreadful, and only the mountain course which takes nearly an eternity to unlock is worth listening to... and even it gets a bit tiresome around the second or third time you play the course. Fortunately the music can be shut off. Then there is the crowd, horribly acted and always saying the same exact thing again and again with the worst possible fake accents you can imagine. You can turn the crowd off, but the option screen calls them "The Gallery" for some unknown reason. WTF? Because of this, you may not know that they can be turned off. Let's not forget about the caddies... all of them are annoying and keep babbling when you are trying to concentrate when setting up for a difficult putt. They cannot be shut off, unfortunately. The ambient sounds are OK but nothing special. This game is best played with your stereo turned off or perhaps set to another source, as the sound in this game is bad. Custom soundtracks are not supported.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/hotshots53.jpg
I find the greens pretty hard to read, with a bunch of dots moving all over the place at
different speeds. I'm not sure what the little musical symbols by the character's head means.

Gameplay: 7/10
The game plays like the other Hot Shots games, which is good. It can be kind of addictive at times and you keep wanting to play "just one more". But they just had to try and add something new in the form of the "Advanced Shot" technique. Unfortunately they decided that this technique would suck ass, and they succeeded in making sure that it does in a big way. Basically you're still pressing the button three times to take your shot just as you do the traditional way, but instead you watch your golfer's backswing and press when you think it is time, and then press again as the club hits the ball. This is very hard to judge power on and thus it is really hard to get good shots with unless you are lucky. Fortunately the traditional shot is also available and from what I've seen online, most people still use the traditional method. Developer Clap Hanz definitely wants you to use the Advance Shot technique as they give it more power and cripple the traditional method with less powerful shots. Gay. Having lots of control over your shots is important because except for the first two courses, each course seems to have the wind set on "high" at all times. When it's not set on "high", it's set on "extreme". Oh, and it always blows towards the water. You have a wide selection of characters here once you unlock them, but you are penalized if you want to use another character due to the whole "Loyalty" concept. The more you use a character, the more powerful they become, making it undesirable to ever try anyone else since it takes forever and a day to build up loyalty. It also makes it less fun to play multiplayer at a friend's house since you can't use your character since their version won't be as powered up as the one on your PS3. Each character can choose their clubs, balls and costumes... all of which have to be earned.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/hotshots52.jpg
I am the chip-in king! Chip-ins are easier than putts in this game.
And yes, this shot went in.

This game features online play, and it's kind of noteworthy. You gather in a large room full of other online players all wandering around with their own Miis. You can chat with a keyboard, but it restricts you to like 12 characters total, so it takes a week just to type out a full sentence. Voice chat is not supported. From here you can choose or create a game to play with up to 8 players. On the course everyone plays at the same time, no turns are taken. That makes the rounds go much faster, thankfully. It is kind of funny to wait a few seconds before teeing just to see 7 other balls flying into the distance all at once. It can also be funny on the green as multiple balls all approach the hole. Players can't interfere with one another, like bouncing their ball off of another player's, for instance. You'll likely be stuck to the earlier courses as they can't be played unless everyone has played them in single player mode, and they can take forever to unlock. The game gets ridiculously hard in the later courses, doing crazy things like penalizing you two strokes for touching the rough, etc. Once I hit the ball right outside of the green, which was the rough, so I got +2. But the green was like 9 feet higher than where my ball was. There was no way to hit it to the green, it just kept rolling back down again and again as I couldn't get the ball high enough in such a short amount of distance. +2 +2 +2 +2 +2 all on top of my already dreadful score as a result. Oh how wonderful! I had to give up, there was literally no other way.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/hotshots55.jpg
The course designs can kind of suck. Who puts a freakin' town in the middle of a golf course?
I bet the town's name is O.B. City. You'll find many examples similar to this on just about every course.

Wrap up:
If you enjoy playing golf during hurricanes with extreme obstacles blocking your path along with lakes that can't be missed, then this is the game for you. Still, it does have a certain quality to it that just begs to be played.

Vicviper
04-13-2008, 11:32 PM
The golf engine is really well done. The courses are built well and are challenging but not to difficult to make me want to turn my PS3 off or throw the controller against the wall. Once advanced players are unlocked then buildings and such on the course really don't come into play to much as the advanced players have high enough stats that these buildings aren't really a hindrance.
The wind in the game is outrageous and they love to pour it on. I still haven't figured out the side spin. Once I figure this out it will help combat the wind.
The characters voices are completely annoying and I also turn off the gallery. Caddies are annoying and should have come with the option of being turned off.
Online is fun and I enjoy the speed of the game online.
Overall it is a great game and is addictive. I find myself playing past tournaments trying to unlock new clubs and balls.

eastx
04-14-2008, 01:44 AM
I've always wanted to get into this series as I loved Mario Golf on GC and GBA. The high difficulty, mandatory install, and wonky online communication will probably cause me to wait for the next PS3 sequel.

Vicviper
04-14-2008, 05:07 PM
I'm curious about a sequel. I see Japan has new players you can download. What would stop them from having courses you can download?

Seraph
04-14-2008, 05:10 PM
How come the games cover looks like something out of a Triple X BMX game, but the actual game looks like cute anime Pangya golf?

Joe Redifer
04-22-2008, 03:54 AM
Rad Racer
5/10
Nintendo Entertainment System

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/radracer_box.jpg
Similar in style to most other early NES boxes,
Rad Racer conveys a sense of grandeur and class.

Back in the so-called "8-bit generation" of videogames, I purchased a Sega Master System instead of an NES. Among the games I owned for the SMS was a nice little gem called Out Run. While it certainly couldn't stack up to the arcade visually and aurally, it was a competent conversion given the machine that it was running on and it even had some great music. The hills animated in a choppy manner, but that was really the game's only major flaw. I had heard of a game called Rad Racer on the evil Nintendo system which supposedly their take on Out Run. I looked at screenshots, saw the TV ads and read the instruction booklet that a friend brought to school one day cover to cover. I wanted to play it and compare. I was understandably curious. So a few months later I rented an NES system from a video store with a bunch of games. This was to be my first experience playing the system, ever. Previously I had only watched videotapes of games made by another friend (who did not have Rad Racer). Along with the system I rented World Runner 3D (because it kind of looked like Space Harrier, another SMS game I owned and loved), The Legend of Kage, Tengen Pac Man (a normal NES cart, not a Tengen cart) and of course Rad Racer. I rushed home and was very excited to try these games. But let's focus on solely on Rad Racer (and Out Run, of course).

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/radracer1.png
A typical shot from Rad Racer on the NES.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/outrun.png
Here is a shot of Out Run on the SMS for comparison.

Graphics: 6/10
The first thing that stood out to me was that the hills animated very smoothly. They weren't choppy like in the SMS version of Out Run. I thought that was really cool and wondered why Out Run didn't do it this way. However I also noticed that the hills looked kind of weird. It was basically as if the road was curving up and down at its own random discretion. The road's perspective was a bit messy, and I am a big fan of perspective, it was part of everything I drew in high school. Even on a perfect straightaway like the one in the very beginning of the game, if you moved to the left or the right side of the road, the road in the distance would curve inward for no reason at all. Very amateurish, even for the time. The colors looked drab compared to Out Run and the other cars were friggin' huge and plain. The backgrounds had 2 layers of scrolling and that was cool, but it wasn't as well done as World Grand Prix's multi-layer backgrounds on the SMS. Yes, I was comparing everything. There is a 3D mode that can be accessed by pressing the SELECT button at any time (just like World Runner 3D). You need to use anaglyph glasses (red and blue) for it to work, but the screen still flickers back and forth like a Sega 3D game despite not having shutter goggles to compensate. The 3D effect is pretty bad and doesn't work well at all. I couldn't really compare it to the SMS 3D at the time as I hadn't purchased the Sega 3D glasses yet. The animation in the game is fine, though your car sure does seem quite bouncy. Overall it didn't look as nice as Out Run on the SMS, but to be fair Out Run had far more MEGA POWER than Nintendo could ever afford at the time.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/radracer2.png
The 3D mode didn't work very well and they even
required the glasses be worn backwards, with the
red covering the right eye instead of the left.

Sound: 5/10:
I had also heard about this game having multiple music tracks, just like Out Run. I was excited. I had already heard NES games like Mega Man 2 and Blaster Master on videotape, so I figured that Rad Racer must have great music as well. Perhaps I was being a bit too hasty. At first there wasn't any music at all, just your typical 8-bit racing game noise. Then I realized that you must press DOWN on the d-pad to enable the music. If you keep pressing DOWN, you'll cycle through all of the music tracks available. Unfortunately, none of the music tracks are very memorable. It seemed incompetently composed by a talentless musician. Sega definitely had the better musicians. Each one of Out Run's selectable tunes are memorable and enjoyable even today even when playing the SMS version despite its technically inferior sound hardware compared to the NES.

Here is a short example of the music in Rad Racer, recorded from a real NES (http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/radracer.mp3) - MP3 Format, mono, 1 MB

For comparison, here's an example of Out Run's music, recorded from a real SMS (http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/outrun.mp3) - MP3 Format, mono, 1.4 MB

Gameplay: 5/10
About the only thing gameplay-wise this game has in common with Out Run is that it is a racing game and you race a Ferrari. I was used to Out Run's branching multiple paths, but Rad Racer was a straight shot. Fine, I can deal with that. However the game is extremely difficult and the controls really aren't very well done thanks to the underskilled programmers who did this game. You hold up for a boost and try to make it to the next checkpoint, which you can't really see anywhere. The actual checkpoint markers are tiny little posts on the side of the road that you can only make out if you hit zero on the timer and your car is slowing down as a result. It is easy to accidentally keep switching between music tracks when you turn if you aren't holding the boost. Why they didn't put up a screen before the race to let you choose the music instead of mapping it to a direction key was an obvious oversight by the worthless programmers who surely never went on to greatness. The game would be more enjoyable if the timer wasn't so rigid, but as it is it gets boring even back in its day. Amazingly, there are no emo characters or sappy teenage drama in this game. This actually raises the score a little.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/radracer3.png
It is way too damn easy to crash in this game.

Wrap up:
I returned the NES to the rental store feeling that I had made the right choice as it was clear to me that the Sega Master System beat Nintendo's own releases with better graphics, better sound and music and better gameplay. The only real advantages Rad Racer had over Out Run were the smoothly animated hills and that you could select from two cars instead of just one (which didn't seem to make much of a difference). Sure, the NES had many more games, but it's not like a 15 year old kid can afford to buy shitloads of games anyway. I would eventually get an NES in 2006. To end the story, I do own Rad Racer for my NES now, and it has been fun to revisit. It was stale in its time and it has aged much worse than Out Run and not many people really discuss, care about or even remember Rad Racer. Too bad Square didn't just stop there and go away.

Seraph
04-22-2008, 01:32 PM
Good review, even if it read more like a comparison to Outrun rather than a review of the game itself. You Sega fanboy you.

I actually played this once when I was little. We had to visit some sick relative of mine who I barley knew in the hospital. Since I was bored to tears I got to go to the "fun room" and play with all the games meant for the sick kids. I only had about a half hour and my choices were Rad Racer or Dick Tracy, I chose Rad Racer.

I really didn't enjoy what I played, party because I had just gotten my brand new SNES and had experinced my freinds copy of F-Zero.

Kiryu1985
04-22-2008, 02:20 PM
great review, can I brainwash you into reviewing Maui Mallard neeeext plz

http://img169.imageshack.us/img169/2259/421pxmauieuropegv1.jpg

Joe Redifer
04-22-2008, 10:13 PM
I've never even heard of that game.

Zachalmighty
04-22-2008, 10:29 PM
Rad racer have any relationship to ridge racer?

Joe Redifer
04-22-2008, 11:06 PM
Nope. No relation to Speed Racer, either.

Vicviper
04-22-2008, 11:13 PM
lol. no relations to ridge racer.

Nice comparison/review. This must be a new category. It seemed more like a high school paper asking to compare and contrast Rad Racer vs. Outrun. Well Square read your review/comparison and went back in time to 1990 and made Rad Racer II. Part II corrects "bad programming" that the first one had. Mainly the track in the distance doesn't turn the same direction as you turn the wheel. Secondly you can choose between two music tracks or silence before the race starts. The control is much better and forgiving but feels more slippery. You should rent it some day.
I am in agreement with you that Outrun is a better game but Rad Racer does have a small amount of charm that I like.

Joe Redifer
04-22-2008, 11:34 PM
I actually did have a few sentences about Rad Racer 2 and Out Run 3D, but I removed them as I have not yet rented Rad Racer 2 so I couldn't really say anything in depth.

And yes, the review was supposed to be from my 1986 or 87 perspective. Seraph, please read my first post in this thread and you'll see that a Sega bias is one of the rules here.

Zachalmighty
04-23-2008, 12:14 AM
Nope. No relation to Speed Racer, either.

Go speed racer go speed racer. YEh!
http://thegarageblog.com/garage/wp-content/uploads/speedracer1.jpg

Vicviper
04-23-2008, 12:44 AM
Dammit! Run down to Power Play or Buy Back and rent it. It's only a 1$ a night.

Joe Redifer
05-01-2008, 03:44 AM
Mario Kart Wii
6/10
Nintendo Wii

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/mariokartwii_box.jpg
Nintendo is marketing the fact that you can
use the wheel instead of the gameplay itself.

OK, I think that maybe, just maybe Nintendo is whoring out Mario just a wee bit too much. Isn't everyone sick of him yet? Neither he nor any of his friends/siblings/babies/alter egos/enemies are likable in any respect whatsoever. Even Sesame Street characters are geared more towards adults than this. Seriously, he's in nearly every damn game Nintendo makes... unless it is a Zelda game. Nintendo doesn't make Metroid so that doesn't count. Perhaps everyone else is getting sick of him as well, because this appears to be the least-anticipated Mario Kart game ever. Most people don't express any interest in it, and it has received generally average reviews. Anyway, to the game:

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/mariokartwii1.jpg
Just another Mario Kart game.

Graphics: 4/10
The graphics are pretty much dogshit with only a few exceptions. They really don't look any better than the Gamecube edition which itself was extremely lacking. Some of the retro courses have an extremely blocky look, they didn't even try to make them look much better at all. The graphics are also very jaggy with extremely simple textures and a polygon count low enough that the Sega Saturn could probably run this game (with poorer textures, of course). Tree trunks are 4-sided blocks! At least the colors are generally pretty nice.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/mariokartwii2.jpg
Online, opponents are automatically picked for you and their geographical.
location is shown. You can join friends, though. And no, that is not me.

Sound: 3/10
None of the music is memorable or good. All of the character voices are annoying (again, even Sesame Street is more mature and less annoying). There is nothing special here at all. I am surprised they even made an effort to make the game in stereo. Play with the sound off and put on your own music, you will enjoy it much more, guaranteed.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/mariokartwii3.jpg
You get "VR Points", whatever the hell those are, at the end of each online race.
Yipee!!!!!

Gameplay: 6/10
Since I have fully grown testicles, there is no way I am playing with the included Fisher Price steering wheel that was built for 4-year-old hands. Fortunately there are other control options available. You can hold the nunchuck in one hand and the wand thing in the other and use this combination to play. I tried this and it wasn't bad. But you can also use a Gamecube controller which is even better. Unfortunately you can't remap the buttons to a more comfortable setup since Nintendo is always behind the curve. You can do tricks and wheelies to gain a mini boost and keep repeating them over and over to gain boost after boost. But Mario Kart really isn't about racing... it's about cheating. All of the cheat items are random, so the outcome of any given race is random as well, at least in multiplayer. You can go from first to last is a matter of seconds due to cheats, and you can go from last to first in the same amount of time if you happen to have the right cheat.

Nintendo finally got an online mode that works, but it is still far inferior to that of Sony and Microsoft. You are not allowed to communicate except with pre-selected phrases that Nintendo has chosen for you. This makes everyone else seem pretty lifeless. Online mode is a bit more challenging than the computer because everyone is alive, but other than that it feels exactly like you are playing the CPU. As a result, online mode isn't that great and you can't really earn anything other than a score.

The game gives you all of the old cheats and probably some new ones as well (I can't tell, they all seem the same to me). As always the banana is the cheat you really want to get because it is so frickin' awesome! It's a good thing fantastically amazing thing you'll get it nearly every other time!!!!!! Half the tracks are new, the other half are reruns from older games due to Nintendo's laziness. Some of them are cool, some of them are mediocre. There are also battle modes with balloons and other such nonsense. There really isn't much to say about this game except that Nintendo did not give it very much attention or effort. Compared to games that cost $10 more like Burnout Paradise and given that they offer at least 200 times the amount of stuff/detail that this game does, it kind of feels like a rip off even at $50.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/mariokartwii4.jpg
Motorcycles are now part of the game. Wheelies can help a bit on straightaways.
They are easy to do, along with tricks to get a boost, on the Gamecube Nintendo pad.

Wrap up:
At least it's better than the Gamecube Nintendo Mario Kart. There are lots of tracks, so that is cool. But when it comes down to it, this game doesn't offer much, was cheaply made without much effort and offers little replayability. A half-assed effort to be sure with graphics that looked good 8 years ago.

Alexander
05-01-2008, 04:01 AM
VR must stand for

Va-rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooom

good review

Seraph
05-01-2008, 01:49 PM
I haven't tried it myself yet. However I agree Mario is being whored way too much. It's almost getting to Sonic levels of street walking whore. It's sad to see the Mario Kart series get sucked up into the no-effort MarioParty/Sports shovelware category. I miss when Mario Kart was a respectable AAA series. At least we will always have Mario Kart DS.

The online aspect of this game is probably the only reason I want MKWii, it looks really awesome. Well, that and I think the motion controls look really fun.

Vicviper
05-01-2008, 10:00 PM
Seraph, it looks to me like Joe would gladly sell you his copy of the game and probably at a slight discount. It even has an unused steering wheel.

Seraph
05-01-2008, 10:29 PM
Seraph, it looks to me like Joe would gladly sell you his copy of the game and probably at a slight discount. It even has an unused steering wheel.As much as I'd love to, I couldn't afford a near $50 pricetag right now. WiiFit is coming and my money is already set for that. Besides, since Joe is a collector I dont think he sells games.


Oh also I missed this my first read though
None of the music is memorable or good.
I have to disagree. From the videos I've seen it seems like a good soundtrack, I like the WiFi connecting music at least. At the very least it has some remixes of classic songs right?

Joe Redifer
05-01-2008, 10:36 PM
It does, barely remixed with an extremely primitive/minimalistic instrument set (no real instruments, of course) and few channels (instruments at the same time). Those tracks are best for nostalgic value, but since I don't get nostalgic over Mario Kart they don't have much effect on me. I remember everyone going apeshit over the Rainbow Road music back in the day and I was like "WTF??" Nintendo music rarely appeals to me, except when it does. The WiFi connecting music is ethereal and I agree it is good, however it gets old after about 8 seconds since there are only two bars at about 2 seconds each. Not something you'd put on your iPod.

WiiFit? Please, you can't be serious. It has sold assloads in the UK, though. Also, why is the UK getting all of the Nintendo games first lately?

Seraph
05-01-2008, 11:03 PM
WiiFit? Please, you can't be serious. It has sold assloads in the UK, though. Also, why is the UK getting all of the Nintendo games first lately?I find that lately I get bored of traditional games. How many times have I bought the same game in a different outfit? After playing games for almost 20 years, I feel the industry is full of genres that are just tired. While I still get enjoyment out of these traditional games, its new unique games like WiiFit that get me truly excited.

I’m also into get-up-and-play games like DDR, Wii Sports, ect…I also have the false dream that it will be an easy fix to get skinny : (

EDIT: I dont want to come off as turning into an Icarus, dont worry guys I still like normal games. :)



The UK is getting these games becuase the have to wait for the megaendallbestgamesinceocarinaoftime11outof10 smash brawl.

SuperAngelo64
05-02-2008, 01:01 AM
None of the music is memorable or good.

Wha-?

I can think of some great tracks off the top of my head, though I couldn't give you the names (or where they appear in the game) since I just have a rip someone made listed with numbers and vague titles. None of the ones I'm thinking of are remixes either (though those tracks are definitely more memorable and nostalgic (since their respective games have been out for more than a few weeks)).

Joe Redifer
05-02-2008, 03:09 AM
I probably should have said "particularly good" instead of just "good". I wanted to convey that the music is pretty much unnoticeable and has very little to make you sit up and think "Wow, this is nice music", but at the same time it isn't just random bleeps and bloops or something horrible.

Vegetto
05-02-2008, 07:39 PM
the voices reallllly get on my nerves, more so than previous MK games, the miis are just horrible

Seraph
05-02-2008, 07:47 PM
Are they really that bad? I didnt think it could get much worse than "HI IM DAISY, HI IM DAISY".

NES4EVER
05-03-2008, 01:58 AM
They do that stupid third person shit in Mario Party games as well.

"OH YEAH, Luigi like-ah DAT!" = annoying

I agree the game is kinda weak and feels rushed. The only thing that makes it better than Double Dash is the bonus online play. Basically the same game with some fresh boards + online.

That said though, it's still a fun party game and has much better mechanics than shit like Nitrobike, GT Pro Series and other trashy racers on the Wii.

It would've really been cool had they made some kind of track editor/builder for it or made another game mode they hadn't before. Something like Demolition Derby.


EDIT - BTW, this was a reply to Joe's post 2 doors down.. MB is caught in a time loop

Vicviper
05-03-2008, 04:44 AM
The voices are annoying but the game overall is great. Joe is filled with piss and vinegar so his review should be taken with that in mind. If you plan to play online then this game is well worth it. Offline is fun and the AI doesn't get super cheap until the Mirror mode. But even then it still is fun and kept me coming back until I beat it. Good Game.

Joe Redifer
05-03-2008, 05:06 AM
The characters talk about themselves in the third person. If you play with Mario and you win, Mario will say something like "Mario number one yeah oooooo!" Turn off the sound and turn on something high quality like Stone Temple Pilots or Trent Razor.

Anyway it seems like my review has made Vicviper sad. Online does not make or break the game. As it is on its own, it's a 6. Is 6 a horrible rating? Read my letter published in EGM to find out what I had to say about people who could not grasp the concept of 5 being "average". There just really isn't a lot to the game. It's very small, very minimal and hastily made with little effort (this cannot be argued with). For a current generation game, it is definitely a bit weak.

SuperAngelo64
05-03-2008, 05:44 AM
Stone Temple Pilots

I could either listen to "Hi, I'm Daisy!" or their one and only good song.Sour Girl

Hmmmm....

camac
05-03-2008, 08:02 AM
The characters talk about themselves in the third person. If you play with Mario and you win, Mario will say something like "Mario number one yeah oooooo!" Turn off the sound and turn on something high quality like Stone Temple Pilots or Trent Razor.

Mario and pals have had shitty voices and retarded one liners since around the N64 days, I remember back in the NES days and the Super Mario Super Show when he and the rest of them had great hilarious voices. I never understood why Nintendo decided to give him a different voice than the ones in the cartoon.

Joe Redifer
05-03-2008, 08:33 AM
their one and only good song.

Ah! So they do have a good song! I just knew they would be the epitome of quality, otherwise they would not be the Stone Temple Pilots!

Vicviper
05-03-2008, 01:49 PM
Anyway it seems like my review has made Vicviper sad. Online does not make or break the game. As it is on its own, it's a 6. Is 6 a horrible rating? Read my letter published in EGM to find out what I had to say about people who could not grasp the concept of 5 being "average". There just really isn't a lot to the game. It's very small, very minimal and hastily made with little effort (this cannot be argued with). For a current generation game, it is definitely a bit weak.

Nope. I'm not sad because I know I didn't waste my money. There is a lot more to this game if you look deeper. If you are just looking at off line then yes it is a bit weak. But, there is plenty to keep me interested online. A couple of examples, Racing for VR points. While you find them idiotic it's a good way to measure yourself with other players and it's fun racing knowing there is more at stake then just a finish. The Mario Kart Channel. Again it's fun to download other peoples ghosts and try and beat them and see what there strategies are for courses. The tournament picks one course and you have a week to race it as many times as you want to get your lowest time which then you can measure yourself with people from your region or accross the world.
This is where I think your score is flawed. You reviewed the game based on racing offline and racing online but didn't even try any of the other aspects such as the Mario Kart Channel. But again it's your review and your opinions and if you only want to scratch the surface of the game then that's up to you.

Zachalmighty
05-03-2008, 03:17 PM
I could either listen to "Hi, I'm Daisy!" or their one and only good song.Sour Girl

Hmmmm....

ZUimElsi8Ag

The music video begs to differ.

George Foreman
05-04-2008, 11:28 PM
SUM CRAZY VIDEO

The music video begs to differ.

WTF is this... well damn, this ain't too bad (the video is pretty weird though).

Joe Redifer
05-05-2008, 12:36 AM
Vic, I think you're grasping for straws looking for things to really like in the game. Sure, some of those things are neat but in no way do they make the game ten times better than just playing offline. In fact those features would have to be super incredible if I was only "scratching the surface" with my review. Compared to many other games on other systems, even the online mode is very weak and limited, though I admit it is really good.... for Nintendo. I know I've urged you to start up your own review thread and I would still love to see it. Yes, I'd be there to argue with you but hey, that's half the fun!

Still, a somewhat lackluster effort overall. I wish they had taken their time with this like they did with Super Mario Galaxy. I am quite surprised at when this game came out. Nintendo usually likes to stretch their releases out. This time the product clearly suffered as a result.

Vicviper
05-05-2008, 05:23 PM
No way! I have neither the time nor talent to make any sort of review thread that is interesting to the public like yours. Plus I like pointing out things in your reviews. Like the fact that you missed some of the online portion of Mario Kart that might interest readers even if it doesn't interest you. And that if you are going to review a game that all contents should be mentioned. :) But then again it is your review thread and I am just criticizing.
Nintendo is behind in the online game and it's no secret. I bet by the end of the Wii's life Nintendo might include some sort of real chat with there games rather then pre picked phrases..

Joe Redifer
12-12-2008, 02:32 PM
Road Rash
8.5/10
3DO

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/roadrash3do_box.jpg
3DO games always had horrible boxes that resembled the
old way music CDs used to be sold. Although this version
has a warning about mature themes on the box, the Sega CD,
Playstation and Saturn versions are rated K-A, age 6+. A
game like this would get at least a TEEN rating these days.

Road Rash started on the mighty and powerful Sega Genesis and spawned two sequels. Then the 3DO system was released for $699 US dollars (which is well over $1,020 in todays dollars) and EA was preparing the franchise with a complete reboot ala Batman Begins, but redressed in 3DO graphics and sound. Most the old characters are here and the courses as well. I remember the day I picked up Road Rash for the 3DO very well. Fellow forum member Vic Viper called me up excited as could be, informing me that Walden Software had just gotten their shipment in. Since I had off that day, he told me to pick up his copy for him as well. I drove way up to the store in my mighty brown 1984 Ford Tempo and got the games. When I got home I played for a bit and was then called by United Artists Greenwood Plaza about a projectionist job I had applied for. I went down and was interviewed and hired on the spot. This job would end up changing my life both professionally and personally forever. I drove from this job to my old job and put in my two weeks notice. After that I drove home and ate. I think I then drove up to fellow forum member Vic Viper's house with his copy or maybe he drove down to my place. Whatev. I can't believe my brown 1984 Ford Tempo survived all of the driving that awesome day.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/roadrash3do1.jpg
Typical screen in Road Rash. Why does one way only
get one lane, and the other way gets three? WTF???

Story: 10/10
When you think "Road Rash", you automatically think "epic writing". This incarnation of the game is no different. The evil Road Rash Empire has an iron grip on the world. A rebel army, led by Teflon Mike, tries to organize a coup against the Road Rash Empire, but fails time and time again. Meanwhile Slim is brainwashed by Rhonda and takes on the persona of a Dark Knight. He is put in charge of the mission to build a giant Warship for the Road Rash Empire, which is based in the city of San Fransisco. Pearl now decides to send some random youths and Slash to San Fransisco to stop the building of the Warship. When they arrive they overhear rumors that the Dark Knight has been called back to the Road Rash Empire, and Bose Jefferson has taken his place as overseer of the Warship project. However, Bose is sloppier than the Dark Knight, and the youths manage to sneak in via the sewers. However, the Dark Knight is waiting for them and informs them that the Warship is already complete; he and Bose escape on it. They strafe several cities and kill many people. Before leaving San Fransisco, the three youths pick up a pass that the Dark Knight leaves behind. This pass grants entry into a motorcycle race in which the fate of the entire universe will be decided. Great stuff! This story is so hot that fans have drawn the characters in a manga/anime style and even own wall scrolls of them!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/roadrash3do2.jpg
That is an innocent pedestrian that I am running over there.

Graphics: 7.5/10
The graphics are pretty good for the 3DO, and that was a system not really known for anything particularly outstanding. It featured tr00 scaling so obviously it was quite badass. The game ran around 20 frames per second or so, but in 1994 that was way s00per badass. The graphics got really blocky when things got close, but thanks to a certain popular system called the SNES, blocky graphics meant "awesome hi-tech". This game was like living in a lucid dream. There is plenty of draw-in in the distance, but it was never really distracting. The menus and characters were all drawn/painted/whatever with a warped, exaggerated style, a great sense of humor and in a very high resolution. All of the characters and objects during the actual gameplay are digitized Mortal Kombat-style from real photographs and whatnot and are all 2D sprites. This makes the graphics a bit worse as a result, but they are still better than Mortal Kombat simply because it's not Mortal Kombat. There isn't a lot of variety in the racing environments. You have a ciy with buildings of a few different colors and open spaces, all very California-esque. There is also an oceanside. That's about it, really. You have many different tracks to choose from, but they all share textures for their environments. The environmental textures are not digitized like the 2D sprites are.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/roadrash3do3.jpg
Road Rash rubbers. Under "All new" it says: "Stop the rash.
Wear the rubber". Remember, this game is rated 6 years +.

Sound 8/10
To me, the soundtrack of this game just screams "the 90's". That might be because it was made in the 90's. Many 90's grunge/rock bands from the fantastic music label A&M Records have their music represented here. No other labels were permitted to participate because they just couldn't measure up to the level of absolute perfection that the 3DO multimedia entertainment system demanded. Anyway, most of the music is actually quite listenable and even starts to grow on you. I really think this music adds to the game. The licensed music only plays during the menus and FMV portions of the game. Strange MIDI-esque type music generated by the system plays during the actual races. That music is OK... it isn't offensive or anything. The main complaint that most people have is that the licensed music doesn't play during the races. To me, it works just fine this way. If licensed music played while you race you'd quickly get bored with it and I don't think it would be as fitting. The sound quality of the songs is a tad muffled since it is streamed with limited bandwidth off of the disc, but still somehow manages to be in stereo. The game purports to be in Dolby Surround, and the whine of the engines and the police sirens actually do come out of the surround speakers when appropriate. This game has many hilarious sound effects like hitting other riders with a club. Every scream and grunt is limited to about a half-second (at most).

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/roadrash3do4.jpg
Getting hit by a blocky car sucks since it can completely
end the race in an instant.

Gameplay: 8.5/10
The gameplay is almost exactly the same as the Genesis versions. You race, you fight, you buy new bikes, the tracks get longer with each new level, etc... In the "Schmooze" section that you can enjoy between races, other characters will either berate you or give you some good advice. However if you fight these characters during the races, they will no longer give you advice and will instead fight you and try to defeat you just like the Playstation defeated the N64... embarrassingly. The one new thing added to this game is the branching paths that show up occasionally. These don't really add much to the game except a little variety. There really isn't much to the game play here. But it is quite fun to play if only for the cheesiness factor and the over-the-top corny violence. The loading can be slow and each time you move the cursor on a menu screen it has to load. This can be aggrivating but this is really as bad as the game ever gets. It's just so fun to run over the pedestrians who wander the city streets for no reason whatsoever (including grannys with walkers). They even fight back... or try to. I do like how this game does not take itself very seriously and that helps me enjoy it even more. I have a hard time enjoying games that are really full of themselves (**cough** MetalGearSolid series **cough**). The newer, 3D versions of the game pretty much ruined the series (especially that gawdawful N64 incarnation) so we haven't seen Road Rash in a long time. Hopefully someone like Criterion will make a new Road Rash that is worth playing.

Here's some Road Rash clips I made for you. In stereo! Enjoy.
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The intro, beginning a race, some race clips, and a few different FMVs.

Other versions:
This game was ported to the Playstation, Saturn and even the Sega CD. How do they stack up? Well the Playstation version is probably the most faithful to the original 3DO version. But the graphics are now in 240p (the 3DO was a 480i-only machine). The graphics during the game don't suffer as a result, but all of the menu screens seem much lower-res. The engine sounds are a bit louder and the loading times are a touch longer on the PS version as well. Let's not forget the eternity it takes the average PS game to save to a memory card. The Saturn version is also in 240p, has slightly worse-looking FMV clips than the PS and 3DO versions but the gameplay runs at faster, smoother frame rate. The in-game music has changed and is now more quiet and more bizarre. I don't like it. The Sega CD version looks like the Genesis cartridge versions but with the digitized sprites. It is also the only version to play the licensed music during the actual races, though they sound really muffled and in mono. The graphics bear absolutely no resemblance to the 3DO orignal except for the grainy low-res menus and the super grainy FMVs. But at least it saves and loads faster than the Playstation version.

Wrap-up:
This game hasn't aged particularly well (kind of like your mom), but still remains a pick-up and play classic to this day (also like your mom). Recommended (not like your mom).

eastx
12-14-2008, 12:00 AM
This review gets better every time you post it. :)
Road Rash is like the second 3DO game I ever rented. If not for the repetitive scenery and brutal difficulty, it'd still be super fun.

Vegetto
12-14-2008, 12:02 AM
As I said before, I loved playing this game, its the only reason I was friends with one kid, because I'd go to his house and play it.

I remember wanting Road Rash 64 SOOO bad, I never did play that.

zechin
12-14-2008, 12:35 AM
The only reason you were friends with a particular kid? *shakes head*

P.S: im kidding LIKE USUAL!

Joe Redifer
12-16-2008, 09:05 PM
Ghostbusters
8.4/10
Sega Genesis

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ghostbusters_box.jpg
The box doesn't need to be anything
more than this.

With all of the recent talk of a new Ghostbusters game and the possibility of a real Ghostbusters 3 movie, I felt it appropriate to review the best Ghostbusters game ever made... the one developed by Compile (MUSHA, Puyo Puyo, Space Megaforce, etc) for the Sega Genesis 16-Bit Entertainment Super System. This is the only Ghostbusters game that I am aware of that even makes a half-assed attempt at getting the characters to look anything like they did in the movie. However it should be known that Compile absolutely hates black people, so Winston was not allowed to be in this game. That is unfortunate, but maybe Obama will create a whole bunch of new laws and Sega will be forced to recall all copies of the Ghostbusters cart to add him in. In the meantime, however, you can play as any of the 3 other guys. Even Slimer is in the game, but not refered to as such. However he is a good guy since he gives you powerups when you shoot him in the ass, so this game was at least a little influenced by The Real Ghostbusters cartoon in that respect. It should also be noted that this game is NOT based on either movie. It seems to take place after the Ghostbusters are already established and they're just taking on new cases.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ghostbusters1.png
Some ghosts can help you, like the little blue dude on the left who bounces your ghostbustin' ass higher.
On the right is the typical screen you are in before each mission. Looks super-complex and confusing, but it's not.

Graphics: 7.26/10
This was a fairly early Genesis game and only had 4 MEGA POWER, so amazing graphics were not very likely to be found here. However they are more than good enough to do the job. The game has kind of a super-deformed style that is more friendly and cute than the movies themselves. The charicatures are pretty good and there are lots of vivid colors used for the enemies and backgrounds. You get the Stay Puft marshmellow man because people go apeshit if there is anything Ghostbusters-related without Stay Puft in it. However Stay Puft does flicker a little bit. Well tear, actually... not flicker. One thing I do not like is how Stay-Pufts hand, when smashing through the wall, seems to be cut off instead of being seen through the entire hole (see screen shot below). A little more effort and attention to details like this would have made things better.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ghostbusters2.png
Stay Puft punches through walls trying to ruin your shit as you advance through this level. More attention should have been paid here.
If you pause the game, you can see a map and select different items as well as your bombs (which hurt ghosts, like all bombs do).

Sound: 8.5/10
Compile usually has great game music, and this game certainly does not disappoint. You get an average rendition of the theme song in the title screen, but beyond that it is all original music. The melodies are composed very well for each stage and even the shop music and other ancillary tunes are fantastic. The sound effects are average but effective. If this game had a higher MEGA POWER, it would have been awesome to have demon screams or whatever for some of the bosses, but due to the "cute" style of the game they would probably have been out of place.

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ghostbusters4.png
The boss requires all of your cunning, strategy and skills to defeat. If you can do it, your efforts
will be on the front page of the Daily Sega News. Turn to page 14B to see how high Sega's profits are!

Gameplay: 8/10
By far the best playing Ghostbusters game ever. No worries about driving around endlessly on a map with a Ghostbusters icon and then driving to each location on a seemingly never-ending street, this game is all about the action. As a platform game it is near-perfect. The controls are dead-on for the most part, with the exception being that diagonals are turned off like the arcade version of Ghouls 'n Ghosts. That means if your thumb accidentally presses a diagonal direction while walking, your character will come to a dead stop. For this reason I highly recommend playig the game with the Sega Arcade Stick. It is an awesome, weighted joystick with few equals and provides the rapid fire that you will also desparately need in this game. If you have this stick, your enjoyment of the game will increase tenfold. Between the action stages there are shops to buy crap like lights, bombs and food and other nonsense. You usually have more than enough money for this, provided you trap each of the ghosts. The gameplay is tough without being overly difficult, though it can seem pretty hard to trap a ghost the first few times you try until you get the hang of it. You only have to trap the mid-bosses after they are defeated, by the way. Catching them is not necessary and only means you get some extra cash money as a result. Once you get to the last round, you'll find that it is very maze-like and seemingly very long. Good luck!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ghostbusters5.png
The mid-level bosses are a far cry from scary, but that's OK. The thing that matters is that it is "hella-fun".
Be sure to get your revenge on Slimer for what he did to you in the first movie!

http://www.joeredifer.com/reviews/ghostbusters3.png
Trap the mid-level boss after you defeat it and the woman will sleep with you... soundly!
She'll even pay you for it. What a whore!

Wrap up:
A damn fine game that's more enjoyable than many of today's games, but then again that's not a surprise, is it?

Vegetto
12-16-2008, 10:39 PM
I really wanted to try this out, looks really enjoyable.

Vicviper
12-17-2008, 08:43 AM
Ohh nice! I enjoyed this game but not all the way to the end. Just enough for myself to promise to go back and finish it someday which I still mean to. And you're right, this game IS more enjoyable then most of the games released today.
So how long does it take you to beat it?

Seraph
12-17-2008, 11:02 AM
diagonals are turned off like the arcade version of Ghouls 'n Ghosts. That means if your thumb accidentally presses a diagonal direction while walking, your character will come to a dead stop.What??? Why in the heck would they do this? That would drive me crazy with the Genesis's circle D-Pad. I'm not sure I'd enjoy playing a platformer with an arcade stick either.

Joe Redifer
12-17-2008, 04:54 PM
Same reason Ghouls 'n Ghosts did it, probably... but at least you could turn diagonals on in the Genesis version (you can't in any other version such as arcade compilations for PS2, Xbox, Saturn and the such.) And the stick feels really nice. It has a dedicated area for your left hand to rest. No other stick has that. Sega is teh r00l. I am not a joystick fan, but this is the only one I like aside from the Mission Stick on the Saturn, which is teh r00l for Space Harrier and After Burner.

How long does it take? I bet you could get through the game in an hour with practice, 45 minutes if you're really good.

Kiryu1985
12-27-2008, 01:13 PM
Have you played the game Flink for the sega cd? I thought it was an ok game with good graphics.

BnaYyVCNrnk

Havoc2049
12-27-2008, 05:24 PM
When are you going to pay homage to your avatar and do a review for The Immortal?

http://www.juegomania.org/Immortal,+The/fotos/genesis/0/345_c/Caratula+Immortal,+The.jpg

eastx
01-10-2009, 02:41 AM
Good idea, AtariX! Also he should discuss whether the European or Japanese versions of Storm Lord have the nude faeries that were once pictured in an EGM preview.

Joe Redifer
01-10-2009, 03:15 AM
I don't really care for The Immortal. It has cool box art, nothing more. Not even the extreme celebrity endorsement of the world-famous Will Harvey can save it. Maybe if it was Fiddy Cent's Immortal...

Havoc2049
01-11-2009, 08:19 AM
I don't really care for The Immortal. It has cool box art, nothing more. Not even the extreme celebrity endorsement of the world-famous Will Harvey can save it. Maybe if it was Fiddy Cent's Immortal...

:haha: Good one.

Peppy
02-21-2009, 12:17 AM
Nice Road Rash review. <3 that game.

NES4EVER
02-21-2009, 06:42 PM
Nice review of the Ghostbusters. I remember you saying that game was good in some thread few years back and I totally forgot about obtaining a copy off ebay since it's one of the few 16bit era games deemed "good" that I missed out on somehow.

Did you ever play the "New Ghostbusters II" on NES? It was much better than the two NES Ghostbusters we got in North America. It played similar to Zelda, had all four of the characters (including Winston, although he looked more like a Smurf than an African American because his skin was Mega Man blue" you could also play as the chick that answered the phone, why? no fuggin clue..

I'll have to give this Sega version a go sometime soon.

Paper exe
02-27-2009, 12:13 PM
What's up Joe? Where is your Little Big Planet review?! I cannot find it, I was sure that you had one. What's going on in here? :indiff: